AND MORE JOKES!!! A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." His grandfather replies, "I'll bet you $5 you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he suffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy $5, grabs the hairspray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another $5. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me $5." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma!" A drunk was sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. she has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink!" She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and raises her arm again. The drunk sees her and yells to the bartender, "Get the ballerina another drink!" She gets her drink and goes away again. The bartender asks the drunk how he knows she is a ballerina when she was a stranger and had never been in the bar before. The drunk replies, "She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift her leg that high!" A middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude. It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any panties under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice cream, I'd eat every bite." Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it. The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted. the wife became hysterical and insisted on knowing why he didn't go down to the store and punch the rude salesman right in the nose. "Well, the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn't have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe full of them. Secondly, you have no business going shopping with no panties on. But most of all, I'm not going to punch anyone who's big enough to eat that much ice cream!" Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. the burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler 'Jesus'." Please read my DISCLAIMER Any comments please email me at: sweetcharlotte@hotmail.com Animations thanks to Animal Hut