Duck Droppings...page 5

Duck Droppings... page 5

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The little white tags on mattresses
-Sent in by Mr-Han-Man

Hey, that's a good one! Lemme see... hmmm.... I need to make a collection of these. Yeah, that would be a good idea... I'd become the FBI's most wanted, and they'd have everyone looking for me.... yeah... I can see it now.... I'd write a book, and go on TV surrounded my tons of gorgeous redheads, and I'd be famous... yeah...... that would be so cool.... that does sound like a good idea.... *rips the tag off of his mattress* and so it begins....

Crawdads
-Sent in by H

I just luvs crawdads... I can eat my own weight in them! (which is pretty easy, trust me) Oh, and if you can find a girl that sucks the heads, she's a keeper... and get your mind out of the gutter, that's not what I was thinking.....

girls who wear funky colored nail polish
-Sent in by H

I have no problem! On the London trip, I met a girl that only wore colors that matched her swimsuits... weird... very weird...

friends...(the tv show)
-Sent in by H (does ANYONE other than her read this section??)

Yuck... man I can't tell you how many times I wanted to scream from hearing that stupid theme song OVER AND OVER AND OVER again..... yeesh. Jennifer Aniston's cute though...

Unreceived love
-Sent in by Taffychik
Shanukka Nukka

That's kinda a touchy subject there... hmmm, Love is one of the driving forces in peoples lives, and it really stinks if you love someone and they don't love you back. But are you sure it's love? Someone once said "it's only love if he loves you back...". Have you even told him about it yet? It's dangerous to have an unrequited love... I'd advise you to just move on with your live, or just be brave about it and maybe he'll come around. To be honest (this sounds kinda gay), pick up a couple of teen magazines and try some of the stuff it says in there, you'd be surprised (sp?) to see what kind of good advice they have towards picking up guys. If a girl tried some of the stuff I saw in a mag that my sister showed me, you could land a guy easily (or at least me... but I don't suggest trying that one!)! Whoa... I can make a living off of this stuff! Any newspaper or magazine need someone to write an advice column??

Freaks
-Sent in by April (your cute little read headed sis... don't look at me, I just copied and pasted this... -G)
Freak Side

That's an interesting one there... hmmm.... well, I guess you could say it's freaky... (bad pun, sorry). Well, in my (aka the right) opinion *grins*... there's two types of freaks. Freaks, and wannabees. I'll admit I'm not a freak, but I have friends that are, so they explained this to me. Freaks aren't necessarily those guys you see at the mall wearing 20 earrings in each ear or those guys with 13 different hair colors. Fact albiet a freak WOULD wear a t-shirt and jeans to an opera, but that's the only fashion-wise thing pertaining... okay, a TRUE freak (my opinion, passed on by a friend) is someone who recognizes that the world isn't necessarily a bright and happy place. Wannabees are pretty much people other than the ones I just described. Y'know, the ppl that do it for attention, not because they like it. There are exeptions though, I saw a girl shave her head to get attention, but she really did turn out to be one though. You'd be surprised how often they turn out to be the nicest people sometimes! While I was in London, one chased this girl down for 6 blocks in Piccadilly Circus to give her the wallet that fell out of her purse! And the money was still in it! And why do I get all these subjects that are hard to make funny? *laughs*

Mississippi
-Sent in by Kelsey
PoisonIvy's Lair

Man, my first subject back... and it HAD to be this... oh well, here goes...
Misssissippi. Land of rednecks, bigotry, religious fanatics, and my home for the moment. If it sounds like I don't like this place, it's because I don't. But I'm stuck here *grumbles* But there are some gems in this place. I've met some very friendly people here, and there are some of the prettiest ladies I've ever seen walking around. But if given the chance I'd move immediately.

Commercials
-Sent in by Kelsey
PoisonIvy's Lair

Commercials... corporate Darwinism?

Flirts :-)
-Sent in by Kelsey
PoisonIvy's Lair

Hey hey hey, you'd better watch it *s*... send another subject like that and you may have to deal with a bunch of jealous ladies! But to the subject... I love flirts, there's no bigger kick for me than an agressive woman... ouch! I guess that's another reason why I like redheads!

People who have died their hair red
-Sent in by Kelsey
PoisonIvy's Lair

Hey, you can't blame a person for copying nigh-perfection... but a copy is a copy, and will never be anywhere near the quality of the real thing. But here's a hint ladies, dye jobs that fool me impress me greatly... just be sure you're thorough (if you catch my drift)

Porn
-Sent in by Kelsey
PoisonIvy's Lair

Porn... where did this one come from???? Forgive me for copping out, but there's a bunch of subjects I said I wouldn't answer, and that's one of them. I plead the fifth!

Gumbo On...
-Sent by an anonymous person (oh no... I hope she doesn't start this crap again...)

Well, it's one of the better ideas I've had! I think it gets more hits then the rest of my site... I guess it shows you that people like interactivity. But I do get some DUMB subjects sometimes...

and what's with that stalker girl, geez!?? *evil grin*

New Kids on the Block's greatest hits
-Sent in by bostonboundbaby

I still can't believe they had enough hits to have a greatest hits album... maybe that's why it took 9 flippin years to put one out. I saw two of them on TV the other day... Joey McIntyre and Jordan Knight... and MAN Joe had a high voice... but sang low. What's wrong with this picture???

