(Monkees are sitting around in their pad;Mike picks up the Want Ads) Mike:Hey fellas, you know we really need jobs ! Micky:(with his head in fridge;pulls out some milk) I see what you mean !! This milk is from last year ! Davy:(takes a sip )Hey not bad, so what's all this about jobs ! Micky:We need one that's all... Peter:Haven't we already had our share of jobs ? I mean over the years we have been toy factory people, shipmates, farmers, cooks, waiters, boxers, circus people, phone operators, dance instructors, women, throne salesmen, and musicians, now it's time to be men !! Mike:Peter, that was deep and all, but when were we throne salesmen ?? Peter:Remember episode 1 ?? We tried to sell that throne to The Duchess' Uncle Otto ? Micky:Yeah, I remember that ! But when were we women ?? Peter:Oh a countless number of times !! Davy:Amen !! Mike,Micky, and Peter:Davy ?? *shudder shudder* Davy:Hey, but when were we musicians ?? Mike:Davy, only you would ask a dumb question like that.. Micky:Hey ! Here's something ! "Get Paid ! Get Elvified !! Come down to Graceland for a good paying job and free room and board !!" Mike:Woah..that IS good !! What do you think, Peter ? Peter:(playing with string cheese)Cheeeeeeeese to the rescue !! Davy:Peter, that song is for Kraft Cheese ! Peter:Oh..sorry !(picks up a pack of Kraft Singles)Cheeeeeese... Mike:Well, c'mon fellas ! We gotta pack ! We hafta get to Graceland before someone else takes that job !! Narrator:So the Monkees packed and packed and packed and packed...oh they take too long ! Let's sing a song ! Two girls for every boy !!!! Okay, I think they're done ! GET ON WITH IT !! Mike:Isn't wierd how we are here all of a sudden ? I mean how did we get to Graceland all the way from CA ? I mean.. Narrator:And then the Monkees took their Monkee Mobile and drove to the airport and they got on a plane and it took them to Graceland where they got off and were chauffered to the Graceland home of the late Elvis. There, is that good enough for ya ? And to think I get paid minimum wage.. Micky:Oh shut up ! We don't even get paid !! Peter:Look guys ! It's Elvis !! Michelle:Where ?!?!?! Peter:I thought you were Elvis... Michelle:No, I'm not Elvis,my name's Michelle...Mr Michelle Presly. I am Elvis' long lost sixteenth cousin, twice removed. Micky:Oh, so you knew Elvis ? Michelle:Not at all, I just take care of this here house,er Graceland. Mike:Well, we're here in reply to your want ad..the elvis one. Michelle:The Elvis one ?? Oh yeah THAT one ! So which one of you want to be Elvis ? Davy:Be Elvis ? I thought we were gonna get to MEET Elvis ! Mike:Davy, Elvis is dead... Davy:Oh my GOD !! I've got to call mother ! Peter:Davy, your mother is dead too.. Davy:Oh yeah ! Now I remember ! And so is Lennon, and Hendrix, and Joplin,and Mama Cass, and Elton John.. Micky:Davy...how many times must I tell you, I didn't kill Elton John YET ! Michelle:Uhh..why don't you boys, come inside ?? Narrator:So..the boys went in side. Micky:Hey..I thought I told you to get lost ! Narrator:No you didn't ! Micky:Ok, I will....GET LOST !!! Michelle:Boys boys, and Davy...please sit down ! Narrator:S- Micky:Don't even think about it... Michelle:Well, let me get right down to the point. Mike:See that you do. Michelle:Uhh..ok, i will. I need an Elvis impersonator...{Mike,Davy, and Peter get up and head towards the door..} Mike:Hey, I'm no Elvis !! Micky:Well, what's your price ? Michelle:500 hundred an hour. Peter:{running back over to Michelle}I'm all shook up !! Mmm mmm hey hey ! Michelle:Don't even try it kid..I've made up my mind. This young man{pointing to Micky}is gonna be my new Elvis !! Micky:WOOHOO !!! Mike:Hey, Michelle..well we're Micky's friends and we need money too..do you have anymore jobs ?? Michelle:Well, you could be his butler..but you'll get paid 50 dollars less than Elvis. Mike:WOOHOO !!! Peter: I want a job !! Michelle:You can be his..uh..dog ? Peter:Yipee !!{drops to the floor}Woof woof ! Davy:Hello ?? Down here ! I need a job too ! Michelle:Oh..well, oh yes you ! I almost forgot ! You will be Priscilla.. Davy:PRISCILLA ?!?! Michelle:With a pay check of 1500 dollars an hour ! Davy:I wanna be a supermodel...
