This is a silly spec that was inspired by Pandora and Memnoch the Devil. You probably won't like it if you enjoyed Memnoch the Devil, and I don't mean to offend anyone by it. Any feedback is appreciated. Please excuse the spelling errors.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction and is intended purely for entrainment. It is not intended to infringe on Anne Rice, Random House, etc, etc. All characters (except Jerry of course) created by Anne Rice.
Spoilers: Mainly Pandora:New Tales of the Vampires, and Memnoch the Devil. I strongly reccomend you read Pandora before reading this, it'll make much more sense.
IF JERRY SPRINGER TAPED AT NIGHT
By: Juliapi@aol.com
Transcript from the Jerry Springer Show.
Date of taping: 5/17/98
Title of Show "I am an Anne Rice Vampire and I have a shocking secret!"
Guests: Louis, Daniel, Marius, Pandora, Memnoch, Gabrielle.
Jerry Springer: Hello and welcome to the show. Tonight, we will meet Anne Rice vampires with shocking, steamy secrets! Maybe will even get to see preternatural powers at work if they fight!
Audience: (Applauds.)
Jerry: Our first guest is the Vampire Pandora. Pandora is beautiful, storong, and independant. Today, after 2000 years of silence, she wants to tell her lover Marius "Love me but leave me alone!"
Pandora: (Walks in and sits down.)
Jerry: Hello and welcome to the show. I understand that you want to tell your lover to leave you alone. Why do you feel that way?
Pandora: Well Jerry, it's just that he's there every damn minute. You mentioned that I'm a strong, beautiful, independent, intelligent woman, but Marius stifles all that! For 2000 years, 2000, you understand, he's been breathing on my neck, exucuse the pun. He should go mingle with David or that Brat Prince, dammit!
Jerry: Lets meet Marius! Marius, come on out!
Marius: (Comes out.) Pandora, my beloved, can't we talk about this?
Pandora: (Yells at Marius in rapid Latin mixed with Greek.) We had 2000 years to talk!
Jerry and Audience: (Look confused.)
Jerry: Ok, ok, Pandora, we don't understand you. Marius, what do you have to say about all this?
Marius: (turns toward Pandora). Pandora, I love you! I gave you immortality! Don't you remember that night when you came to me begging for the dark gift? And all those wonderful times we had together? Do you remember the first time you saw me? I loved you then! I love you even more now that you came out of your zombie-like state!
Pandora: (Looks coldly at Marius.) I don't believe you. You don't love me, you love that demonic child Armand!
Marius: (Suddenly enraged). Oh, this is about Armand, isn't it? I see now, you're jealous! You're probably happy that he is dead now! Well, aren't you? Aren't you? You and that devil Santino are celebrating this tragedy!
Pandora: (Smugly). What I do with Santino is none of your business. Go blame Lestat for the *misshap* with Armand.
Jerry: Whoa, what's this about Santino? Pandora, are you cheating on Marius?
Marius: (Gets teary eyed). Pandora, I thought you loved me! Ok, I was a little pushy, but must you cheat on me with my enemy! He tried to kill me and my Amadeo in the 15th century!
Jerry: Ok, we have a comment. Go ahead, sir.
Audience Member #1: Marius, man, you're worth more than this. Pandora doesn't give a damn about you. Find a woman who respects you! And Pandora, girl, you overdid it with that white face powder!
Audience: (Loudly applauds).
Pandora: (Furiously). I'm a vampire!
Jerry: We'll be right back after this commercial break. By the way, do you know any vampires who dress way too sexy and you would like us to give them a makeover? If so, you can be a guest on the show. (Number flashes on the screen.)
(Commerical Break)
Go to Part 2
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