Thursday, October 14, 1999
9:26 AM, in biology class

I think I've lost my grip on reality. I have trouble sleeping, I've dtopped shaving, I'm incredibly irritable, and I've even lonelier. In shory, I look like hell and I have a chip on my shoulder the size of a Buick (yes, I know it got smaller).

I dropped French yesterday... it made me sad, because it's a language I've spoken for a long time, and I'm not passing it.

Last night we had a party for my grandmother's 65th b-day. We went all out, too. We rented a Limo, took her around town, went to a great steakhouse, and went home for a small b-day party. We gave her the memory book we had been making for her and she burst into tears because there were pictures in there that she hadn't seen in years.

Back to my life though... well it still sucks. I've snapped and gone off on so many people lately, and I feel bad about it. I just wish I knew what to do... I could ask for God's help, but lately I think that He's turned me loose so I can learn to stand up on my own. That reminds me, thank goodness I get paid today. I need to pay off some eBay debts. I hope today goes better than the past three days have been.

I just realized I still don't have a topic for my LATE research paper.

10:48 AM, In English class

I'm really, really, really, really pissed off right now. I was trying to sleep earlier and people came up and waking me up! Courtney put a strawful of Coke on my face and Ben kept pestering me... grrr...

Well I'm sitting here in English class, and I just ranted about Ricky Martin being gay. It really made me feel better, but I have a weird feeling that I'm going to regret it later.