Garden Salad
-Sent in by H

Garden salad... well... uh... well shoot, there's nothing funny about Garden salad... except maybe the lettuce... they look kinda like an old lady's legs.

~mean ppl named kelsey who try and steal my gig~
-Sent in by H

Oh nice try chère, if you're gonna send me more than one at a time, do it FROM A DIFFERENT COMPUTER SO THE IP ADDRESSES DON'T MATCH!!! But JUST THIS ONCE I'll do the subject. Next time this happens both of them get thrown out. Okay... Kelsey... she's a really sweet girl, and one of my favorite people. And she has a distinctive advantage over you girl... RED HAIR!!! And another thing this page is like a democracy. Run by the many, not the few... POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!

Little Girls named H who keep on sending in DUMB Subjects =)
-Sent in by ~Greek Goddess~
Go there and find out

Oh ho ho!! I was wondering when this one would come up!! *grins and pops his knuckles* time to let the 55 keys do the talking... she's furry, she's persistent, she's Canadian... yes ladies and gentleman there's only one H (whom I affectionately call kitten). She's the reason why I shut this down for a while, and why I put restrictions on the subjects when I brought it back... see, she thinks she's special... *s*. Oh and thanks for the lil side message, heh... she loves me *blushes* love you too P *hugs*

oh, and H... this subject is FAR from over *grins*

People (NOT) Dating Their Friends

This is something I have a real beef about sometimes. I have a lot of close friends that are female, and yes I will admit that I'm attracted to almost every one of them. And I find that a lot of people that have male friends also have usually had every boyfriend in the past treat them like crap, and they always go running to that boy best friend. Women don't realize the trouble this causes... because usually the "perfect guy" that they always want... the guy that's smart, funny, and caring... is most ALWAYS the guy that they've made their best friend and it secretly tortures him because he knows it. So ladies, if you read this and it strikes a chord... stop torturing the guy and just kiss him, 99.9% of the time (that 0.1% being that he's gay) he'll kiss you back, because he loves you just as much as you never admitted to yourself that you love him.

Teenyboppers

"Teenybopper -- Someone completely infatuated with whatever artist is played on the radio once every hour, hears one song, then changes stations, hears the same song and still enjoys it. One who is in love with every trend, and follows every single fashion idea that is brought on by all of these musical talents. They also buy all the merchandise that group has out on the market. See also Poser."
-- Anonymous

Rememeber when you saw footage of people at Michael Jackson concerts that were hopping up and down while crying, screaming, and laughing at the same time? Didn't they just make you laugh? I mean yes, I will probably start blushing if Rebecca St James comes to my town and she touches my face and tells me I'm cute but YEESH... people fainting... that's a bit too much. Sad thing is this has been going on since the time of The Doors, and I watched something on them the other day and my eyed widened when they talked about something that Jim Morrison did.... HE WROTE THEIR SECOND ALBUM FOR THE MUSIC AND NOT FOR THE FANS... and look where they are now. Okay now go to the present... I just read something about Hanson (and mind you I am in no way promoting Hanson) that said that they tried the same thing but the project was scrapped and the record bigwigs fired the guy that helped put out their first two albums and hired THE GUY THAT SIGNED BRITTANY SPEARS to take charge. Hellooooo? McFly? What's wrong with this picture? There's a difference between actually selling out and just plain FORCED TO. Whatever happened to putting music out for the sake of music? Teenyboppers are controlling everything now, everything on Total Request Live now is either rap music or teenybopper junk... I seriously think music is headed for something of a downfall when all those girls suddenly grow up and start listening to real music. And for all the people who put out the same junk with a "me too" attitude, read Proverbs 25-16...:
"If you find honey, eat just enough --
too much of it, and you will vomit."

Obi-Wan Kenobi
-Sent in by Kimmie

Probably my favorite movie/literary (hey mind you SW was a book first)/video game character of all time... I can talk about Obi-Wan like Tom Hanks talked about the Godfather in You've Got Mail. I want to be the guy so badly that I've started growing the braid he had in Episode I. What's kinda cool though is that my real life friends admit that I look like both young and old Obi-Wan, and a close friend calls me Padawan, which is a Jedi Apprentice. You should have seen the look on my face when I finally got my own lightsaber... heck I'm playing with it now... oh get that out of your mind!! Sick freak... ;) May the Force be with you...

The Lovely Milena
-Sent in by Deep7Blue

Truly an asset to woman kind... she's an amazing lady and I'll be honest, yes if she were single I would take no hestiation in pursuing her... which means yes guys, unfortunately, she's taken... which even if she were single you wouldn't have much of a chance because you'd have to fight me off. She's incredibly smart, cultured, passionate, sweet, (very) beautiful, funny, and well I could go on for days... Well anyway she has all the qualities that I look for in a woman, so all you Mrs. Wade hopefuls out there (hey I can dream...), if you want a good idea of what I desire in a life partner, just talk to my close friend and see how closely you compare, and even if you're not, talk to her anyway... she's a treasure to know!

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