In what has been described as the most thrilling event yet in the long and distinguished history of the EPOB Australia Day Weekend

WESTY AND HANGERS 2003 WINNERS

In what has been described as the most thrilling event yet in the long and distinguished history of the EPOB Australia Day Weekend Golf Classic, John "Spacecake" Western and Damian "Hangers" Hancock birdied the last two holes to snatch a memorable (for some) one stroke victory. With Maughany and Morgs safely in the club house at a respectable 2 over par 72 and Westys' cake starting to kick in things mustn't have looked too good for the longshots. But showing the fighting qualities of true EPOB champions they dug deep and were able to produce the goods. Perhaps the only person more disappointed in the win than Maughany and Morgs was Butch, who managed to get cleaned out in a betting plunge.

This year we had a record number of players, 30 in all, with quite a few blokes Teeing up for the first time. All would agree that it was a great day and the extra numbers add to the fun. Thanks to Butch for the hours of work and hundreds of phone calls he made to organize the day-pity he played shithouse and finished 2nd last. (Three practice rounds in the last week will do that to you)

The form guide was abit off with Westy and Hangers originally quoted near the back of the field, backing themselves to win. They broke the bank and Hangers in particular had great joy in relieving Butch of the bulge in his pocket. The rest pretty much playing as expected with Maughany & Morgs, Rocky & Pudu, Milo & Alby and Blakers and Bainy all putting up good performances. The surprise packets apart from the winners was probably Arch and Crossy who weren't expected to finish as highly as they did. In a fight for the NAGA, Tommy & Spiro, edged out Butch & Rosey on a count back

SCORECARDS

PRIZE WINNERS

1st: J. Western & D. Hancock

2nd: A. Maughan & J. Morgan

3rd: P. Miller & A. Smith (I think, I didn't get a card)

NAGA: T. Williams & S. Mallis

2nd Hole Closest to the pin: M. Clape

3rd Hole Longest drive: C. Pyke

10th Hole Closest 2nd shot: R. Dennis

11th Hole Closest to the pin: S. Modica

18th Hole Longest drive: G. Hawkins

THE AFTER MATCH

After a bit of a hurry up from the pro shop staff at the 19th, quite a few boys headed off to the races at Ascot with free tickets care of Rocky. There was abit of punting without much luck and plenty of beers on the bar. (I think the bookies at the races did quite abit better than Spiro and Butch did at the golf). A good time was had by all and a number kicked on to the Queens afterwards to continue the talk about the game and relive a few old memories. Yours truly was collecting a few quotes from the boys to add to the write up, but for some reason most of them are an unreadable scrawl? Stumps were drawn at closing time although we did hear Rosie buttered up and got home from the Casino at 9am Sunday morning-$300 richer. (he has already confirmed his spot for next year!)

WHAT THEY SAID

A few comments and stories have come to light from various sources, but I seem to have missed most this year.

Butch- "I thought Rosie could play until he told me just before Tee off that he had a practice round the day before and did OK. He scored 115!"

Shawry- "Hoops is a shocking driver-he almost killed me in the buggy"

Blakers- "Bainy was disappointing"

Westy- "Can you hurry up with the write up, I want to find out who won!"

Besty- "I found Westy asleep in the car park 5 minutes after the trophy presentation"

Hawkeye- "Barts is a soft cock!"

Crossy- "He didn't cheat" and "I wasn't there just to make up the numbers"

Westy- "Playing with Arch and Crossy was like playing with an old gay couple. All those high fives and pats on the bum, it was enough to make you sick."

Arch- "The other bloke played well"(reference to Hangers, in the same foursome after 18 holes together)

Butch- "After 4 or 5 holes I had given up. I thought I'd drawn another Westy"

Delbo- no quote-he left too soon afterwards to talk to the press.

Tommy- "I was hopeless and Spiro was worse."

Ado Dohnt- "This isn't funny guys-last year Franco, this year George, Whats going on?"

Vic- "Thanks for the game gentlemen"

Morgs- "Hoops isn't fucking afraid of anyone on the footy field, but that little white cunt of a ball had him shit frightened"

Hangers- "Who was the A grader and who was the C grader?"-reference to Pudu and Rocky( a view held by a few!)

All quotes are supposedly to have been said at some stage to someone and no responsibility is taken for any untrue, unsaid or inaccurately reported comments. If you have a few more sledges I can always add them to the list.