ANDAL had always had a special liking to sundararAjapperumAL stationed in tirumAliruncOlai. >From her early childhood, she had heard her father's devotional pASurams expressing his anubhavam of this perumAL. In particular, the following pASuram where periAzhvAr sings the words of the young girls of AyarpADi who are in deep love with kaNNan, was fixed fresh in her mind always:

In this pASuram, periyAzhwAr becomes a tiruvAippADi girl and declares his love for kaNNan through her words; he describes, how he as the AyarpADi girl watched through her window the scene of kaNNan's pals making umbrellas out of leaves and holding them over His head to protect Him from direct sunlight, decorating His dense hair with peacock feathers making Him stand in front of their houses and doing dr*shTi SuRRal for Him, and dancing in glee around Him. Having seen such great beauty of kaNNan, the girl vishNucittai (the AyarpADi girl whose character periAzhvAr has assumed), declares that she will marry only tirumAliruncolai manan and no one else. She declares that if her parents try to marry her to anyone other than this Great Lord of tirumAlirum Solai, the world will laugh at them saying that they are out of their mind.

godai never forgot this pASuram; treading in her father's path, she also declares to the world through the coming 10 pASurams that she will marry only tirumAliruncOlai kaNNan. In the previous 10 pASurams (viNNIla mElAppu), she tried to send the clouds as her messenger to tirumalai, but they did would not cooperate. Instead, as if to show how much they enjoyed her 10 pASurams, they showered profusely in tirumAliruncolai and cooled the ground. Butterflies started flying around; flowers started blooming; bees started singing after drinking the nectar in the flowers. Watching all this, godai becomes even more intensely aware of her separation from the tirumAliruncOlai kaNNan. In the next 10 pASurams, she declares her love for tirumAlincOlai kaLLazhagan in sundarattamizh. The thoughts expressed by godai in these pASurams closely reflect the bhagavad anubhavams portayed by godai's anju kuDi (ancestors) - periyAzhwAr, nammAzhwAr, kulaSekara AzhwAr, tirumazhiSai AzhwAr, pEi/bhUtam/poigai AzhwArs. Cross-references will be given as we go along.

SItA pirATTi tells hanumAn as she sends him back to Lord rAma with her message - "pRANAnAapi sandeho mama syAt nAtra samSayah - I may not be alive by the time you come back. At least sItA pirATTi had hanumAn to go and give this message to rAma. Here ANDAL has no one who will go and give her message to bhagavAn. She pleads with the clouds to go and give her message to tiruvE~nkaTamuDaiyAn, but they don't listen. They stayed stubbornly where they were; not only that, they showered heavily right then and there, making the fragrant flowers blossom. Some flowers bloomed well, and some were just in the form of buds, and all this beauty around her only helped to remind ANDAL of bhagavAn, His tirumeni, and His beautiful eyes even more intensely, and made her suffering increase even more. This worsening state of ANDAL finds expression in the next 10 pASurams. Even further deterioration, leading to a stage where ANDAL is unsure if she can continue to hold on to her life, is described in the 10th tirumozhi which will follow. The ninth and tenth tirumozhis together convey the state in which nammAzhvAr finds himself as expressed in tiruvAimozhi 9.5 - innuyirc cEvalum. Here nammAzhvAr says that the cuckoos around him are enjoying themselves with their mates, and as if this is not enough, they keep cooing merrily, while he is suffering intensely because of his separation from kaNNan. It look as though the cuckoos are doing all this only with the intent of making nammAzhvAr feel miserable, and in the process kill him through intense mental suffering.

