Kristin

Kristin knew when she woke, today would be the day she would die. She had been making the decision for more than a week, and today would be the day. She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Now that the decision had been made, she was at peace with herself. She had no life to speak of and nothing in front of her but darkness and uncertainty. She was tired and saw no point in struggling any longer. The pain from her migraine's was becoming unbearable and she saw no end to it.

She had been on her own a long time. She had never found anyone who she trusted to help her or care for her. She didn't believe the Christian view of heaven or hell so felt when she closed her eyes in death, they would remain closed forever. No more pain, no more loneliness, just the sweet blackness of nothing.

She had been preparing herself for today, making sure she had taken care of any little things that would be important after she was gone. She had not seen her parents for more than six years, but she wanted them to at least know she was dead so she wrote down their address on a sheet of paper. No note or anything. She hadn't been able to talk to them while she was alive why should she try when she was dead. They would not have to worry any longer about her, if they in fact did at all. She worried about her little sister though, who would no longer be little. She was only eight when she left but now would be going on fourteen. A tough age for a kid. She wrote things to her and put them in an envelope and sealed it. She hoped her parents would permit her the right of reading it in private. A right she never had. She could only hope her leaving had helped her sis and not made them worse.

Time was short, she would not allow herself to go back and relive all the things that made her leave. She had wasted enough time there already. She had no one close to her that needed to be notified. Only acquaintances at work, no friends. She was sure they would be shocked and wonder why. She lived her life quietly and kept her pain to herself. She just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

The room she rented had nothing of value in it. Her books her only real possessions. She had money for very little but allowed herself the luxury of books. She could loose herself in books. But lately she didn't enjoy reading and she went from one day to the next with nothing to fill her mind. Only a small voice asking her what was the point. When she started thinking about it she realized there was none. To any of it.

She would never have a nice home with a picket fence and kids running in the yard. A caring husband who came home from work and asked what was for dinner. She didn't think that was what she wanted even if she had the chance. She never had any dreams in front of her so she had no hope. Her life had no meaning and she felt she had no value so she wanted to just fall asleep and not wake up.

She wanted to watch one last sunset and then she would cut. She sat in her chair by the window and wondered why she wasn't crying. She had a kind of peace that surrounded her and she felt it must mean this was the right thing to do.

The day turned into evening and the sun set was full of those incredible colors no one but nature could paint. She smiled as the sun's last rays disappeared over the horizon. It was time.

She made sure the letter to her sis was in plain view and she crawled up onto her bed. She felt the bathtub would have been less messy for whoever would find her but she knew as her blood drained she would be cold and she hated to be cold. She would wrap up in her blanket and wait for her eyes to close for the last time.

She sat up in her bed and drew her knees up to her. She hoped the cuts wouldn't be too painful. But she knew if they were, it would be the last pain she ever felt. She hoped and prayed it wouldn't make her vomit. There was nothing worse. Sometimes the pain from her headaches made her throw up and she hated that worse than anything. So as she put the knife to her wrist she steeled herself against the painful rush hitting her stomach, but it was over quickly. She had made sure the knife was sharp. The second cut took alittle longer, her hand not working as well now but she managed to make the second cut and as she looked down at her life flowing away from her she still felt only peace.

She knew by the long cut she made that it would not take long. She hadn't made a small cut across her wrist but had opened up her arm from her wrist up about six inches. She watched as the blood pumped from her each time her heart took a beat. She pulled her blanket up against her and closed her eyes and waited.

She was falling asleep when she heard someone saying her name softly. She knew she would get disoriented before she was done and this voice was so soft, so comforting, she knew it was only in her mind. The voice said only her name over and over until finally she opened her eyes and there was a young man standing in front of her. She drew back at first, afraid, but he reached out and touched her face gently and told her not to fear him. She didn't believe in angels or demons either one but wondered if he had been sent to help her die. His voice was so calming to her she was not afraid any longer and closed her eyes.

He spoke softly to her and she felt his voice rather than heard it. He spoke inside her mind and told her who he was. " I was an angel to some, demon to others. I have been known by many names, over many years but my birth name given to me, was Michael. I don't want you to die Kristin. I want to give you a life free of pain and loneliness." She tried to ask him how he knew of her life but only a whisper came from her lips now. He told her, " I knew of your life as soon as I touched you. I had been drawn to your blood from outside. The scent very strong indeed from such a large amount being spilled. I know of your pain and your years of being alone. I know how long you took to make your decision and how you planned, but I am asking you not to give up, but stay." She vaguely felt him licking her wounds. She knew all this was in her mind and that the end must be close. She had expected it to take longer but she was obviously delusional. She was in her room, talking to a handsome stranger who was licking the blood from her cuts. How bizarre. What strange tricks your mind can play.

