Monday, March 27, 2000

Tonight was a blessed night. I'm not very happy right now, I'm kind of mournful. But I'm at peace, and all is well with my soul. But business will be taken care of in turn, yesterday first.

Sunday I went to go visit Word of Life Church on the other side of town. I had felt it on my heart to go meet Tommy Galloway, the pastor, and it seemed like the best time to go because my close friend Georgia asked me to go. So I went, and I found Pastor Galloway to be an amazing man. Georgia introduced me to him afterwards and I had the opportunity to talk to him for about twenty minutes. I offered myself as a student under him, and he said that he would love to have the opportunity to teach me and that I should call him later in the week. I look forward to it, I can learn a lot from him.

Later in the day I went to a worship service at the Chi House (pronounced Kye), a local Christian hangout, and I made some new friends and met some old friends. I'll be going back there later.

Well anyway I went to the afternoon service at my church and I had a good time. I received a Word from God, too. The guest speaker, an Evangelist from Canada, said that "a fire will come from my lips, and I am to not play my saxophone unless I feel the anointing of God upon me, and when I play I will blow like Gabriel blows His trumpet." I really didn't think about it, because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I shrugged it off and sat down. Later in the evening God spoke to me and told me that I had a spirit of confusion. That struck me as odd, but the more I thought about it I realized it was true. Later that night I approached the pastor and said "I've got a spirit of confusion in me, and I want it out!" He prayed for me, and it was cast out. I felt so good being able to think clearly for the first time in a while. After the service ended I went outside and I joined in a conversation with a new guy in church. It turns out the man is a traveller, he goes from place to place living off of the land and setting up camp in the wilderness. He's not homeless, because he does this because he wants to. I guess you could say he's got a wanderlust. But the man just OOZES wisdow... well, streetsmarts at least. There's so much I could learn from him, he's got so many stories to tell! I know, Dad and I drove him home and ended up talking to him until past midnight!

Today was just an amazing day... I had distractions, yes... but I'm cutting to the chase. Today while going to drama production I found a Blue Jay by the sidewalk and it was flopping around like it's wing was broken. A friend noticed it too, and I said that I was going to take it home and give it to the humane society. He went and found a caretaker and she put it in a box while I was in class, and I came out afterwards and took the bird home. I made a few phone calls and I found out that they don't accept wild animals. In other words if this bird was going to live, it would be by the Grace of God through me. I knew this bird was a sign from God somehow, because it sat on my finger and looked around and let me pet him, but if anyone else tried to touch it it freaked out and flapped his wings. I learned afterwards that it's wing wasn't broken, but I just thought it was sick. I decided that while I was taking care of him, I'd give him a name. I named the bird Sozo, the Hebrew word for salvation, healing, miracles, and happiness... which the last part is why I named him that.

Well anyway I went to church because that guest speaker was speaking both tonight and Tuesday. I got there and everything went fine, the speaker was great again. Georgia didn't show up like I wanted her to, but that's okay. God Bless her anyway. Towards the end of the service he gave a call to anyone that wanted to come up and praise God, and I went to the front and stood there with my arms raised and sang for about twenty minutes. I apologized to God for not doing what He's asked me to lately and for going on my own, and I said that I wouldn't act anymore without his consent. I knelt by the altar and felt compelled to pray, and I did. I prayed for Sozo, and suddenly I knew he was dying right then. I asked God to heal him and God considered it a good time to speak to me. He told me, "Son, he's with me now. You gave him dignity in his last hours, Bless you." Immediately I burst into tears and promised God I'd bury Sozo by the tree that was planted in honor of my birth and I thanked Him for giving me the sign I had been praying for lately. I told God that I was ready to do whatever He wanted me to do now, and this time I would wait on Him instead of acting on my own. I felt at peace, so I laid on my back and stretched out with open arms, just soaking it all in. I have never felt such peace before in my life.

When I got home I went into my room. I knew what I would see, but I hoped beyond all hope that when I looked into that box I'd see a hopping bird, happy beyond all belief and chirping praises. I knew Sozo was gone already, and I started crying before I reached into the box and pulled out my lifeless friend. I told my parents what happened, and they asked if I wanted them to bury him for me. I told them I wanted to do it alone and grabbed a shovel and headed to my tree. I held Sozo in one hand, and dug a small hole with the shovel and placed him in it. At this point I was crying so much that I could hardly speak, but I managed to say a few things. I said "Lord, I thank you for letting me spend time with Sozo. I know he was just a bird to other people, but to me he was a friend and one of your creations. I'm burying him next to this tree because I want You to know that even though Sozo's gone I know that he's with you, and since this tree is symbolic of me, this means that he's always going to be with me. This tree will be here even after I'm gone, and I know that when I'm in Heaven I'll look down at the tree and think 'that's not just the tree where I played as a child, but the tree where I buried a friend and a gift from God." I thanked Sozo for what he taught me, and I praised God for giving me peace. I plucked a feather from Sozo's wing, and took a leaf from my tree and put it on top of Sozo and said "This feather is a part of you, and this leaf is a part of me. We're both God's creations, and we'll see each other again. God, take care of my friend until I get there." I placed the soil over my friend's body, said "God, I'm ready now. I'll be strong, I won't let You down. I promise" and went inside.

Heh, I'm crying again... I don't really care what people think of me either. I thought I was going to help Sozo out and bring him back to health, but God used him to teach me a very important lesson. From something as simple as a bird I learned that life is so precious. It's not something that is to be wasted doing pointless, trivial things... it's for doing what we were intended to do: praise God with all of our being. I'm going to say it again. God, I'm ready... I want to be your hands in this world. You gave me a friend to show me that it was time for me as well, and I'll leave my world behind to give you all the praise and honor that you deserve. Use me, Lord. Direct me and guide me, for my will is Your Will. Thank you so much for blessing me today, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Rest in Peace Sozo, I'll see you flying in Heaven someday.