Butterflies are spread all over tirumAlirum SOlai mountain like the red sinduram powder applied on an elephant's forehead. The Hills remind godai of emperumAn who is huge like an elephant. She laments that this Lord, who long ago at the request of the devas who wanted the amRtam, made a mattu out of the mandara mountain, churned the ocean and obtained the sweetest amRtam, namely pirATTi, will neither appear in front of her not let her forget Him. She wonders if she will ever be able to escape the mAya net spread by sundarabAhu, the Lord of tirumAl irum Solai.

tirumAl irum SOlai nAthan has another name - sundarabAhu; ANDAL calls this tirunAmam "sundarat tOLuDaiyAn". godai's father periyAzhvAr had described the beauty of tirumAlirum SOlai mountain thus:" ....... appan malai indira kObangaL emperumAn kani vAi oppAn Sindum puRavil ten tirumAlirum SOlaiyE" (where he talks about the red color of the dense cloud of butterflies competing with the red hue of kaNNan's lips). The clouds with which godai conversed in the earlier pASuram have rained already; as soon as the rains stopped, the butterflies arise and cover the mountain; it looks like the mountain is clothed with red-hued cloth. Following her father's footsteps, godai starts painting the beauty of tirumAlirum SOlai. Thinking that if she uses her father's way of comparing the red flies to kaNNan's red lips, she would be tormented even more in viraha tApam, godai compares them to the red sindurap poDi. Even this clever way of avoiding kaNNan's beauty does not help her; She then heaves a long breath and reminds herself of how much this tirumAlirum SOlai nambi is tormenting her.

Just as tirumangai mannan said "aNNal Seydu, alai kaDal kaDaindu viNNavar amudil varum peNNamudu uNDa em perumAnE", godai describes how emperumAn supported the mandara malai in the form of a tortoise (kUrmam), churned the pARkaDal and took mahAlashmi, who came out of the ocean and thus does mangaLAsAsanam to Him. With the words "mandaram nATTi", ANDAL is referring to kUrmAvatAram. The following passage from bhAgavatam describes kUrmAvatAram:

(Even though the mandara malai was being supported by the most powerful devas and aSuras, it started drowning in the ocean, because of it own weight. At that time, baghavAn took a huge form of a tortoise, got into the ocean, carried the mandara malai on His back and brought it up above the ocean level (so that the devas and aSuras could continue to churn). The mandara mountain, which now had as a foundation emperumAn's back, was trying to test the strength of emperumAn's tortoise shell, and started growing and growing till it reached the skies. He vanquished the mountain's ego by appearing with thousands of hands and by pressing the mountain with just one of His hands. bAghavatam speaks of this beauty:

Sindurac cempoDi... parandiTTanavAl: godai is hoping to hold on to life at least by having the darSanam of His abode, tirumAlirum SOlai malai; now that hope is also destroyed. Alas! All these butterflies are covering the hills.

Sindurac cempoDi pOl: tirumalai looks like a huge elephant. The red butterflies covering the mountain make it look like the sindurap poDi applied on the elephant's forehead. sinduram here refers to the red color, and Semmai refers to its beauty. periyAzhvAr also talks about "Sinduram ilanga tan tiru neRRi mEl" (periyAzhvArtirumozhi 3-4-6). This red color also reminds ANDAL of His beautiful red lips. periAzhvAr refers to this in his tirumozhi 4.2.9 - "indira kObangaL emperumAn kani vAi oppAn Sindum puRavil".

tirumAl irum Solai engum parandiTTanavAl: The butterflies appear after a rain are all over the world; why does godai talk about tirumAl irum Solai as if this is the phenomenon that occurs only here? It is because for her thriumAl irum Solai is the world; all she can see is tirumalai.

indira kObangaLe: ANDAL does not see these butterflies which have enveloped tirumAl irum Solai as analogous to the bhAkta vAnara-s which had covered SrI lankA's walls all around; she was seeing them as analogous to the cruel rAkshasa-s who had enveloped the whole of SrI lankA.

ezhundum parandiTTanavAl: rAmAyaNam yuddha kANDam (26-20,22) talks about how naLan is being followed by monkeys who raise their bodies, sound like lions, rise up and down with anger; just like the vAnara troops, some of these butterflies appear on the ground, some keep rising up, some are flying.

mandaram nATTI anRu madurak kozhum SaRu koNDa: He can agitate even the great tattva-s such as the ocean and extract everything out of it without leaving anything behind. Why is ANDAL referring to this here? She is pointing out that there is nothing that is not possible for Him. Even though she thought that He cannot take control of her and make her suffer for Him like this, He completely invaded her mind and is making her suffer the separation to the point that she is so weak that her bangles are slipping out of her hands.