He spoke her name louder now and willed her to open her eyes and look at him. She hadn't the strength to do so but he told her again, more firmly to open them. She opened them slightly and saw this dark handsome stranger did indeed have her blood on his lips. She couldn't say anything outloud but he seemed to answer her as the thoughts formed.

"Yes Kristin I am real and I am asking you not to will yourself to die. Stay here with me, allow me to care for you. I don't know why I am asking this, I have existed alone for many years. Maybe I was also drawn by your loneliness as I too have become lonely. Stay with me. You must say yes."

Kristin smiled as she thought of having someone to care for her. She was sure this was her minds way of ending her life pleasantly, but she whispered 'yes'. As she drifted off further toward her death she felt very strange sensations. Her arms, which she no longer felt, seemed to come alive again as Michael sucked what was left of her blood. The feeling was more intense than when he had licked her wounds. It was pleasantly painful. Very strange.

She heard his voice willing her to drink. She could no longer open her eyes but she felt his skin touch her lips and she opened her mouth. The taste was very odd, thick and warm. It was like trying to swallow honey at first. She gagged as she tried to make her throat work. His voice telling her she had to drink. When she finally was able to swallow, she slowly felt his blood fill her. She felt it as it flowed through her and warmed her. She reached up and held his arm to her mouth as she continued to drink. She felt his hands touching her face and caressing her hair. She could think of no more pleasurable way to die.

When she next heard Michael's voice, it was telling her to open her eyes. She knew she had to be dead by now. Were the stories her parents forced on her as a child true? Where there angels and demons? Was she going to open her eyes and be in heaven or hell? She was suddenly afraid. She didn't want to be anywhere. That was not part of her plan. She wanted to be simply gone, ended. No other existence to deal with. Michael gently pleaded with her to open her eyes. "Kristin look at me. You're not in heaven or hell. We never left your room. Look, look around you."

Kristin slowly let her eyes open. She was in her room. It was still dark but she could make out Michael's features. He was as she dreamed him.He was quite handsome and his dark features blended with the darkness that surrounded them. He seemed young like her and yet he had said...wait what had happened just now. "I don't understand." was all she could whisper.

"I am not a dream, I am real. Here touch me again." He took her hand in his and put it to his face. "You see, I am real. I found you as your life's blood flowed from you and I asked you to stay with me."

"But I dreamed such strange things. You drank my blood and I drank yours." She held up her arms in front of her face and gasped as she saw not even a scar on her arms. "But I cut myself. I felt the knife go in. I don't understand Michael, tell me what has happened."

"You did cut yourself Kristin. You were on the edge of death when I found you. And yes I did drink from you, and you from me, and now we are one. I have much to tell you and you have much to learn from me. You did not die and yet you are no longer alive. Not in the sense that you were before. Your life as you knew it is over. You will have no more pain. I will teach you and you will become strong. I told you these things as you were dying and I will tell them again so you are not afraid. If, when I am done, you no longer feel as you did when you drank from me, then I will end your life, painlessly, as you planned. I will not ask you to stay with me if you do not wish it to be so."

"As I have told you, my name is Michael. I have been known by other names but Michael is what I prefer. I have lived for, how shall I say, more than a lifetime. I live on the blood of humans, as will you.I find many strays among the streets of the city and more than enough cruel, evil ones to make it almost pleasant to drain them of their lifes blood. We will get around much better during the night. The sun cannot kill you, but it will make you considerably weaker. Holy water and crosses and the like cannot harm you either. Oh you run the small risk of coming across someone with en extraordinary faith in what they are holding, but they will not be able to place a crucifix against your forehead and have it burn the image into your skin. Only in the movies." Michael laughed.

"If you still want to go with me, I have a place where I stay, right outside the city. I want to take you there. All you have to do is tell me yes and we will be there as soon as you are strong enough to walk. I will feed you once again if you are ready. Give me an answer and either way, tonight it will be so. I believe as you, there is no heaven or hell. There are no demons waiting to stab you with pitchforks nor are there angels waiting to give you wings. I have seen too much suffering and injustice in my life to believe there is a God. In the same sense there are too many evil, wicked people here on earth, there is no need for a hell to house them. Just look around you, we're already in hell. So if you choose to die I believe you will go into the silent darkness and never open your eyes again. But I do so hope you will stay with me, let me teach you, care for you. "With that said, Michael took Kristin's hands and waited for her reply.

