Yes, I know it says "JOKES" but I really don't feel like just copying jokes that I have seen on other pages and therefore I will add as I go along. If you have some jokes that you feel are "for the most part" original, and you would like me to add them, please MAILme.
Jesus Or Jack?
I worked in the pro shop at St. Ives, yes my favorite golf course, last summer. I went into work on what was a beautiful summer day at around noon. As usual, I checked out the "tee sheet" to see what kind of day we should expect, although I knew we would be busy. Upon looking at the "tee sheet" I noticed that there was a two-some and the names were Jesus and Jude. I thought to myself "No that couldn't be Jesus Christ and St. Jude, could it?" Well, even though I didn't think that it would be possible for us to be blessed with their presence, ON OUR GOLF COURSE for that matter, I figured it couldn't hurt to look. Since they already were out on the course, I went out to find which hole they were on. Once I found them, I just stopped and pretended to spot. There was somewhat of a resemblance, but I still was skeptical, wouldn't you be!?! They were on a 179 yard par 3, hole 13 if you want specifics. This hole has water in the front and behind it. The water in the front causes most of the problems. Although you only have to clear 30 yards of water, if the shot ends up short of the green, it is most likely that it will roll right back into the water. So, now that you know what the hole looks like, kinda, let me tell you what I saw. Jesus had the honors and walked up to the tee box with an eight iron. Jude said to him, "Jesus, you and I have been playing together for a long time and we both know that you don't hit your 8 iron 180 yards, don't you want your six iron?" Jesus replied, "No, would Jack Nicklaus use a six iron....I don't think so". So Jesus swung away, we all watched the ball's doom as it splashed into the pond. I noticed that the foursome behind this group, all members of St.Ives, had caught up and were waiting near the tee box behind them. With a grin on his face, Jude said "want your 6 iron now don't you?". Jesus quickly came back with, "Listen, if Jack Nicklaus can get there with an 8 iron, so can I!". Jesus prepared to take his mulligan while watching Jude hit a "soft" 5 iron within 15 feet of the pin. Once again, Jesus teed up his ball and this time he really went at it! The result was a "worm-burner" that rolled, kerplunk, right into the water! Jude couldn't barely hold his laughter in as he asked "Jesus, this is your last ball," as he threw it to him, "you better use your 6 iron this time." Jesus:"For the last time, if Ja..". "yeah, yeah, I know, go ahead use the 8 iron, it's not my score why should I care", replied Jude after cutting Jesus short. Meanwhile the foursome was getting a little restless. Jesus tees up his last ball, using the 8 iron of course, he hits a shot that looked like would make it. Everyone watched as the ball landed right in front of the green and rolled down the hill back into the water. Jesus was furious. He walked up to the water and did some kind of summon with his hands. The water split into two halves. The foursome was too upset to watch Jesus, rather they were going to Jude to complain. A man from the foursome began to gripe at Jude saying, "who does this guy think he is, Jesus Christ?". Jude replied "no, that's the problem, he thinks he's Jack Nicklaus!".
