I was raised, yes, that's right, raised...not reared, not brought up, but raised, in Mississippi.
As a girl being raised in the South, I was taught the finer points of being a lady. I was told to act like a "little lady" from my earliest memories. I had to sit with my knees together, ankles crossed. I was not allowed to act up in public, because it wasn't ladylike. I wore white shoes and carried a white purse only after Easter and before Memorial Day. Wearing white other than those times was the height of uncouth. When I was a young lady in the 50's and early 60's, I wore hats and gloves to church with my Sunday dresses and suits. I behaved with decorum at all times.
I was taught to respect my elders, not speaking unless I was spoken to, saying "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Sir" and never calling an adult by his or her given name unless they told me to. Aunts and Uncles were just that....not only first names, but with Aunt or Uncle before it. Yes, I even have an "Ant Bea". Oh, did I forget to mention that Aunt is pronounced "Ant" or "Aint".
Southern Belles enjoy being treated like a lady...having doors opened for them, chairs held, etc. And men don't do those things because they feel obligated but because they respect and admire the lady.
A Southern Belle wouldn't DREAM of going out of the house without makeup or with curlers in her hair! The very idea!! And she can flutter those well made up, curled lashes, she can blush on cue or turn on the tears if she is so inclined. Her man is putty in her hands.
Don't, however, let those delicate feminine wiles fool you. Beneath that Sweet Magnolia surface, she is as tough as nails. She can hold her family together, giving them the physical and emotional nourishment they require, while tending to the needs of neighbors, friends and extended family. If there is a death in the neighborhood or through the church, she is right there with food and a sympathetic ear, tears or smiles as needed.
And don't even think of "messin' with" her family! You would then unleash a tigress, ready to do anything to protect her loved ones. Just remember for a moment how Scarlett O'Hara, the epitome of Southern Belle-dom, rolled up her sleeves, worked like a "field hand" to keep Tara from falling into ruin. Scarlett is most Southern girls' heroine... one who can flirt shamelessly, manipulating the men around her into doing her every whim, while having the true grit not to let herself be taken for granted.
Oh, there is so very much more to the Southern Belle, or Steel Magnolia, if you will, but this will give you a start in understanding her.
I may no longer reside in the South, but I am Southern through and through. In the words of Clyde Edgerton, a North Carolina novelist, "Because I was born in the South, I am a Southerner. If I had been born in the North, the West, the Central Plains, I would be a human being."