"You tell me I am no longer alive, and yet I am not dead. My body will not decay and rot but I am no longer alive. I didn't feel alive before. I had no life. Why will this be different? You tell me I will have no pain, my head will no longer feel like it is trying to break apart into pieces? But I will have to drink the blood of others to sustain me. Do I have to drink from them until they die? OK Michael, is any of this real or am I simply into another stage of delusion as I lay dying? Am I still lying on my bed, my blood flowing onto the sheets? You, just a pleasant figment of my imagination? " Kristin sat looking at her wrists, her wrists that showed no sign of the cuts she had made.

"No Kristin, I am real. We are here in your room. I shared my blood with you and we can now share our lives if you so choose. I was drawn here by your blood. You had spilled a great deal of it and the scent was very strong. I came here to drink from you, but then I touched you. I was drawn to you and I cannot fully explain why. You may drink only a small amount for your nourishment but you will have to learn how much and how often. You cannot drink from the same victim more then once if you do not drain them. We do not want others like us running around unsupervised. We survive because our numbers are small. We are cautious and do not bring attention to ourselves. It is easy to mask ourselves in the many clubs and nightlife that surrounds us now. I can show you so many things Kristin. I can make your life worth living. If you allow me, I can show you pleasures and make your body feel things you only dreamed as a mortal. Every nerve, every cell will come alive at my touch. Let me teach you Kristin, let me show you what it feels like to truly be alive."

Kristin had looked up into his eyes as he talked. She saw many things there. Not all of them she understood, but she saw no deceit in his eyes and that is what she had searched for. She knew she trusted him when he finished speaking and so she smiled at him and said yes.

Michael smiled at her and he gently kissed her as he cut into his wrist and placed it to her lips. She had no trouble drinking this time and he allowed her to drink until she was filled. He closed his eyes as the painful pleasure it gave him increased as she drank. His head was back and his lips slightly parted when she stopped. She slowly licked his wound when she was done and it caused him to moan deeply. He opened his eyes and looked down at her with such fiery passion in his eyes. Kristin reached her wrist up to his lips and moaned softly as he took her hand and slowly licked her palm, down to her wrist and gently bit. The feeling was unlike anything she had ever imagined. So many sensations were running through her, she felt she would pass out from the intense pleasure of it. He only drank alittle and then slowly moved his mouth up to kiss her. His hands moving over her as their kissed deepened. Their blood mixed together as their tongues sought out each other. It was if she could feel his pleasure as well as her own and it heightened her passion to a greater level. She knew she couldn't withstand the ecstasy she was experiencing and yet they had only begun. She felt as if every nerve had moved to the very edge of her skin, every muscle, every organ had taken on a life all unto itself. His kisses moved across her neck and down over her shoulders. He touched every inch of her skin with his lips, his tongue. Making her cry out as her pleasure continued to build. His hands moved expertly over her body. She had never felt anything like this before. Time stood still and it seemed to last forever. He kissed her breasts, setting them on fire. Each nipple aching for his mouth to stay and suck gently. Playfully biting and nibbling on each one as she cried out his name. She had his long dark hair in her hands, trying to keep him in one place or the other but he moved at will bringing her closer and closer to the edge. His tongue trailed down across her stomach, as his hands gently moved her legs farther open to receive him. His tongue moving across each hip and down her thigh, moving back up the inside of her thigh, teasing her. When at last his tongue settle on her bud, she no longer could say his name, only moans from deep inside her escaped. She knew as a mortal woman, she could never have withstood this much pleasure. Her heart felt like it would burst. He slowly brought her to a mind shattering orgasm. She could form no thoughts or words, only wave after wave washed over her until she could withstand it no longer and lost consciousness.

She was gently prodded awake by Michael's soft voice bringing her back to her senses. He whispered to her and brought her back to him with soothing touches and thoughts. She opened her eyes and knew from the look in his eyes, that he too had been allowed to share her rapture. That was so incredible to her. She whispered his name and he hushed her with kisses.

He moved over her and gently entered her for the first time. He moved slowly at first trying to make their pleasure last as long as he could. They settled into each other and lost themselves as it became impossible to distinquish which pleasure was felt by who. Their ecstasy building as they moved in a rhythm that allowed them together to reach a place never attained before by either. Each one experiencing the others orgasm as they endured the intensity until such a time that it became impossible to hold back their release. It seemed to go on forever. Time had no place anymore for them. Neither of them could speak, they whispered softly inside each other and just allowed the silence to take them off to sleep.

When Kristin opened her eyes again, she had her head on Michael's chest. She looked up into his face and watched him sleep. She hoped she could learn things that would bring him to the same levels of passion he had taken her to. She knew she now had time to learn many things. She smiled as she thought of the life that lay before her. When he woke they would go to his home and begin their life together. She had never before had dreams in front of her, lighting the way. It gave her hope as she laid her head back down and closed her eyes.