UNDER MAL'S BED--A QUICK GUIDE TO PARADISE
(aka, how to keep mal and stef happy at all times)
Maybe this should be in the form of a FAQ?
All right, ladies and Family Members...a short and sweet list of Rules...if these Rules are followed at all times, mayhaps the Gatekeepers could be persuaded to allow entrance to the Sacred Kingdom. Chocolate is allowed to be used as a bribe. Also PWPs. Most especially PWPs.
1) Holy Ground we ain't. Especially after what we get up to under there. No sanctuary, no quarter. It is a benevolent dictatorship run by Mal, Lady of Insanity and Child of Mayhem, Chaos, and Destruction. My lovely wife did not get these titles by attending high teas, get the picture? 2) No surprise visitation. You must request to come under or borrow anything from under the bed. And no peeking! Louis is very shy. The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for the rest of us. 3) Perhaps should be considered an exception to rule #1. Mal is willing to provide sanctuary for certain favorites who tend to get beaten on more than the rest. (For example: Blair, Tom Paris, Harry Kim. MINOR CAVEAT: No Richie. No Wesley. They're on their own, baby.) But use this privilege wisely. Think about it. Do you want Mal and Stef playing with your favorite toy?
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