Father I despise your existence Even though it would mean the end of me I try to tell myself that I don’t mean that But it’s pointless to spit lies into the face of truth Just as I can’t smile on the inside unless I’m frowning on the outside I’m caught with the feeling that I’m being burned With fistfuls of sorrow I walk these muddy banks My untied laces getting stepped on I know I’m being trampled too Smoldered by all that I don’t understand It has to surround me every day My tired eyes and my weary feelings of perseverance Have finally welcomed darkness The fickle hand of fate is asking for my money So it can burn it with the same match that lit my soul My lack of knowing who I am makes me realize the absurdity That wishing is a vain attempt to be someone besides who you are the House of Cards falls right where they’re supposed to the clattering of plastic coating chimes the promise of death in unison one sentimental smile as I disobey my conscience and the law of never wanting to be forgotten I used cling to you and everything until I realized that my inability to concede loneliness was what kept me alive With my glass tears and my plaster smiles My processed thought and my echoed laughs Just beneath the skin you’ll find an empty cobweb Linking triumph and defeat with a single delicate strand A intricate marvel providing the ability to stop living And let my empty body lead the way into the void In your blindness to ensure that you will live on You disregard asking the basic question that perplexes me What makes you think that to live in misery is better than to not have lived at all With solemn disappointment and disbelief in your foolish dream I recoil at the reflection of your creation That impotent work that you call “son”