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Your "Tee shot" landed in the 
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Your "Tee shot" landed in the
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Exercise While Pregnant
A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle.
When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways
into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very
hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in
the temple and killed him.
He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and
said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?"
"Yes, I was," he replied.
St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?"
The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"
A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down,
measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
His partner says, "What's taking so long?"
The first guy says, "My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I
want to make a perfect shot."
His partner looks over to the clubhouse a moment, then turns
back to his friend and says,
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and
enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer,
he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off
to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says,"I've played
so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your
head down that long."
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot.
As he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system...
"Will the gentleman on the ladies tee please move back to the men's tee".
He looked up and then resumed addressing the ball again. The voice again...
"Will the man on the red tees move back to the white tees"!!
He looked back at the starters shack and said, "Will the man on the p.a.
please shut up... so that the man on the ladies tee can hit his second shot".
Top Ten things the Caddy Said...
10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth.
8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
AND the #1 best caddy comment
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the
Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the
women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how
to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't
hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand and asked..
.."Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
"Forget it...you'll never hit her from here."
| "Did ya know?"... The first Dallas golf course was layed out in a cow pasture, at Haskell Avenue and Keating Street, in 1896. |
a free drop
git outta the ruff
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