madurak kozhum SaRu koNDa: When He thus churned the ocean, He kept the real sweet essence of the amRtam, peria pirATTi, for Himself, and gave only what was left behind, which by comparison is like the salty extract of the ocean. In this context, tirumangai AzhvAr's peria tirumozhi 6.1.2 - viNNavar amudu uNNa amudil varum peN amuduNDa emperumAnE. (SrI PBA observes that the usage here by ANDAL is not just madurac cARu - the sweet nectar, but madurak kozhum SARu - peria pirATTi Herself).

sundarat tOLuDaiyAn: even though He tortures godai, she cannot leave Him, because of His beauty as reflected by His beautiful shoulders etc.

SuzhalaiyininRu uydum kolO : He is the creator of the clouds, the waves in the ocean, the lightning, the movement in the winds, the moon's kalaigaL, sun's movement etc. These are all His mAyai or leelA. If He has spread His net in the form of clouds to ensure we don't escape from Him, there is no way we are going to escape Him.

SrI PBA's anubhavam of the use of the word Suzhalai here by ANDAL is a reference to His cunning nature. Instead of coming in person, emperumAn makes the clouds resembling His hue appear before godai; He makes the indira kObangaL (butterflies) to spread all over and reminds her of His beautiful red lips. When such a great Magician is trying to catch godai, how can she escape?

Please refer to the bhakti archives (from October 1996 to February 1997) for a detailed description of tirumAlirum cOlai and related experiences and for additional anubhavamson this pASuram

nAcciyAr tirumozhi IX - Sindurac cempoDi pASuram 9.2 (ninth tirumozhi - pAsuram 2 pORkkaLiRu porum pORkkaLiRu porum mAlirum cOlai am pUmpuRavil
tArkkoDi mullaigaLum tavaLa nagai kATTuginRa
kArkkoL paDAkkaL ninRu kazhaRic cirikkat tariyEn
ArkkiDugO? tOzhI! Avan tAr Seyda pUSalaiyE

A. Meaning from SrImAn SaDagOpan's tamizh treatise:

"The majestic male elephants which are sporting on the corridors of tirumAl irum Solai by fighting with each other, remind me of the majestic emperumAn. The jasmine flowers that decorate these paths remind me of the beautiful smile of bhagavAn; another kind of creeper by name paDA is sprouting out with abundant flowers, and these together look like they are laughing at my sorrowful plight. I can't bear this misery. Oh My Dear Friend! To whom can we go and appeal for remedy against this injustice that is resulting from our desiring the garland of this azhagar of tirumAl irum Solai?"

The thought of the beautiful garland that decorates azhagar reminds godai of her dream "mandirak kODi uDuti maNamAlai andari SUTTa kanAk kaNDEn tOzhi", and makes her feel even more lonely from the separation from Him.

pORkkaLiRu porum mal irum SOlai: Male elephants are roaming around and having fun like emperumAn, while the female elephants are suffering from loneliness just like me.

tArkkoDi mullai: the sight of the jasmine flowers is torturing me by reminding me of emperumAn's sweet smile when we were together. The jasmine creeper is another creeper delicate like me, a peN koDi. Even though we are both alike in many senses, these creepers are torturing me. It is unheard of that these things are tormenting someone who is of their type (sa-jAti or vi-jAti).

KArkkoL paDAkkaL: the flowers cover the entire creeper and this is like emperumAn laughing whole-heartedly out of His svatantra Anandam after having mingled with me.

ArkkiDugO tOzhi: godai turns to her dear friend nearby to share her grief with her, but finds that the tozhi is already overcome by sorrow because of godai's condition and is unconsciously lying on the floor. Thus the friend who shares godai's concerns is not available to listen to godai's suffering. godai is wondering aloud with whom she can share her grief, hopeless helplessness and despair, shame and disgrace, especially because these other people have their own concerns and worries, and it will be futile for godai to share her problems with these others.

