The Lefty Golfers Association

Welcome all to our official website.

For almost fifteen years now, our wonderful gang of lefties and hanger-on righties have been turning heads (and stomachs) all over Quebec, as one golfer after another tees it up from that glorious southpaw stance.

Now you too, can enjoy all the wild and weird antics of The Lefty Golfers Association, where the golf is both fun and competitive.

...AND HERE'S THE MONTHLY NEWS
March 23, 2007

LGA Brass Lazy, Ineffective, Golfers Simply Ineffective

Now that you have memorized the previous edition of The Monthly News, it having been posted on this space for about two years now, the hard-resting folks at the Lefty Golfers Association have decided that perhaps it is time for an update.

Now you may ask why, exactly, it has taken almost two years to bring loyal LGA fans up to speed.

Surely, you assure yourself, it cannot be because of rightie Costa Doinbiznis' stellar 2005 season, during which he won the Lefty Slam by taking all three major tournaments. Can the LGA really be that petty? Let's not explore that avenue, at least not here.

How things change! It doesn't seem that long ago that when we talked about Doinbiznis breaking 100, it was actually one hundred golf clubs.

It also does not seem likely that it is sour grapes over anything other righties, namely Fred Cupholders and Pietro Lewinsky have done.

And it can't possibly be due to any feelings of shame over the play of the lefthanders. The southpaws have proven their shamelessness a long time ago.

Yes, after exhausting all other probabilities we conclude that the delay was caused by a combination of procrastination and laziness, even though many would consider both traits as one and the same. Believe me, they're not. But then again, this space is supposed to be reserved for news, so I will try to keep things relevant.

Of course, every spring the feeble and distracted minds of the LGA turn to what really matters, golf, as yet another action packed season awaits.

And with every LGA season come the usual questions, with their seasonal variations, however limited.

Can Hale Erwin Norman repeat as LGA Player of The Year yet again? He managed the honours in 2006 despite only appearing in 12 events, a record for the Association.

They were obviously 12 good events. We wonder if he can hold off an emerging competition for another season without actually improving as a golfer. We also wonder whether Hale (Fairweather) Norman will appear in any LGA events prior to July 1st?

Can the two top righties, Costa Doinbiznis (2005 Player of The Year) and Fred Cupholders (perennial runner-up for that same award) return to the top of their respective games in '07? For 'The Biz', much depends on his ability to keep the ball in play, while for Cupholders, as much depends on his opponents' ability to keep the ball out of play.

Will Dr. Mario Blondin continue his descent into mediocrity? If the graph representing the doctor's seasonal scoring averages were instead a stock chart, it would seem a worthy investment, but we like our golf scores to go down, not up, so smart money predicts the unpredictable for Dr. Blondin.

Was Chris The 9-Iron Kid's 13 appearances in 2006 an aberration? Will 9-Iron score a birdie in '07? Which putter will he use this season? Will he buy golf shoes? Will he follow up on his penis enlargement surgery of several years back? With The 9-Iron Kid, can we confidently answer any of these questions?

Will Paul Hornsby III ever break 100 again? As of the end of last season it didn't seem so. Also, will 'Da Turd' ever learn to take his medicine? And will he ever get the message out to the ladies that the medicine we are referring to pertains to golf strategy?

Can Pietro Lewinsky defeat another veteran LGA lefty as he did on August 12, 2006? Hornsby sure hopes not. If not, how many years will it take for it to happen again? Can Lewinsky go 36 holes without an airball?

Stay tuned to these pages for the answers to these questions and more. Remember to be patient. If the Monthly News is not updated, refresh your browser or try again later. Actually catching an update this way will make you feel like a lottery winner. You may not be kept informed in the timeliest of manners, but you'll sleep well knowing your actions will improve the website's statistics.

The Month in Review

Click on a month for a brief summary of every LGA event

The Report Card

Click here for the latest stats, updated weekly

The Lefty Olympics of Golf

The Lefty Masters

The LGA's Lefty Olympics of Golf has been the 'big event' of every golf season.

Bellevue hosted the 2006 edition, which saw Hale Erwin Norman return to the gold medal rung of the podium with an easy five shot win over Dr. Mario Blondin and the rest of the small but enthusiastic nine nation field.

The 12th annual Lefty Olympics of Golf is scheduled for September 15, 2007, at a venue which is yet to be determined.

Click here to view past Olympic results

The year 2000 saw the inauguration of a second 'major' tournament for the LGA, the Lefty Masters, where our beloved lefties vie for the coveted Yellow Jacket.

Last year's event was dramatic once again, with Costa Doinbiznis donning the Jacket for a second straight year, equalling Dr. Mario Blondin's record of two consecutive Lefty Masters titles.

'The Biz' will be going for the three-peat on August 18th, 2007.

Click here to view past Masters results and photos

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Player Bios

Click here for biographies, photos and other facts about your favourite LGA heroes.

This site was last updated on April 22, 2009

Kolumnist's Korner

We were going to call it Kommunist Korner but some of the contributors golf from the right wing. Click here to enter Kolumnist's Korner