LinkStur News

It was a welcomed change to play Spring Hollow in ideal weather conditions for golf (hat’s off to the scheduling committee). In the previous two years this course marked the start of the LinkStur’s golf season with temperatures in the low 60’s and bone chilling wind on the higher elevations of the course. The accommodations at Spring Hollow were first class and the staff was friendly and courteous. In spite of this being the 4^th of July holiday weekend, thirteen LinkStur’s teed it up to contest two matches in the A Division and three matches in the B Division. A difficult decision weighed heavily on the broad shoulders of Bob Welc as to how to assign the foursomes. Judiciously Bob chose the conventional A/B pairing for the first foursome Bob Perks v. Tom Dush and Bryan Baquer v. Roy Craig. The second foursome would include Vince Caliguiri v. Steve Margetich and Max McHenry v. Mike Brychcy. Doug Perks, Bob Welc and Mike Fuller, who would be posting scores, were teamed up in the third group and Herman Ellzy v. Ron Jones would be bringing up the rear.

Playing Through!!

The start at the 1^st hole was rather uneventful with few shots finding the center cut of the fairway. There was no one in back of the last group and the LinkStur’s made there way through the course at a pace lending itself to the tensions of match play and ‘lost balls’. The pace of play began to wear on the twosome in the final group by the fourth hole as things began to get backed up at the difficult par 3. Finally, in a fit of frustration, Herman (who must have had a ‘hot’ date) and Ron (who was going to have to wait for Max anyway) decided to break with tradition and utter those infamous words, ‘Playing Through!’. Needless to say the greetings they received were not too complementary owing to the fact that everyone had the suspicion that this was going to be a loonnnng day.

Did anyone see Herman’s 7 Iron

By the time Herman and Ron made the turn for the back nine they were well in advance of the first group and making record time. As Herman surveyed his approach to the 14^th green he chose his trusty 7 iron. After a mighty swing of the club, an unfamiliar ‘twang’ was heard with two objects rising gracefully in the air with a low trajectory and gently entering the pond which guards the 14^th green. Ron could be heard in the background exclaiming, ‘What the #$%&# was that?’, whereupon Herman who was about to damage the earth with the club that he thought had let him down noticed, to his chagrin, that the head was missing. Was this the result of an overused club that had finally succumb to one too many contacts with the ground or had the fast place of the play not allowed it to recover from its previous use. A third, ever more sinister answer could be that someone had invaded Herman’s golf bag before the match and filed down enough of the shaft near the hozzle to cause it to prematurely fail. The funny thing about it is that Herman actually ended up paring the hole!

Did Anyone See Mike’s Ball

Although Spring Hollow is a relatively open course there are a few holes that an errant shot can find the woods or the tall grass. Unfortunately for Mike Brychcy he was the benefactor of this Spring Hollow hospitality a few times on the front nine causing him to be understandably a little skeptical on the landing area for some his shots on the back nine. When searching for some of his tee shots close to the tree lines he would assume that his ball was out of play. This was his reaction to his tee shot on the treacherous 16^th hole which goes downhill over the tree lined creek to a landing area 200 yards away leading to an uphill approach shot to the green 120 yards away. Mike would make an outstanding shot over the trees which found a home a few feet to the right of the fairway in the short rough. When inquiring of Vince as to where his shot landed he assumed the worse and thought Vince had said “in the trees” instead of “over the trees”. As Steve and Vince approached their balls in the fairway they thought nothing of Mike and Max rummaging through the trees by the creek. Growing impatient they made their approach shots to the green and shouted to Max and Mike that this was not a good time to shag balls in the creek with two foursomes waiting to tee off. Mike indicated that they were looking for his errant shot and was surprised to find out that he was safely over and near the fairway. With everyone safely on the green, Bob Welc, in the foursome behind, approached the green. Vince took this to mean that he was trying to rush him which resulted in Vince four putting and keeping Steve in the match for another hole. Things would deteriorate on the 17^th tee as Vince was still infuriated with Bob’s arrogance while Mike, still in his cart, began jumping up and down uncontrollably, claiming that he had just been bitten on the hand by a tarantula with Max sitting in the golf cart muttering “huh!”. But the best was yet to come.

