The Moguls Get Lost

The founding members of Team S&M were aboard Rommel cruising the I-10 freeway on their way to yet another wilderness adventure. They were heading east somewhere in the vicinity of Cucamonga, (yes that is a real place), when Sir Conrad mentioned that he had a somewhat urgent need for a 'pit stop'. As was the norm for this sort of operation, a significant quantity of ceremonial libation had been sacrificed to the Gods of Team S&M and it was time for some portion thereof to be returned to Mother Earth. Upon hearing this, the other half of the team, who is sometimes referred to as "Billy Ray Bob, the Man of a Thousand Bladders" for his ability to retain liquid, replied, "What! Again? O.K., O.K., look for a suitable establishment."

Just then Sir Picklebutt noticed a huge garish neon monster (a beacon in the wilderness, metaphorically speaking). An icon denoting the very embodiment of post-WWII industrial American recreational development, a Mecca of blue collar amusement. The sign proudly read:

BIG EDDIE'S BOWL-A-RAMA

Sensing an adventure opportunity, the boys pulled off the freeway, parked in the near-empty lot and entered the facility. Since they had to walk past the bar to get to the toilet anyway, they stopped for a drink. The bar maid had definitely not finished in the top of her high school class, but she did recognize that the boys seemed a little out of place, and inquired as to what their business was.

Without hesitation Sir Jackson responded, "I'm glad you asked, because.... we're lost. You see, we're movie producers, here from out of town, and we're suppose to be in, ah, ... Oxnard for a very important meeting. (Now for those of you who are not familiar with the geography of Southern California, Oxnard is 100 kilometers west of Hollywood, and Cucamonga is about 80 kilometers east of Hollywood.

At this point, Sir Picklebutt chimed in with a dissertation on their flight into LAX on the Concorde supersonic transport. The fact that the Concorde has never serviced LAX did not deter the co-founder from going into great detail, describing the flight conditions and high level of service provided by the cabin crew, particularly to out-of-town traveling movie producers. Sir Jackson then picked up the story, describing how confusing LA freeways seemed for visitors, particularly out-of-town movie producer visitors, and how they came to end up at this particular bowling alley's watering hole.

The bar maid, sensing a possible part in the movie the boys must be making, was more then willing to help the boys find that gosh-darn Oxnard place. So... after 10 or 12 free drinks ("hey, put those wallets away, boys, it's on the house... so any parts in your movie for a gal like me?"), and an enthusiastic if not well informed lesson on map reading, the boys departed, indicating their thanks, and affirming their promise of a speaking part in the next blockbuster movie they made.

Staggering back to Rommel, the founders were quite pleased with themselves, for they had once again contributed to local lore, reaffirmed the "Team S&M effect", and of course, scammed a bucketload of free drinks. Just another day for Mssrs. Jackson and Picklebutt.