by Sister Bari (Crystal)
"Ratboy is Mine"M: Assistant Director Skinner? Sk: Yes Agent Mulder? M: Uhm, well.. I just wanted to talk to you about that double agent, uhm... you *know* his name.. Sk: Oh, I *know* his name... M: Well, i just thought I'd let you know, he's mine.. Sk: Uh-uh, he's *mine*.. (Spender, Tooms, Barry and Boggs appear in the background with microphones, they sing) He's strong, and oh so tough these guys can't get enough it may not be our biz but who's man is his? M: I thought you knew and understood but now I know you're just no good for you he simply is too fine Ratboy is mine. Sk: You know Mulder, I could just see you being a lil' bit jealous of me But don't forget, to stay employed just keep away from ol' Ratboy! M: Excuse me sir, you've got it wrong my love's been Krycek all along! What affection has he shown to you? Cause you need more lyrics for this song. Sk: Maybe you misunderstood That relationship would be no good What would the shippers start to say if you forgot to save Scully one day? (Spender, Tooms, Barry and Boggs) Ratboy is mine He's strong, and oh so tough these guys can't get enough it may not be our biz but who's man is his? Shippers threaten to go so we have got to know who was first to say "Ratboy is mine"? Sk: Must you act like such a twit? You know your crush on him is
What he'd see in you I just don't know I mean, it's just a show M: How could you say that bout this stuff? Slash-nuts can't get enough Besides, with Scully I'm appalled she won't return my calls. Sk: So you're a desperate lonely guy willing to give anything a try? Krycek is mine and that is all That guy can really be a doll.. M: The point is twisting out of shape besides, Friday we've got a date then everyone will see for sure Ratboy is mine! (Spender, Tooms, Barry and Boggs) He's strong, and oh so tough these guys can't get enough it may not be our biz but who's man is his? Shippers threaten to go so we have got to know who was first to say "Ratboy is mine"? M: You can't just trash the joy I've found stop pushing my true love around If you can't open some more doors the next fake arm is gonna be yours! Sk: Why don't we take this song outside? I'd love to take you for a ride It's *you* who's had a place in my heart since when I hired you in the start. (Mulder and Skinner walk outside to Skinner's car hand in hand lovingly) Barry: Ratboy is mine Now that they have given him up He's strong and oh-so tough I'll see you at the church Ratboy is mine! Tooms: Ratboy is *mine* *you'd* better give him up He's made of some good stuff Unless you want to deal with me Ratboy is mine. Spender: ::breaks up Tooms and Barry:: It seems that both of you are a bit confused! Alex K. loves me Ratboy is mine. (ALL) ::gestures to the other:: He's better give him up! (Tooms: "Not yours") (ALL:) This has gone far enough! (Barry: "Not yours!") (ALL:) UNless you want to deal with me (Spender: "Not yours!") Ratboy is mine. Shippers threaten to go so we have got to know oh, this is such a chore... (Mulder and Skinner drive off down the road together and call back over the their shoulders:) Ratboy is YOURS! Back to top ^
"Corn"Mulder, don't you know when to quit? The X-Files are gone, your quest is closed and that's the end of it. To practice on my own I'll try But "no" you say, "It's enough! we've gotta get more involved with stuff!" I'm all outta stregnth just stung by a bee It hurts and I've passed out lying unconcious on the floor. Don't be an idiot those med's are gonna take me... damn that corn. Mulder, can't you ever end this plight? If I were in an ER you'd still think you were right Follow your instincts tonight. Up to a snowy place, I've been sent it sucks, they've never heard of cable or the internet. On an evil type of plan they're set. I can't believe, of all the luck, (but who really gives a
?) I'm all outta stregnth just stung by a bee It hurts and I've passed out lying unconcious on the floor. Don't be an idiot those med's are gonna take me... damn corn. I feel like I'm ready to cry conspiracys and killer bee's is a bit to buy I hate my life! Stupid freggin' CORN! I'm all outta stregnth just stung by a bee It hurts and I've passed out lying unconcious on the floor. Don't be an idiot those med's are gonna take me... damn that corn. Damn corn... Back to top ^