Riot on the 18^th

As the foursome of Steve, Vince, Mike and Max made their tee shots to the Par three 18^th hole (closest to the pin hole) the foursome of Bob Welc, Ron Jones (joined them on the 15^th) Doug Perks and Mike Fuller had just finished the 17^th. Since they were the last of the LinkStur foursomes and their was an impatient foursome behind them, Steve invited them to tee off with the hope of speeding up play (Badddd Move!!). With Tom Dushch, Bob Perks Brian Backur and Roy Craig as spectators down by the hole the last foursome made their approach shots and it appeared (sun was in our eyes!) that no one had made the green. As the eight players approached the green and one by one located their balls it appeared that a ‘cold one’ was only minutes away. Unfortunately Mike Brychcy had trouble locating his ball, which from the tee appeared to have landed short of the green. It must have looked like a circus to the foursome on the tee with eight thirsty LinkStur’s fumbling around looking for Mike’s ball. Finally in disbelief Tom left his comfortable resting spot and beer from behind the green to inquire what all the commotion was about. When told that they were looking for Mike’s ball he pointed to the green and the lonely ball approximately 15 feet from the hole. Yes, that’s right, Mike’s shot had found its way on the green and he would be the surprising recipient of closest to the pin money. Unfortunately the by this time Vince had finally succumb to the pressures of the day and he began shaking uncontrollably muttering something about “sardines”. Dr. Steve prescribed a few cold ones to help take the edge off and that he would spring for the first round (huh! quick someone get a picture of that).

Drinks Are On Me!!

Ahh!, isn’t it wonderful how the taste of the golden nectar can make everything seem wonderful again. Back on the patio as everyone exchanged their war stories, Vince was in the corner trying to pour himself a glass of beer. Unfortunately he was still shaking so bad it would take him a few minutes and he ended up getting half of it on himself. When he was done pouring, he rested the ‘full’ glass on the table and exited to the washroom to clean himself off. In the meantime, Mike Brychcy entered the patio and sat next to Steve. Mike inquired about the full glass of beer on the table and Steve (the devil made him do it) told him that Vince had personally poured it for Mike. Two sips later Vince re-entered the patio and was AGHAST to find Mike sitting there enjoying the beer that had taken him five minutes and a good golf shirt to pour. After being physically restrained Vince was calmed down with a fresh glass of beer and the promise of ‘sardines’ afterwards (What is it with Vince and these sardines?).

Is That Your Natural Hair

While everyone was sharing their outside interests Roy Craig was overheard asking Mike Fuller if he would remove his cap. Mike, not knowing what to make of this, hesitantly complied. Roy respectfully pointed out that Mike was approaching the early stages of ‘male pattern baldness’ and he began to explain the physiology of what was happening. As it turns out Roy is starting a business venture (seriously) to restore hair loss through a procedure to re-stimulate the blood flow in the scalp. He is currently waiting for the equipment, on order, to be delivered. Roy explained the treatment as having to do with lasers and attaching probes to certain parts of the body and that it was essentially pain free. When asked if he might be interested, Mike respectfully replied that he “would have to ask his wife!” Aw, go on Mike, Steve even offered to donate some of his follicles to start you off (friends like that are hard to find).

A Division Matchups

B Division Matchups

Doug and Steve 1.5 p

Closest to the Pin Winners

(Spring Hollow)

Front Nine: (hole#8) Bryan Baquer

Back Nine: (hole#18) Mike Brychcy

Sandbagger of the Week

Handicaps/Pairings at Spring Hollow

1^st Group

Roy C. (25) vs. Bryan B. (13)

Tom D. (36) vs. Bob P. (27)

2^nd Group

Vince C. (31) vs. Steve M. (33)

Max M. (30) vs. Mike B. (36)

3^rd Group

Dick B. (16) vs. Doug P. (23)

Bob W. (19) vs. Roman H. (25)

4^th Group

Herman E. (14) vs. Ron J. (18)

Mike F. (36) vs. Kevin S. (27)

Closest to the Pin Holes at Willowbrook

Front Nine: Hole #

Back Nine: Hole #

Remember: next gameday is July 15th, at Willowbrook in New Jersey. Be ready to tee off at 9:45am. Call the course at (609)-461-0131 if you require directions.

Volume 3, Issue 6 July 15, 2000