Actual events:

So, I headed down to my local place of employment, expecting to put in a couple of easy hours, and I find my assistant manager (the infamous Bill goes Crazy) there. He tells me the person who was supposed to be there quit, and I have to close. It sucked.

I was talking with some friends about mannerisms the other day, and it was weird... we're all slowly turning into our parents. And I talk with my hands a lot. What's up with that?

Stuff:

Why do people persist in thinking you have to come to a complete stop, and then hang around for a second looking dopey, before you make a right turn? Why is the incidence of this stupid behaviour so prevalent in people driving directly in front of me? It doesn't seem fair to the ol' Johnster here...

I love skewing survey results. You get some market researcher on the phone, and he's asking about coffee or something, and you say "I don't drink coffee", even though you do, and then he asks you about brand preference and you make up some name that sounds kinda foreign. And he asks about it, and you get real insulted and say "Geez, hasn't everyone heard of Tridessa? It's only the most popular coffee in Denmark... Hello! How dumb are you?" Yeah, that would be fun.

Opinions:

Everyone always says Paul was the "cute" Beatle, but I disagree. I think John had some kind of dark, poetic quality about him that would have driven me mad if I was a girl. And I'm not just saying that because we have the same name, I'm serious. Besides, I love glasses...

Who the hell goes to a press conference on a jet ski, wearing a wetsuit? I mean, come on, Stock... 600 years of dignity and decorum in the British parliamentary model is reduced to this?!!?.

Phobia:

Hereiophobia- Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation.

This is also known as "being over thirty"...

Person:

Dr. John Lee. Despite being dead, Dr. Lee is well worthy of the first person of the week slot in UJ's new run. His towering legend grows each day, and he lives on in the love for Chinese history he inspired in a dorky young commerce student who has blossomed into a slightly less dorky, slightly less young commerce student. On the first anniversary of his death this fall, UJ staffers will pour malt liquor on the ground in remembrance.

Lyric:

If I wasn't shy/I'd ask you, if you don't mind/To kiss you a hundred times - They Might be Giants

Thing to do:

Wear a nice shirt (like I'm doing as I type this). It makes you feel like a million bucks.

Quotes:

"I am no spring chicken." - Dr. John Lee

"I wonder what people are going to think about the new UJ?" - Mr. Adaquete

"Boo-urns, John, boo-urns." - Jacquelyn Walters