Saturday, September 4, 1999
12:22 AM, on the computer
Right now, I have a chip on my shoulder the size of a Buick. I just got back from a bar that I was acting as designated driver, and after getting home I'm furious. Right now, I'm so angry that I don't care who I offend right now, so if you continue reading be warned that I'm not holding back.
I'm horrified at how many people abuse alchohol. Very few people realize that alchohol as well as caffienne as classified as a drug. After hanging at a bar for three hours I've come to the conclusion that people that drink are weak, at least in my opinion. They're so boring and/or afraid of themselves that they rely on a liquid to make them more "fun". Idiotic... I don't see why people drink... I really don't. I asked my dad why he used to, and he said "because I was stupid." People try and tell me why they do it, but I've yet to hear a response that makes me change my mind. As for my mind, yes I'm speaking it and I think everyone has a right to express theirs. As for possible offending someone... tough. Someone said that I was too much of a stubborn a-hole and that's why I'm so alone. Forgive me for having morals. If standing up for what I believe is right and going through with it is wrong, I sure don't want to be right.
However, I do see uses for alchohol. Rubbing alchohol, cleansing agents, sterilizers, a little whiskey for a cold... but drinking it to make yourself more presentable, more loose... sounds like a person with some insecurities if you ask me. "I drink to relax" Oh puh-lease... And those who use it for sex, they're the most despicable types. Drinking... yeesh.
Lord, what has happened to the world? When will people finally realize that life is not the problem, they are? It breaks my heart to see so many people (including myself) seeking only cheap thrills and living for their own personal fun. People are crazy if they think that this is it, and this is what it's supposed to be. BZZZZZT!!! Wrong, it's not supposed to be anything other than what you make it. You get one life, live it right instead of pursuing selfish pleasures. Whatever happened to love thy neighbor? I think it's turned into "Love thy neighbor when it benefits thee." I definitely admit being guilty to that one among other points in this rant. Seems like my entire life has been just an elaborate plot to please myself.
Speaking of myself, I'm sick of being judged for my beliefs. So what if I don't want to date a person if she smokes pot? What buisness is that of yours? I pride myself on my morals. I want to be around people who make me feel good, and who are of many a good virtue, and mild vices are acceptable... the strongest being smoking. I don't want a druggie, a drunk, or an atheist. I want a girl that's sweet, kind, compassionate, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, and makes me feel good about myself. What's wrong with that? And why should it matter who I have to deny until I find this person? I'm tired of dealing with it. I think I'm just going to go to bed and lock myself in the house for the weekend. People shouldn't have to put up with me when I'm like this.
5:25 PM, on the computer
I got a harsh e-mail from someone I was with last night, and it inspired me to rise above it and change. I just finished shredding/burning 5 porn mags, and then cleaned the house, did some laundry, stepped in the door to my room and said "nahhhhh..." I'm listening to some of my sister's Christian CD's and I'm liking a lot of it. I need to hug her and thank her for leaving her CD's while she went on her youth trip. I used to not think so, but there's some really good Christian groups out there... Buck, Plumb, Viva Voce, Disciple (who sounds a lot like Limp Bizkit), and I'm listening to one right now that ROCKS HARD called Nailed. Speaking of my sister, I'm going to try and be nicer to her in the future. Heck, I'm going to be nicer to EVERYONE and I'm going to be a bit more lenient with my parents.
6:47 PM, on the computer
HOLY COW MXPX ROCKS!!!!
7:23 PM, on the computer
Well I just had to deal with a friend that took a bit too much Robutussin DM. She had a bit of a DMX overdose. She'll be fine, she's just gonna feel like a floating iguana for a while and have an urge for twinkies and cheeseburgers.
And it just dawned on me that I was supposed to have a date tonight.
10:04 PM, on the computer
Molly came by earlier, we had a great conversation and I feel a lot better about myself. I had an opportunity to express myself to her and she did the same. We really got a lot out of that talk. I felt then was the time so I went and gave her the Sailor Moon locket that I bought for her birthday. She loved it! Molly told me the cutest joke though, and here it is:
Two Jewish men were sitting around and talking about their sons, and one said to the other, "I am so worried about my son, he's disgraced me! I sent him to the Hold Land so he could learn about his roots and his history, and he comes back a Christian! A Christian!!"
"Oy," The other man exclamed, "I did the same thing, with the same results! I send him to the Holy Land and he slaps me in the face with this becoming a Christian stuff, why couldn't he have studied his roots?"
The two men decide to pray to God about it, they explaim to Him the situation and they plead to the Almighty for help and God said to them:
"I know how you two feel, I sent my son there and he did the same thing!"
After Molly left I called and told the person that I upset that I was sorry for upsetting them. Apology accepted. Then I cooked a pizza and started watching Bulworth. That was a very entertaining movie! I can't say it was good, because in the Christian sense of good it certainly wasn't (too much profanity), but it showed a great depiction of how things are in america these days, and frankly hearing a sixty-year old man rapping was a riot! That scene in the church was brilliant...
I just remembered something my sister told me that disturbed me. At my old high school (and my sister's current) a pregnant girl was attacked and severely beaten. If the baby dies the attackers could get sent to prison for manslaughter. Yet the mother could willingly go abort the baby and the worst she would (physically) get is a little nausea and some soreness...
I smell hypocracy...
Anyways I'm talking to Kelsey and April, and I'm finding myself wishing I really had a sister like April and a girlfriend like Kelsey. They're both good ladies, and both gorgeous as everything.
I've learned an important lesson today, I have every right to stand up for my morals, but I don't have the right to make everyone miserable in the process. So if you've read up to here and you were offended by that above stuff, thanks for putting up with me, you must either be a strong person or just doing your research to try to catch me saying something you can nail me with ;)