"Plea of the Paranoid Agent" ("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy")Scully, come with me and autopsy you shall see such strange things my reason to believe. These happenings aren't pho-ny real x-files tombs' bile wasn't there simply to deceive. I know you're quite the skeptic but take a look it's not a book of ol' set-ups these things they are for real. So just you trust me (maybe lust me) and hope that we make Skinner's appeal! Mulder have you lost it all these cases are absurd! You're paranoid, untrusting and you're friends are all just nerds! I simply cannot stand it! Steal taxes like a bandit! On the truth you have not landed! A madman! A madman! (chimes) Scully, don't be cross it's not my fault they've blocked my paths CSM laughs he finds it all funny! But these investigations aren't insane not a game it's so plain we don't waste money! If you leave it's over gone and done no more fun for Scully and poor Mulder too So Dana don't go Some kindness please show You know inside I'm in love with you! Back to top ^
"Can't Carry On Alone"Scully, what would I give to keep you near to me, How happy that would make me, We've grown too close, you see. If only you could stay by my side forever, That snap in your smile, so clever, Scully, can't you tell I love you, You supply my pleasure. I owe you everything and Dana, you owe me nothing Scully, don't go, cause I can't carry on alone. I don't think I ever could but pursue the career, you should But Scully please don't go cause I can't carry on alone. If I quit now they win For that we've come too far But it won't be the same without you It wouldn't ever be the same. Always seemed we'd be together forever I never thought you'd leave me, so May this moment never end, oh never I owe you everything and Dana, you owe me nothing Scully, don't go, cause I can't carry on alone. I don't think I ever could but pursue the career, you should But Scully please don't go cause I can't carry on alone. How much I wish to hold you How I dream for one last kiss Any little sign will do While we stand one last time, like this Shall I admit it, this last time Couldn't face the world without you, How I wish you could be mine, Obey your heart, so true I owe you everything and Dana, you owe me nothing Scully, don't go, cause I can't carry on alone. I don't think I ever could but pursue the career, you should But Scully please don't go cause I can't carry on alone. I owe you everything and Dana, you owe me nothing Scully, don't go, cause I can't carry on alone. I don't think I ever could but pursue the career, you should But Scully please don't go cause I can't carry on alone. I owe you everything, Dana, you owe me nothing but I can't carry on alone Back to top ^
"Come On Scully" (to Zoot Suit Riot by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies)"Scully babe I'm on my knees, cause this case we've got to seize" "Model's gonna strike again, the next victim? Yes I am" "You know I tried o catch him but I couldn't run enough" "But we'd best be careful, when Pusher comes to shove" "Come on Scully... Skinner's gonna blow a fuse "come on Scully... I think our welcome's overused "Come on Scully... Skinner's gonna blow a fuse "come on Scully... I think our welcome's overused "What to look for? Here's a clue:" "A victim drowned in cerelean blue" "Perhaps a fox hunt's all he wants" "Cause he said so in a chinese font" "Scully keep away" "The stakes are just too high" "If you make him angry" "You'll be the next to die" "Come on Scully... Skinner's gonna blow a fuse "come on Scully... I think our welcome's overused "Come on Scully... Skinner's gonna blow a fuse "come on Scully... I think our welcome's overused "Find the Truth" ("Tears of Pearls" by Savage Garden) She taught in Virginia and he had a degree a spookyish obsession and knew psychology. Could they try... to find the truth? Could they do it? Oh, could they do it? She'd been sent to debunk, (he wasted tax money). For it seemed Fox Mulder was barking up a tree. Could they try... to find the truth? Such unlikely partners, they had different thoughts and different views. Para-norm-al events, what a strange assignment he did choose! Their first case was a weird one so different and so rare, overly exposed bodies an M.E. who wasn't there. Could they try... to find the truth? Well it took some time but Scully could see something was amiss but she still refused to spiral down the unexplained abyss. Could they try... to find the truth? Such unlikely partners, they had different thoughts and different views. Para-norm-al events, what a strange assignment he did choose! They've searched since then and always will but the bad guys won't sit still. What will they find? One can't forsee But he's yet to make a believer out of she. Such unlikely partners, they had different thoughts and different views. Para-norm-al events, what a strange assignment he did choose! Such unlikely partners, they had different thoughts and different views. Para-norm-al events, what a strange assignment he did choose! Back to top ^
