You know you're really broke when... American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln. Long distance companies don't call you to switch anymore. Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. Your bologna has no first name. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice. McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments. At communion you go back for seconds. You wash your toilet paper. You have to save up to be poor. You're in college. You owe yourself money. Your imaginary friend has more money than you.