NammAzhvAr conveys this state of the tozhi-s in tiruvAimozhi 9-9-5 "yAmuDait-tuNai ennum tOzhimArum emmil mun avanukku mAivarAlO")- al my dear friends who care for me and worry about my state are dying before me out of their sorrow at His lack of concern for me and at my pathetic state.

godai addresses the beautiful kAkkaNam and kAyAm flowers: "Your hue reminds me of the color of the tirumEni of emperumAn who is always with pirATTi. You have to tell me a way for me to hold on to my life. Is it fair that this azhagar of tirumAl irum Solai with the beautiful and strong shoulders which are the sporting grounds of periya pirATTi, enters my house and confiscates my beautiful bangles by force?

ANDAL is telling these queens of flowers, the kAkkaNam and the kAyA malargaL, that the injustice that has been caused to her was committed by none other than sundarabAhu, the nAthan or Chief of the "kulamalai kOlamalai kuLir mAmalai koRRa malai, nilamail nINDa malai tirumAlirumcOlai malai".

TirumAl uru oLi kATTUginrIr: "You are reminding me of emperumAn's hue that appears when He and periya pirATTi are together".

An instance from the itihAsa-s is given by SrI PVP to illustrate how emperumAn gets His greatness from association with pirATTi. He gives the example of how Lord rAma, the cakravartit-tirumagan, got His greatness by being the son of the great daSaratha.

"During nanjIyar's time, there was a king named sundara pANDiya tEvar. He used to ask nanjIyar his doubts in SrI rAmAyaNam. One day, there was a discussion about the slokam in AraNya kANDam 1-9:

"(That rAman is valorous; He is very beautiful; He has no jealousy; He has none equal to Him in this world; He resembles His father, daSarathan in His attributes)".

The key phrase here is "guNair-daSarathopamah". How can emperumAn be compared to daSaratha in character?

NanjIyar's aRuLic ceyal was : "emperumAn was born as rAmapirAn and had His own guNa-s such as svabhAva paratvam etc; but, His having even half of daSaratha cakravarti's guNa-s would have been enough to call rAma the 'cakravarti tirumagan". Two reasons are given in support of this: 1. rAma Himself said: "AtmAnam mAnusham manyE rAmam daSarathAtmajam (rAmAyanam yuddha kANDam 120-11); It is perumAL's tiruvuLLam that He feels pride in being the Son of daSaratha viz. This is adding to His Greatness. 2. "guNair daSarathOpama:" - Here Lord rAma is compared to daSaratha, not the other way round, suggesting that daSaratha's association only adds to rAma's greatness. The analogy here is that, just as perumAL gets His Greatness because of His being daSarathan's son, perumAL gets His Greatness (here signified by "beautiful hue") because of association with periya pirATTi".

enakku uy vazhakku onRu uraiyIr: "Even though you have been created by Him just to make me suffer, you can try and help me too, instead of always remaining His loyal servants and torturing me. When two of us are involved, shouldn't you at least feel sorry for me since I am suffering?"

Why are these flowers so intent on making her suffer? The flowers, as His creation, were just following their dharma, that of following His tiru uLLam. It is His Will that she should be tortured, and they are just doing that.

An example of why these flowers just followed perumAL's tiru uLLam irrespective of the consequences, is again given by SrI PVP based on the conversation from SrI nanjIyar and sundara pANDiyan. The discussion centered around vibhIshaNa AzhvAn. Sundara pANDian thought it inappropriate that vibhishaNa abandoned his brother when the latter was in danger. NanjIyar's explanation was: "when an elder brother and father (here referring to emperumAn in the form of Lord rAma, who is the Father of all) have differences, a younger brother must follow only the father, not the elder brother. Since rAmapirAn is sarvalOka pitA, as declared in mahA bhAratam, sarveshAmeva lokAnAm pitA mAtA ca mAdhavah, the only appropriate action for vibhIshaNa was to join Him".

