Russian Pizza Roulette

A step-by-step guide...

1. Take one Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum pistol.
2. Smoke at least 4 expensive Cuban cigars to create proper room atmosphere.
3. Add large mirror; place in the center of the floor and cover with white powder.
4. Use American Express Platinum credit card to draw the powder into neat lines.
5. Scatter $10,000 in cash around the floor.
6. Have 2 serious men with bandanas tied around their heads sit in the center of the floor, facing each other.
7. Shut off all interior lighting, except for a bank of spotlights over the 2 serious men.
8. Position one blonde fashion model (dressed in a thong bikini) near the front door.
9. Call a delivery pizza place; order one large with everything. While you're at it, torture the poor sap on the phone.
10. Wait 30 minutes (or it's free...).
11. When 16 year old pimply-faced delivery boy arrives, have model open the door wide, smile seductively, take pizza from him, and ask the serious men (oblivious to the front door activity) for pizza money.
12. As delivery boy stands frozen in shock at the spectacle in the smoke-filled room, one of the men grabs the revolver, spins it's cylinder randomly, and places the barrel against his head, pulling the trigger.
13. Repeat as necessary to relieve the symptoms of stress and boredom.