Sunday, January 30, 2000
8:39 PM, on the computer

Sometimes I find myself in a state of general contempt for the world. Right now is one of those times. I just can't stand how people think that this is it in life... I can't stand selfishness, and people who live for material pleasures... basically I love people, but I hate sin... I worry about the world... well rather the people in it... greed, selfishness, premartital and perverse sex, substance abuse... I think about these things and pray, and usually end up crying... I know there's a solution, but every time I mention God or Christ to people, they always lash out... then I think about myself, and how I can be a hypocrite sometimes, but I'm just worried about people to the point where I just forget everything I do sometimes and make myself vulnerable to help a person... yeesh, listen to me... and sometimes people ask me why I don't think about myself sometimes... why? There's so many other people in the world that need things more than I do, and need help, and love and things like that... I get all I need from helping people, it makes me happy and I know God's smiling on me when I lay myself on the line for others... I'm usually broke from lending people money all the time, and I don't expect people to pay me back... I just do it because the smiles make it worth it, that and the treasures in Heaven are worth far more... hey, look I guess I do think about myself sometimes...

Well I'm into P.O.D now, they're a great band, and fine Christians at that, too!

11:25 PM, on the comp

I'm conversing with a very intelligent lady right now, it's rare when a person gets me in a stimulating conversation, especially on the subject of Theology, but she's done it. Groovy.