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Let's take a look at the world of Jesse.
These pictures are of my and my family. A bunch of handsome guys, huh? My mom cooks really good food and buys a bunch of snacks for us kids, can you tell?
This is my girlfriend. I know that the picture is a little indecent but I told her that she was so sexy she had to show the whole world. I love you Jesyca!
I'm thinking about working as a lifeguard next year, do you think the speedo looks good? I don't know if I look as good as Wyatt does, but, then again, who does?
The doctors keep trying to figure out what's wrong with me and give me gimmick weight loss programs like this belt. I didn't lose any weight, but man, I tell ya, if you put that thing between your legs and let it vibrate, it's better than sex...
Well, I've been working hard, and I'm down to a lean 353 lbs. I finally weigh less than Jared, and I'm proud to say that my belly is smaller and firmer than its ever been. I'm thinking about starring in stag films now, except my penis is only 3 inches long. Oh well.
Well, now that you've seen how physically fat, I mean fit, I've become, you can go ahead and walk up to me in school and yell, "Hey Fatass!" and I won't mind, because I know it's not true. In fact, feel free to yell "Bacon Strips!" while you're at it. That would make me feel warm inside.
LINKS
The best thing to come along since deep frying was discovered: RECIPE OF THE DAY. I must be in heaven.
Click on the fat, hairy belly to read about how two people tried to gain 30 lbs in 30 days. I think that I could show these two amateurs how it's done, but you can decide for yourself.
See what Wyatt's been up to at Hamline!