~ The Next Day ~
Michelle:Okay guys..today's our first show ! Are we all dressed and ready to go ? Micky:{walking out of dressing room with a large elvis wig and a shiny sequin jumpsuit}Ready as I'll ever be.. Peter:{crawling out of his dressing room}I'm ready ! I mean..woof woof ! Mike:{sarcastically}Oh Elvis, at your service.. Michelle:But where's Davy..er Priscilla ??!! Davy:{walks out of his dressing room dressed in a fur coat over a go go dress with a Diana Ross wig}Stop, in the name of love... Mike:Davy, you're Priscilla Presley, not Diana Ross. Michelle:Enough please ! Micky ! Get on stage now !!{pushes Micky on stage} Micky:Hi..I'm Elvis..{looks at the crowd and sees an audience of old ladies staring back at him} Old Lady1:Take it all off, Elvis !! Micky:Uhh...uh uh..let me sing you a song !{starts to sing "Hound Dog"} Old Lady2:Shut up !! Sing a Brady Bunch song !! Micky:You ain't nothin but a hound dog... Audience: BOOO !!! BOO !! Micky:Uh...let's bring out my puppy, Piggy, and my lovely friend, er wife, Davy !! I mean, Priscilla ! Davy:{comes out carrying Peter}Hi ! Hi eveyrone ! I'm Priscilla ! Hi baby !!{kisses Micky} Micky:EWW !! I mean Ohhh..{whispering to Davy}Look man, you can't kiss me. Davy:No, you look ! I'm gettin paid 1500 an hour ! I wanna get a tip or something... Micky:I'm the one who needs a tip !!{talking to crowd}Uhh..so what song should I sing next ?? Old Lady1:Uh..a good one ?? Micky:Ok.{starts singing "All Shook Up"} Old Lady2:She meant something good ! Like a Monkee song or something ! Micky:A Monkee song ??!?!?! That's easy enough !{starts singing "Goin Down". Crowd goes wild } Peter:WAIT !!{jumps out of Davy's arms} Wait a minute..do any of you actually like Elvis ?? Various crowd members:Well..no, not really.. Peter:Ok, just asking. Go on with the song Micky...er er..Elvis !! Micky:Ok, I will..{keeps singing Monkee songs} Narrator:{hiding from Micky}And then the cieling caved in, and the REAL Elvis came falling down onto the stage.. Micky:Narrator..wait till I find you !!! Davy:It's Elvis ! It's Elvis !! Elvis:Woah Priscilla..what happened to ya ? Davy:I'm not Priscilla ! I'm Davy Jones ! Elvis:You are ?? That's a relief..I thought you were Priscilla on crack or something..anyways what's goin on ? Micky:For some reason I think we should be asking YOU that question.. Elvis:Look...there was a little mix-up. God said I was really supposed to go to hell, and that he had made a mistake way back when...he'll let me back in soon though.Lennon always does that to me ! Davy:So that's why you're always spotted on earth ?!?! Elvis:Well..I guess Earth is just a pit stop. Peter:Wow ! You've been to heaven and hell, Elvis you ARE my hero ! Elvis:Thank you, thank you very much.. Micky:Look, Elvis, I really need you to finish this show. You can do a better Elvis than I can... Elvis:Really ? You think so ? I guess I will do the show then ! Micky:Thanks man ! Elvis:So what shall we do first ?? Old Lady1:Hound Dog !! Old Lady2:All Shook Up !! Elvis:Okay..{starts singing;crowd goes wild} Mike:How does he DO that ?!?! Micky:I myself am deeply jealous.. Peter:Let's go home ! I'll make Cream Of Root Beer !! Davy:YIPEE !! My favorite !! Mike:Oh no..Peter not again ! Narrator:{stepping out from behind the curtain where he was hiding}And so the boys went home and lived happily ever after. The End !! Micky:{creeping up behind narrator;grabs him and smashes a pie in his face}GOTCHA !!
And now back to skits !!
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