Monday, August 14, 2000
10:29 PM, on the computer

Y'know, I really have nothing to talk about anymore. Well, except Leah.

Oh yeah, funny story... lately I had been meeting a lot of girls that I was interested in, and I went on a date with one and it went so badly that I decided to do things God's way. I asked my pastor to pray for me the next Sunday, and he prayed that I'd be granted the discernment to tell whom I should choose to date... and much to my chagrin I lost all interest in the girls.

The next night I just so happened to be on the internet (for once) and someone named Leah messaged me. We got to talking and I liked her so far and it turned out she's from Tupelo. I decided I wanted to take this girl out so I get her number and called her the next morning. We talked for a bit and I found out something amazing: I know this girl. I had met her a few months ago when I still worked at Spencer Gifts *sudders*. She worked at the movie theater and I noticed her because she bore a striking resemblance to Allison Hannigan (sp?), and I didn't talk to her but a friend I was with told her she looked just like "the band camp girl". Later she had left for the Air Force and was discharged on a medical discharge and so now she's back and looking for people to hang out with, and she thought (and I quote) "you're one attractive looking duck". So we went out and had a great time. She and I both had such a good time that we decided to skip the dating part and go straight to the relationship. Our 3-week anniversary is tomorrow night.

Well anyway Leah's great! She's a believer (one plus), very smart (two), funny (three), and GOR-GE-OUS! (big fourth plus) Oh yeah... she's also a redhead (Kelsey...). She loves video games and movies, her parents are very cool, and her brother and sister are both likable. I'm just in an intense state of like here... life is good. Praise the Lord!

Speaking of Jesus, the jail ministry's going great! I mean it's nothing compared to what my sister did in Peru, but the Lord's doing things in there too, and the people Grant and I are ministering to are showing such improvement that I can hardly believe some of the praise reports I'm getting from in there. Last week C (where I preach in) and D pods were mixed together to make room, and "my boys in C" were having a Bible study when they started taking heat from some of the guys from D. So what did they do? They stood up and formed a circle and prayed aloud for the guys making fun of them! One of them then tried to make fun of one of the guys in my group (also the newest member, and someone that used to suffer from a baaaaad temper) just looked him right in the eyes and blessed him. The would-be assailant left defeated and he later came up to the guy and started asking him questions about God! I didn't see him at the table Sunday morning, but my friend still planted quite a seed.

I'm starting to notice another ministry that God's opening up for me, He's giving me a LOT of opportunities in the jail and other places to buy Bibles for people, it's getting expensive but I always have more than enough money and the Bibles I buy from Fred's keep coming in, and always twice as many as I bought the last week! Don't EVER let anyone tell you that God doesn't provide, friend.

One more thing: I'm also the director of games at a youth retreat run by two of my youth pastor pals at another church. I'm really looking forward to it! Man, is God keeping me busy or what??

I'm reading a book now called "God Chasers" and it's changing my life. It's made me think a lot about the state of the church these days and I'm quite disappointed in what I see... however, this time I'm keeping it to my sermons and personal thoughts because as proven by my guestbook, the internet can't handle me...

But anyway, I'm disappointed in the "revival fever" of the church these days... don't get me wrong, it's a good thing to want revival, but a revival is NOT a meeting organized by men that meets during weeknights and has great music and a silver-tongued evangelist (nothing wrong with that though... I have some close friends that are evangelists) and it's not really a revival... just a renewal. A REAL revival is what is going on in Brownsville and Toronto, and what happened at Azuza St in the early 1900's and with John Wesley and Jonathan Edwards (who experienced an amazing revival among the Puritains, who were not as religious as I once believed... go do some research, it's amazing stuff) in the early years of America. But what's going on in this age of America's apostacy is just a simple renewal... I want to see the real deal... something bigger than Brownsville and citywide. Something like that should have happened here in the Bible belt but religion threw a monkey wrench in that one...

What I really want to see though, is not renewal, and not even a revival (though that would be great)... what I want to see is God Himself. I won't rest until I'm in His presence either... the devil can try what he wants to hold me back, but he'll fail because I WILL SEE GOD SOMEDAY. I'll see him if it kills me... and it's happened too, the Levites used to purge all sin from their lives in seclusion for a week, tie a rope around their ankles, and even spread smoke behind the curtain before entering the Holiest of Holies (read the Canonical books of the Bible for more info), because if they saw God's presence in the room and had any sin... the other priests would have to use the rope to pull the guy's body out of the room. Like I said, I don't care if it kills me... I'm going to see God.