od was later getting back from his trip to the edge of the world than he figured, and he was tired and in a bad mood, because, I guess, he'd just had his first hint that things might not be going the way he expected. He had found the edge, but it was expanding so fast it was almost impossible to keep up with. "That was one hell of an explosion," he said in wonder. "No telling how big this thing is going to wind up being, and there don't seem to be any way even to slow it down, much less stop it. I guess I'm just going to have to let it run itself out."
He didn't ask me for a report, and I didn't offer one.
We went on home, and God cleaned up and changed clothes and after a good supper felt rested enough to go down to Eden and take his usual stroll in the cool of the evening.
"Now I wonder where Adam and the woman have got to," God said. "They're usually here as soon as we touch down with a thousand things to tell us. They're both just as cute as bugs, now ain't they? Adam! Where are you, Adam?"
Adam's head popped up out of the bushes.
"Adam?" God said. "What's the matter, boy? Is something wrong? Where's the woman? Come on out here, boy, and tell me about it."
"Can't," Adam said. "Got no clothes on. Naked as a jaybird is what I am."
God stopped still in his tracks. "Who told you you was naked?"
"Wait a minute," I said, because God's got right smart of a temper when things don't go just to suit him. "Give yourself a little time. Don't do anything you're going to regret."
"I already regret,' God said.
"Count to ten," I said. "No, being God you'd better make that a million." But his look was not so much anger, it was more like resignation, like when he had understood he couldn't stop the heavens from expanding. But that wasn't quite it either. It was as if he was sad and pleased all at the same time.
"You've done what I told you not to, haven't you?" God said to Adam, his voice dead calm. "You've et of the tree."
"It was that woman you give me," Adam said, laying part of the blame back on God, "she brought it to me," laying most of the rest on the woman, "and I et it," willing to take the smidgen that was left on hisself. It was a masterful performance, or shameful, depending on how you looked at it, and it made you wonder where he'd learned it, or if it was a part of his nature.
"Woman!" God said. Her head popped up out of the bushes next to Adam. "What is this you've done?"
"We didn't do anything, honest," she said. "We was just talking."
"We who?"
She switched over without missing a beat to Adam's excuse. "It was the Serpent. He fooled me."
"Serpent!" God said.
Here come old Serpent from behind a tree, looking worried because it wasn't anybody left to lay it on.
"Because you have done this thing, cursed are you of all my creatures. You're going to crawl around on your belly with your face in the dust all the days of your life. And there's going to be hatred between you and the woman and between your seed and hers. Wherever she sees you, she's going to stomp your head and you're going to bite her heel."
It was better than destroying him outright, but I thought it was way too drastic. And I knew all the creatures of Eden would miss him, he was such a handsome and likable sort, maybe a little too fond of the ladies, but he brought a lot of pleasure to the community.
"Now, woman," God said.
"Wait a minute," I interrupted, because I didn't want something just as bad to happen to her. "Are you mad because she et of the tree against your command? Well, you didn't tell her not to eat. The only one you told not to was Adam."
"Well, she knew. Somebody must have told her. I expect Adam did."
"Then she disobeyed Adam, not you."
"What about the fruit she give to Adam?"
"Did she hold him down and stuff it down his throat? Did she trick him, tell him it was a paw-paw or a pomegranny? Adam knew what he was doing, maybe more than she did when she et. And just bear in mind who it was that put that tree there in the first place."
"Who's side are you on anyway, Gabe?" God asked.
"Your side," I said, afraid I might have overstepped, "leastwise, I'm trying to be."
He nudged me reassuringly with his elbow and said, "Well, of course you are. Problem is, you may not always know just where my side is. But listen, Gabe, the deed is done and parceling out blame won't change anything."
Then he turned to the woman. "Here's how it's going to be. You've seen how the beasts of the field give birth. Well, now you're going to start giving birth, too, and you're going to find out it's not as easy as it looks. You're going to find out it's painful."
The woman looked relieved.
"Now, Adam, here's how it will be for you. You've been able to loll around in the garden here and just reach out and pick whatever you wanted and not hit a lick. Well, that's all over. From now on you're going to have to scratch a living out of the dirt, and you're going to have to fight weeds, because now there is going to be weeds and thorns and thistles and such. You will have to earn your living by the sweat of your brow all the days of your life. And then, Adam, you're going to die, die and return to dust from whence you come.
Then God turned to me and said, "You know what I've been describing, don't you Gabe?"
"Pain, weeds, hard work, death. Don't sound anything like Eden."
"That's right. We've got to put them out."
"But, why?"
"So they can grow," he said. "Be what they can be."
'What can they be?"
"Tell you the truth, Gabe, I don't know," God said. "But whatever it is, it won't happen in Eden. Here they had only one choice and they made it. Out there are millions to be made. Eden was safe, but it was mine. The Earth is risky, but it is theirs. A place to grow and, who knows, maybe even prevail."
Then God, speaking gently, said to Adam and the woman, "Now, come on out of the bushes." And when they did, we saw that they had sewed together some fig leaves for little aprons. It brought a lump to my throat, and God was touched, too.
"Good lord!" he said, "Fig leaves are about the scratchiest, itchiest things you could have found to use. I wouldn't wish that kind of torment on anybody."
So God made them aprons out of soft leather. And then he took them by the hand and led them to the edge of Eden and pointed them out to the east. We watched them out of sight, and then we headed home in sorrow.
On the way I begun to wonder if I understood the first thing about what was going on in God's mind. "I believe you wanted it to turn out this way," I said.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," God said
"I believe you nudged it in this direction."
"I put the tree in the middle of the garden, I admit it."
"And put the Serpent up to what he done."
"No. That was his own idea. I just didn't stop him."
"Why be so hard on him?"
"If he didn't go too far this time, he just might the next. And that would ruin things now that the woman is fertile. I'm taking no chances. I fixed it so it won't happen."
"What if they don't make it, Adam and the woman? In Eden all the beasts was gentle plant eaters. Now they'll be up against raging flesh eaters that would as soon tear you apart as look at you. They could be killed."
"Then we'd just have to make do without them," God said.
He looked around at all he had made and added, "But it would never be right, now would it, Gabe?"