So these beautiful karuviLai and kASA malargaL were doing their duty of following His tiru uLLam, and did not have any problem torturing ANDAL.

uy vazhakku: ANDAL appeals to these flowers: "All you seem to know is how to finish me off; Why don't you learn to tell me how to live? Why don't you tell me that you will keep away from my sight and stop contributing to my misery? You have come as flowers (pU in tamizh), but you are performing the job of a tiger (puli)".

onRu uraiyIr: ANDAL is pleading to these flowers - just utter one word to me on which I can anchor and hold on to my hope that He will come to me one day.

tiru viLaiyADu tiN tOL: These strong shoulders of emperumAn are the place of sporting for peria pirATTi - godai is aware that this is not the emperumAn who is unkind to His nAyaki. So she is wondering aloud why He is being unkind to her now.

tirumAlirum Solai nambi: In the ancient days, when the southern part of India was just a wild forest, daNDakAraNya, occupied by the asura-s, it was looked down upon by the Aryans from the north as the mleccha bhUmi. But the tirumAlirum Solai nambi in the form of azhagar, showed His soulabhyam by sharing His presence even in the midst of the malaik kuRavargaL. periyAzhvAr sings about His souSIlyam in periyAzhvAr tirumozhi 5-3-3: "inak kuRavar pudiyaduNNum ezhil mAlirum SOlai endAi - You who accepts gladly the prasAdam offered to you by the kuRavargaL of tirumAl irum Solai".

vari vaLai il pugundu: ANDAL's feeling of separation from Him is overpowering her. She is telling these flowers: "It is not as if I went to His place and got into trouble with Him. If this was the case, at least it may be justifiable for Him to torture me and make me suffer. I am just sitting in my place, and He is coming and occupying my mind and making me suffer like this. Is this justified?"

vandi paRRum: "Without our seeking Him, He is coming and taking a hold of me and my vaLai (here symbolically used to refer to our life or soul). I am holding on to this vaLai because I know it is dear to Him, and He is now taking it away and making it His own involuntarily; Now you flowers! Tell me an alternate way of surviving, now that He has taken hold of my life".

SrI PBA nicely depicts the scene of the "conversation" between ANDAL and the kAyA and kAkkaNam flowers. The color and beauty of these flowers reminds ANDAL of emperumAn, and is destroying her even more. She is asking them if the only thing they know how to do is destroy her, and instead asking them to tell her a way of survival. They are asking her what it is that has happened to her so bad that she has to come and ask them for a way to continue to live. She says she does not mind Him offering His tiN tOL only to peria pirATTi and enjoying Himself in the process; all she was doing was deriving consolation by holding on to her vaLaiyal-s that He liked very much the last time He was with ANDAL, and now He has forcibly come into her house and taken away that also. She is asking these flowers whether this is justified, fair, decent, proper.

godai then looks at the cuckoos living in the grove, the peacocks, the beautiful kAkkaNam flowers, the fresh kaLAp pazhangaL (fruits) and the kAyAm flowers having fragrant smell and exquisitely pleasant hue. She is reminded of the dark, blue-hued kaNNan and so, she brands them the five great sinners. "Did you take this hue, which reminds me of emperumAN, just to slight me and torment me?"

paimpozhil vAzh kuyilgAL: "You live in the grove that I planted and you are making me suffer; also, you do not realize that if I die because of you, there is no one to take care of this grove for you. You are hurting yourself in this process".

vambak kaLanganigAL: birds like cuckoos and peacocks, which are permanent residents of the grove, are not the only ones troubling godai; the kaLAp pazhangaL (fruits) appearing only once in a while are also causing her grief.

aimperum pAtagargAL: brahmahatti (dosham resulting from killing a brahmin), surA pAnam (drinking alcoholic drinks), svarNastEyam (hoarding of gold), coveting others' wives, and gambling are considered the five great sins (pa'nca mahA pAtaka-s). She identifies five objects here, and even though they did not commit the five great sins, the fact that all five of them together committed the sin of killing her by reminding her of emperumAn, she calls them the aim perum pAtaka-s, or the five great pAtaka-s.