("Maria") "Fox Mulder"Krycek: A man just strolled cross the living room floor, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder... How I yearn to be slammed up and against that door, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder... Fox Mulder! In love with a man named Fox Mulder And this guy might just try to get me Fox Mulder! That wonderful big-nosed Fox Mulder! A hunk so paranoid he just must be enjoyed by me Fox Mulder That Scully babe won't dare come near us, for we know, now, who is held dear to us. Fox Mulder! I'll never stop loving Fox Mulder! The most beautiful name the world's ever heard! Fox Mulder! Back to top ^
"Glowin' Like the Sun" ("Walkin' On the Sun")It aint no joke I'd like to buy the world an isotope, cause then maybe we could live in peace and harmony, because we'd all be seen (we'd all be glowin' green) but if you grow an extra limb don't you come cryin' to me! Order this very hour to get some nuclear power it's just some atom stuff but man, we can't get enough! You'll never trip in the night your skin'll glow like a light So would you listen to me.. convert! Radioactivity It may be true, the green stuff has got it's troubles, but imagine with this energy, the things that could be! We would not be duelin' over fossil fuelin', and it's friendly oozing glow is so much nicer to see! So hey there kid! Tell your Mom to change her mind today, (even though we might pollute, we can save a tree!) And soon the world'll behold the atom's awesome power If you dial us up right now then the delivery's free. Order this very hour to get some nuclear power it's just some atom stuff but man, we can't get enough! You'll never trip in the night your skin'll glow like a light So would you listen to me.. convert! Radioactivity Back to top ^
GREASE Filk!! Goes to "Greased Lighting" "The Lone Gunmen"Mulder: Go Lone Gunmen, hackin' into secret files... Go Lone Gunmen, computer programming in style.. Yeh if you need a blood analysis then you know where to turn But you will be in trouble if their true ID's are learned 'Cause in the Thinker's mighty brain revenge would start to turn The Lone Gunmen! (Byers, Frohike and Langley in the background: Hack hack hack-- hackhackhackhackhackhackhackhack!) Go Lone Gunmen, we owe some eppy's saved to you.. Gotta love Langley, Byers, and even little Frohike too... They really aren't that geeky, simply misunderstood, (how nerdy can you be when you are hackin' in the hood?) But never fear dear Scully they won't do more harm then good The Lone Gunmen (Gunmen Gunmen Gunmen) (Gunmen Gunmen Gunmen....) ALL: Gunmeeeeeeeen!!!!! Back to top ^
"NoRoMo World" ("Ray Of Light" by Madonna)Watchin' the TV at night I wonder Do the philes realize The rumors they've begun. Mulder and Scully on the screen and people seem to think there's something but the kiss was never done. It's not real! The shippers are all wrong-- it's not real! It's not real! "Lean on Me"'s just a song It's not reeeeeeal! And suddenly I'm at my screen and trying, trying to remember how the rumors all began. They're unestablished whispers in the shadows, there's nothin' there between them, she didn't just take his hand!! It's not real! The shippers are all wrong-- it's not real! It's not real! "Lean on Me"'s just a song It's not reeeeeeal! You know it'sa NoRoMo world, You know it'sa NoRoMo world, You know it'sa NoRoMo world.... Watchin' the TV at night I wonder Do the philes realize The rumors they've begun. Mulder and Scully on the screen and people seem to think there's something but the kiss was never done. It's not real! It's a NoRoMo world- I know it, There's an absence of passion there, After all these years... There's nothing there, there's nothing there, There's nothing there, there's nothing there, There's nothing there, there's nothing there. It's not real It's not real It's not real "Lean On Me"'s just a song, It's not real! You know it'sa NoRoMo world, I'm crying You know it'sa NoRoMo world, I'm crying... Back to top ^
