Thursday, September 28, 2000
10:04 PM, on the computer

Life lately is just... interesting, to say the least. Today at work I was just looking for an excuse to quit. I'm just tired of Fred's, honestly. It was really stressful, and with the Holiday season coming up I doubt I'm going to be working there much longer. It's cutting into my church schedule and the pay bites. I still don't have a checking account yet, let alone money saved up for Bible college! I don't want to impose on Ms Bishop though, because she's had enough employees quit lately. I'm just going to trust in the Lord though and let Him do what He wants.

I found myself in an interesting situation that I didn't want to be in. I found out from a female friend at church last night that Leah's new boyfriend asked her out for this weekend, and on top of that the girl's 16 and just broke up with her boyfriend (maybe a week ago...). *cough*player*cough*... It's strange though, part of me wants to just sit back and watch Leah reap what she's sown, but as usual my conscience doesn't want her to get hurt. I don't want to seem like I'm jealous though, but I'm trying to figure out how to pass the word that the guy she left me for is cheating on her. Oh, the irony...

HOW THE HECK DO I ALWAYS IN UP IN THESE MESSES????

Someone's saying "So just don't do anything..." Well, I think you're right. I'm just gonna leave it be and watch from behind the scenes. Who knows, maybe she'll end up reading this (yeah, right... she didn't even care that I had a page), or maybe someone she knows will end up reading this, or maybe I'll just sprout wings and fly to the moon.

I got a little bored just now and started compliling a list of every crush I've ever had in my life, and I came up with at least 62 girls (not counting celebrities... that would put it off the scale). Then I thought about how many of them actually liked me and this is what I got:

38 either didn't know or knew and didn't feel the same.

24 girls knew and actually liked me back:
-- Five of them were in nursery school (I was popular when playing kisschase...)
-- Two of them in elementary, middle, and high school
-- One I met in the Lion's Band
-- Nine of them on the internet (yeesh, was I a loser or what!???!?)
-- Three of them when I worked at Spencers (and probably just because I worked there, too)
-- One from church
-- One of them in college
-- Two of them this year, in various places




I have too much time on my hands.

Y'know I can see something positive to having the inanity to make that list... now, whenever I feel an attraction to a girl, I can remember that list and think of all the past failures I've had with women and know that the Lord has that one certain someone out there. That, and now I can say I'm sad enough to have a list of every crush I've ever had. That, and I can say that 39% of all the girls I've liked liked me back.

Man I'm sad....

A good friend told me today that my life should be made into a sitcom, cause his wife told him about what happened Tuesday and he said "that's something that could only happen to John...". I couldn't help but think of my testimony, and how I used to make up extraordinary stories to make myself seem more interesting. Again, I sense irony...