Bytnar(s) Claim Boystowne 99

Myrtle Beach SC. In a surprise outcome, the pairing of Kevan and Greg Bytnar went on to claim the 7th annual event, played over several days in the sunshine of Myrtle Beach. Greg Bytnar claimed his 3rd championship and the elder Bytnar, Kevan, claimed his 2nd. Not only was the outcome a surprise, but due to the generosity of Mr. Handicap, the pairing was as well. Bob "Mr. Handicap" Long was to be originally paired with Greg, but a last minute switch paired the Bytnar boys together; that turned out to be fortuitous for the 1st place finishers but not a stroke of good luck for Bob, as he paired up with "The Smooth One" to claim 1st place from the bottom up. "We owe a great deal of gratitude to Bob for making this happen" said Greg Bytnar at the tourney closing. Kevan had no comment, as anything he says is taken out of context by Mr. Long, and will result in handicap arguments in the foreseeable future. "Of course, I was just glad to be a part of the proceedings" echoed the two time winner, "Bob or not."
    In order to finish above the rest of the talented field, the Bytnar boys had to outduel the somewhat spectacular team of Dale" I love the sunshine" Daniel and James "Like I'll ever have a handicap this high again" Baker. Of course the defending champs, Mike "What? Me worry?" Apsey and Mark "I'm a hockey player, not a golfer" Slominski, would also have something to say before the championship closed out, but nothing of note, as they faded and finished in the middle of the pack. Early clubhouse favorites (kinda like the Spice Girls) Marc "18 and 75" Ballard and Brian "Am I ever gonna win this thing?" Barco also put on a fine display of golfing prowess, but individual achievements pale in comparison when going up against team chemistry. They finished a respectable 3rd, in front of the hard charging and dynamic team of Eddie "Cartman" Sternberg and Jim "I can't believe millions of folks on the Internet can see me adjust myself" Vaughn. Of note, Skip " I am the master of the website, send ME your problems and concerns and I'll get right on it right away" Harrell and his partner, Rod "I ain't gonna make it next year cause I'm getting married" Mangrum did not finish 4th, a dubious accomplishment as Skip has finished 4th every year previously. Tremendous playing by David "I'm not with Otis this year" Bytnar led his team (with Mat "I'm still the all-time money leader" Martinides) to a 6th place finish, highest ever for the eldest statesmen of the Bytnar family. And we must mention Scot "I'll be mad if you don't" Bytnar, just because he had to overcome the partnership with the "Pukin one" to even finish with respectability and head held high (Surely to go down in Boystowne folklore as the lowpoint of the 20th century). And finally, if you took the team of Mr. Handicap and The Smooth One and 62 strokes, you still would have lost the ranch.