"Scully D" (To 'Sandra Dee' from GREASE)Look at me, I'm Scully D, With theories of psychology, I'm rather dull, cause I'm too skeptical Watch out! I'm Scully D! Mulder! Keep that nose at bay I was not brought up that way If you try that on me you'll get autopsied just 'cause I'm Scully D! I won't believe, or achieve, any theories that may, spoil my field report. Keep your dirty looks from my tailored suit... you think I'm easy, 'cause I'm short?! As for Krycek's little taunts, I know what *he* really wants. Back to thebureau school if they both start to drool... screw you. I'm Scully D. Back to top ^
"Shipper Lovin'"Mulder: (To Krycek, CSM, Skinner and Frohike) Shipper lovin'! Had me a blast! Scully: (To Marita, Missy, Ester and Diana) Shipper lovin'! Happened so fast! Mulder: I finally got somewhere with Scull-y! Scully: This time I didn't get stung by a bee! Mulder and Scully: Shippy days, driftin' away but-- oh those sh-hip-py nights! Boys: Wella wella wella humph! Krycek: Tell me more, tell me more, did the NoRoMo's scream? Girls: Tell me more! Tell me more! Missy: Was he as good as he seems? All: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huuuh! Uh-yhuh, uh-huh yeaaah! Mulder: We were on case chasin' after E.T.'s! Scully: He said he lost his motel-room key.. Mulder: Couldn't resist my ma-an-ly looks! Scully: Musta lost it in those files and books.. Mulder and Scully: Shippy dreams were strange, so it seemed, but.. oh! Those Sh-hip-py nights! Girls: Wella wella wella huh! Diana: Tell me more! Tell me more! What's your favorite trait? Boys: Tell me more! Tell me more! Frohike: Will she go on a date? (music slows) Scully: I was abducted... we had to stop.. Mulder: Had to clean her nosebleed with a mooop.. Scully: But the philes shall never forget.. Mulder: It seems Chris Carter had NoRoMo plans set. Mulder and Scully: Shipper days, drift right awaaaaay... but, oh! Those sh-hip-pyyyy n i i i i i- h i i i g h t s ! ! ! Back to top ^
Skeptic(Scully:) A brilliant mind and clever style, I saved old Fox once and a while. But with his theories I won't agree those crazy ideas just aint for me "It's a joke, it is a trick" cause I was born to be a skeptic! With a microscope in hand I grew Knew how to autopsy since I was two. A tom-boy gal I might have been I used to shoot at cans with all the kin. To work with Mulder I was picked Cause I was born to be a skeptic! (The cast sings:) Born to be a skeptic, Scully! Born to be a skeptic, Scully! Now do the autopsy.. now do the autopsy.. now do the autopsy.. (Scully:) ::calls::Mulder! Mulder! Mulder! Mulder!!! (Cast:) You're such a skeptic, Scully! You're such a skeptic, Scully! Scully.... Scully.... Scully.... born to skeptisize, oh yeah!
"The Search For the Truth" ("The Battle of Jericho")The search for the truth is on the X-Files, X-Files, X-Files, The search for the truth is on the X-Files, and the Syndacite will come down. The search for the truth is on the X-Files, X-Files, X-Files, The search for the truth is on the X-Files, and the Syndacite will come down. Up to the walls of the bureau lab, they march with clues in hand. "I'll perform the autopsy!" Scully cries "And run some more tests on this saaand!" Oooo.. The search for the truth is on the X-Files, X-Files, X-Files, The search for the truth is on the X-Files, and the Syndacite will come down. Th-en Mulder starts a search of his own, stunning evidence is found. They're running out of time, they'd better hurry this up before another body hits the ground Altos: It hits the ground! The search for the, search for the, search for the truth is on the X-Files... The se-arch for the truth is on the X-Files and the Syndacite... will come.... doooooooown!! Back to top ^
"This" (to "Grease", MSR Filk)They were two agents with some different sights, They had... differences, seemed no opinion was right. But as they worked on cases near and far, started to understand the kind of people they are. This was the way... Their love was there but they would still deny, but it was there each time, you saw it in their eyes. She was professional, he wasn't for real, and yet that same old pull, they both were starting to feel. This was the way.. They had mood, they had meaning. This-- it was there, every step that they took, This was the way they were feeling. One night I guess it came to be too much, Couldn't resist the gaze, couldn't resist the touch. When they'd admitted, after coming so far, The shippers all rejoiced, they'd realized who they are. This was the way.. They had mood, they had meaning. This-- it was there, every step that they took, This was the way they were feeling. This was the way.. was the way.. was the way.. was the way.. Back to top ^