PHILOSOPHIES

 *  If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that
    you tried.
 *  A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
 *  Experience is something you don't get until just after you 
    need it.
 *  For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
 *  He who hesitates is probably right.
 *  Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
 *  No one is listening until you make a mistake.
 *  Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
 *  The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is 
    required on it.
 *  The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness 
    of the bread.
 *  The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
 *  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
    many is research.
 *  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise
    above your principles.
 *  Two wrongs are only the beginning.
 *  Work is accomplished by those employees who have not 
    reached their level of incompetence.
 *  The problem with the gene pool is that there is no 
    lifeguard.
 *  Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
 *  The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to
    catch up.
 *  The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an
    approaching train.