It came to me one night that with all the tailoring of excercise routines to fit into people's lifestyles, no one has yet done the same for goths. What I present below is not guaranteed to take off pounds*, in fact, it's not guaranteed to do anything, although hopefully it will make even the mopiest of you chuckle.
GothRobics are exercises to help you live your gothic life better, at least physically. If you get health benefits from them, even better. . .
| EXERCISE | REQUIRES |
| HOW | WHY |
| telephone book stepups | telephone book or one of those step things taking off your boots |
| In stocking feet, stand with one foot on the edge of a telephone book (one of the large ones). Step up onto that foot and stand for a moment on the ball of your foot. Place the other foot back on the floor. Repeat a few times then switch feet. | The goal of this exercise is to strengthen your feet and get them used to that high heel stance |
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| port de bras | holding up your arms |
| If you don't know, you've never been to a goth club. Endurance for 3-hour makeup application. | |
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| toe touches | no one standing behind you |
| Bend at the waist. Try to make hand to toe contact without bending your knees. Hum "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.' | Any dance that requires you to clutch your middle and bend over like you're dying; lacing your own knee-high boots while standing; retrieval of objects that fall to the floor at clubs and concerts. |
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You know the drill. Check w/a physician or real medical person before you change your physical activity level. I'm neither a doctor nor do I play one on tv; I accept no responsibility for your injuries. This page is merely supposed to be humourous.
(c)2000 Jennifer Wilson