Dead Baby Song Now before I start with my new song I’m warning you its really gross So if you’re easily disgusted ask me for a cleaner one Cause this one will offend you the most My mom says I have the worst case of ADD Because I never do what I’m told But I think it has more to do With the fact I’m only 6 years old I have something in my hands right now A dead baby to be exact I hit up against the wall a couple of times and it didn’t cry So when I say “dead baby” I’m sure it’s a fact Mom isn’t home yet so I cant go out and play So I’m using it to play basketball By throwing it in the wastebasket Mostly with bank shots off the wall I walk into the living room with it Thinking of what I could do Then I use it to play tug-of-war with my dog We are having lots of fun until we rip it in two Now I’m mad at my dog so I hit him with my half Until he drops the part that he tore away Then I find some needle and thread and try to sew it back together I’m just hoping that it will stay Oh no! My mom’s car just pulled in I’ve got to hide what I’ve done So I cram it and a leash inside my backpack Then leave and tell mom I’ll be back at one So I’m walking down my driveway Dragging the baby behind on the leash It’s getting pretty dusty but I really don’t care It don’t feel pain cause it’s already deceased I swing the leash over my head Making the baby fly ‘round and ‘round I let go of the leash and the baby smacks into a tree with a nasty cracking sound I get pretty bored so I toss the baby in a ditch Then come back to it later with a pointed rock Then I keep on walking with it while I poke at its eyes Until I spy a cinderblock I bring the baby to the woods In a nice secluded place Then drop the block above him It hits him square in the face I removed the block to find its head shattered Then I heard my mother calling So I left the baby in the woods and ran up to the house To find my sister bawling My mom said “Joey, I know what you’ve done And it doesn’t surprise me at all. You got bored so you went out and destroyed Your sister’s plastic baby doll” I admitted it immediately cause I knew I was caught And I paid the ten bucks to get a replacement I can’t wait for her to buy the next one cause I’m going to try out the tools in the basement