SrI PVP also uses the play of words beautifully in his vyAkhyAnam - bAdhakan and pAtakan. bAdhakan in samskRt means one who torments. A pAtaka in samskRt means a sinner. While bhagavAn is going all out in His act as a bAdhakan of ANDAL, these pa'nca mahApAtaka-s (five great sinners) are joining forces with Him to also be ANDAL's bAdhaka-s as well.

aNi mAlirum ... en SeyvadE: ANDAL pleads to these five beautiful things: "Oh peacock! You depend on me for your survival. Oh flowers! You are all like me in all ways - you are delicate like me, beautiful like me, etc. We are all His sesha-s. We have everything in common between us. Thus it is your duty to join forces with me and protect me; instead you are joining forces with my tormentor and torturing me. We are all His servants and He is our Master. As someone's servant, we all should be united with each other and defend ourselves; instead, your behavior is like some laborers trying to be on the side of their masters instead of siding their own kind.

SrI PVP also presents an alternate way of looking at this pASuram:

paim pozhil vAzh kuyilgAL etc.: "emperumAn is parama cEtanan. The cuckoos and peacocks are moving creatures endowed with brains (alpa cetana-s). The karuviLai, kaLangani and kAyAm flower are acetanas without a developed intellect. It looks like everything in this world, movable and immovable, has joined hands with Him to torment me. How can I, who am alone on the other side of these tormentors, survive this? There is one person who is separated from me, but there are several who have united together to torment me. Surely there is no way I can live through this".

niRam u'ngaLukku en SeivadE: If you claim that you took His hue because He gave it to you, you could have said "we do not want this color of yours". But it looks like you took His hue only to torment me.

EmperumAn is in His ninRa tirukkOlam in tirumAl irum Solai, with His beautiful red eyes which resemble the beautiful red lotus flowers, and with His color which resembles the dark water-laden clouds. The bees that set down on the flowers blooming in tirumAlirumSOlai, the beautiful ponds that abound in this kshetram, and the lotus flowers that blossom in the ponds, all remind godai of the hue and beauty of emperumAn's tirumEni. Suffering from this pain, she asks them : "will you tell me a refuge so that I can be relieved of this suffering?"

Instead of chiding the queens of flowers, godai now considers them as her friends now and decides to get their help. She requests the lotus flowers to help her, but they are busy conversing with the bees that keep surrounding them. So, godai ends up praising the pond and the honey-tasting bees also.

tu'ngam malar pozhil Suzh - For someone in ANDAL's position, who is suffering because of viraha tApam, this beautiful setting of nice, dense flowers is like walking into fire. When sItA pirATTi sees the trees full of flowers and fruits, she does not enjoy their beauty but instead suffers more by being reminded of Lord rAma naishA paSyati rAkshsyah nEmAn pushpa phaladrumAN ekasta hRdayA nUnam rAmaevAnupaSyati || (sundara. 16-25)

ANDAL looks at these flowers in tirumAl irum Solai and feels tormented as if she is seeing several rAkshasi-s. Se'ngatkarumugilin: the compassion in emperumAn's tiruvuLLam is reflected in His lotus eyes. But, to reach them, she needs to cross these gardens, and since she does not want to wait, this feels like crossing a fire for her.

vaNDina'ngAL: These bees are gathering in large numbers and enjoying themselves, while ANDAL is suffering in solitude. Shouldn't they be trying to relieve her solitude? togu pUm SunaigAL, Sunaiyil ta'ngu Sen-tAmaraigAL - The color of the waters reminds ANDAL of bhagavAn's tirumeni, and the beautiful red lotus flowers in the ponds reminds her of His divya-avayava-s.

enakku Or SaraN SARRuminE: In mahAbhArata war, dharmaputra requested bhIshma and droNa to reveal to him the means to kill them so that he can win the war. bhIshma tells him to bring SikhaNDi to the battlefield, in which case bhIshma will consider it below his dignity to fight with him and throw away his bow and arrow, and arjuna can seize that opportunity and aim his arrow at bhIshma. Similarly drONa tells him that if he ever hears the news that his son aSvattAma died, he will stop fighting. Here godai seems to ask these flowers and bees to tell her a way to live in peace and escape being tormented by them. For instance she is hoping they may tell her of a place where beautiful ponds, flowers and bees enjoying the nectar from these flowers don't exist. Maybe she can go there and not be tormented by them. The extent of godai's viraha tApam is so intense that she has to now seek help from the flowers, bees and ponds!