EDITOR'S NOTE FOR THE SUBTELTY IMPAIRED: The views expressed herein are solely those of... no one! I made up a fictional character to write this essay. Let me say this point blank: THIS IS A JOKE! Anyone still offended may feel free to fuck themselves.
We live in a society plagued by crime, pornography, explicit violence, and a severe lack of morality. Our schools have given up teaching the classics or sciences, settling for "Ebonics 101" courses and condom machines in the hallways. Some people talk about sex, openly and honestly... which is obviously an unhealthy thing to do. And an alarming number of poor people are trying to mingle with their economic, and therefore social betters. Other than the glaring lack of a death penalty, what can we blame for this general moral decline? That's right, dear readers... feminism.
Let's first look at one of the major crisises in our society - unemployment. This was no problem back in the golden years, before the bra-burning, free love having, chicken-headed feminazis, under the guise of the hippie movement (which I still contend was linked to the Soviets), decided that they too wanted jobs. Never mind that it states explicitly in the Bible that women should stay at home and cook roast pork all day! I'm not sure if that's the exact quote, but it's words to that effect... check somewhere near the back, I'm sure it's in there somewhere. Now, the bleeding hearts that run our country decided to make sure that women get jobs over deserving men, just to fill some quota they've set up in their Saskatchewan headquarters. Get this... women are trying to become doctors, engineers, construction workers, lawyers... and taking these male jobs away from more qualified men! Of course, these men are so demoralized that they fall into despair, into addiction and the like, and are forced to suckle from the tit of Mamma Government... which is exactly as the free spenders in Ottawa want it! What better way to justify scams like EI or Welfare? Imagine, giving handouts to the poor, just because they can't afford to eat - ludicrous!
Another massive problem plaguing our land is the backlog in the courts. Why is this? Because women keep bringing forward sexual harassment suits! I'd say, we have to point the finger not at the man, who is acting on biological desires alone and can not be held responsible... the onus is on you, ladies. If you go out in public, dressed in a revealing manner... what do you expect? You invite attention, and then accept it, and then spurn it after the fact? Believe me, in my day, no such thing happened. The average age for a woman to start having sex was 42, and only after she'd been married for 15 years. Now, any girl thinks they can run out, have a kid or three, and have the government pay for them... and those lousy spendaholics will! With _our_ hard earned tax dollars! I contribute a lot to this country, I created thousands of jobs at my factory! Sure, the factory is in Mexico, but I'm the boss and I'm a Canadian... in any event, I contribute my tax dollars to subsidize some unmarried teen mother, just because the welfare of a baby is at stake? Bah!
I could go on for hours. I usually do, in fact... I'm a neo-Conservative fuckwit, after all. It's what we do. But I'm afraid that pinko DeWolfe kid, who's letting me on his web site for balance, has limited me to four paragraphs. Sure, he can blab on all he wants with his Comrades about more taxes, free health care, abolition of private property, having those creepy group orgies I'm sure all liberals condone... but I only get four stinking paragraphs! But, in any event, I will close by saying this. Everything was better before women had the vote. Think about that.
