2. Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.

3. You've ever used lard in bed.

4. Your home has more miles on it than your car.

5. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.

6. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

7. You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper high quality entertainment.

8. Fewer than half of your cars run.

9. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

10. The primary color of your car is "bondo."

11. You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

12. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

13. Your family tree doesn't fork.

14. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

15. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.

16. Duct tape is an integral part of your car.

17. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

18. The best way to keep things cold is to leave 'em in the shade.

19. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

20. Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

21. You have refused to watch the Academy Awarads since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

22. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

23. The rear tires on your car at at least twice as wide as the front ones.

24. Your consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

25. You prominentaly display a gift you bought at Graceland.

26. You use the term "over yonder" more than once a month.

27. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."

28. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.

29. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

30. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

31. You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia boss.

32. The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, shithead?"

33. You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are the major food groups.

34. You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.

35. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy", "Hey", or "How y'all doin'". (If they respond with the same, they're a redneck too.)

36. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

37. Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

38. You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

39. You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

40. You've been too drunk to fish.

41. You've had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

42. You've ever used a weedeater indoors.

43. You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run.)

44. You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet "Ms. Right".

45. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

46. Your richest relative invited you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels and skirt.

47. You've ever financed a tattoo.

48. Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.

49. You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.

50. You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

51. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

52. Someone asks to see your ID an you show them your belt buckle.

53. Your Junior/Senior Prom had daycare.

54. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".

55. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

56. Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

57. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

58. You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

59. Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.

60. You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

61. Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

62. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

63. You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

64. You had to scratch your sister's name out of the message "for a good time call..." because you felt guilty about putting it there.

65. Redman sends you a Christmas card.

66. You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

67. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

68. Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

69. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

70. You have started a petition to change the national anthem to "Georgia on my Mind."

71. You call your boss "Buddy" on a regular basis.

72. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

73. You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

74. You need one more hold punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

75. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

76. After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.

77. Your biggest fashion risk is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H fair.

78. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in the front yard.

79. Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an lookit this afore I flush it."

80. Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator.

81. You mow your lawn and find a car.

82. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes (if you own them) and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

83. You go Christmas shopping for you mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

84. You are still holding onto Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

85. You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

86. You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

87. Your participate in the "who can spit tobacco farthest" contest.

88. You roll your hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

89. Your consider a three piece suit to be a pair of overalls, a plaid shirt, and thermal underwear.

90. There is a sheet hanging in your closet and gun rack hanging in your truck.

91. You think the mountain men in "Deliverance" were "misunderstood."

92. You've ever made change in the offering plate.

93. If the fifth grad is referred to as "your senior year."

94. You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and your left arm below the shirt sleeve.

95. You own at least 20 baseball caps.

96. You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball cap.

97. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

98. When you run out of gas, you put moonshine in the gas tank.

99. Your biggest ambition in life is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round out yonder, back a Bubba's barn."

100. Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

101. When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

102. Your have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that is!

103. Your gene pool doesn't have a deep end.

104. "Honey, are the lights out? Is the door locked? Is the parking brake set?" is what you hear right before you and the wife make love.

105. Your huntin' dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

106. You'd rather catch bass than get some.

107. You have a Hefty bag for a car convertable top.

108. Your belt buckle weights more than three pounds.

109. You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.

110. You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.

111. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

112. You have been to a funeral where there were more pickups than cars.

113. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

114. You just bought an 8-track player for your car.

116. There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

117. The theme song to your high school prom was "Friends in Low Places."

118. It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

119. You think that John Deere Green, Ford blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

120. You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

121. Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby."

122. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.

123. The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

124. Yer ma calls ya over to help because she has a flat tire ... on her house.

125. The ASPCA raids your kitchen.

126. You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get grandma a new plug of tobacco.

127. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle.

128. You can't get married to yer sweetheart because there's a law against it!

129. You celebrate groundhog day (because you believe in it.)

130. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

131. You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something.

132. A sign that says "Say No To Crack" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

133. You have to move more than one old mattress out of your front yard to get your new car up on its blocks.

134. Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

135. You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.

136. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

137. "Buck Naked Line Dancing" isn't a videotape, it's Ladies Night at the local bar.

138. Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

139. You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

140. You're always moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You."

141. Dolly Parton reminds you of the Grand Tetons.

142. You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

143. Your momma would rather go to the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

144. Your dawg rides in the cab of your pickup and your wife rides in the back.

145. The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection. (Your insurance man is one too if he pays you for it.)

146. You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.

147. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

148. You've ever hit a deer with your car ... on purpose.

149. Your can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

150. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

151. You've ever parked a Camaro in a tree.

152. Exxon and Conoco have offered your royalties for your hair.

153. Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

154. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

155. Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

156. On your job application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible."

157. During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

158. You're a lite beer drinker because you start drinking when it gets light.

159. On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

160. Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open Up: Police!"

161. You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

162. In tough situations you ask yourself "What would Curly do?"

163. Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

164. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines," or "Play Ball!"

165. Your child's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

166. Your wife's best pair of shoes are steel-toe Red Wings.

167. You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

168. You bring your dog to work with you.