I've always detested Valentine's Day.
Now, for those of you who are still reading, let me try to talk my way out of this ever-deepening hole in which I've so blatantly thrown myself. I know it sounds like an awful statement, but I promise, if you read on you'll see why the above statement was made.
Let's start with the grade school celebrations, shall we? You'd always give and get those pointless valentines that had something so inexplicably distant from Valentine's Day that it made Mark Fuhrman look like a member of Kool and the Gang. Something like a valentine bearing the visage of a GI-Joe character or whatnot. Ever get one of those? You know, nothing gets me more in the mood to celebrate the holiday of love than having Destro or the Baroness say "Thinking of you."
Aside from that, childhood Valentine's Days were pretty harmless. Then, as time progressed, and with it the need to deliver pointless valentines containing even more pointless messages, the meaning of the holiday changed. It became a time to spend with that 'special someone' in your life. It became - and still is - the Day of Cards and Flowers.
This is part of the reason why I really can't stand this holiday. In order for some people to show how much they can open up their hearts, they have to open up their wallets. While I'm all in favor of giving someone you love a token of said love, I don't think it has to be a requirement. You can't put a price tag on the heart.
Yet, that's exactly what has happened. Valentine's Day, keeping with the uniquely American tradition seen in most of our other holidays, was bought and sold a long time ago...and we - like a Home Shopping Network junkie - are still trying to paying for it.
More often than not, we're caught in some dastardly Catch-22 of the heart that Yossarian himself would be proud of: we want to show the other person that we care, yet don't want to spend an arm and a leg on it. Some will argue that 'price shouldn't be of any concern if it's for someone you love.' Well, if price doesn't matter, then the lack thereof shouldn't matter either, hmm?
This whole "purchase, lest ye be purged" attitude fits right in with point two of why I hate Valentine's Day - it is an inconsistency in itself. Let's face it, people act differently on Valentine's Day. Sometimes they act like they really care for one another (not that I'm saying they usually don't care for each other, but on this day they actually show it). But then a short 24 hours later, February 15 comes around and - boom - it's back to 'normal'.
The overriding philosophy of this holiday is that time dictates behavior. "Oh, it's Valentine's Day - might as well act extra lovingly today," - this is the rationale most people cling to. Personally, I happen to think that if you're romantically linked to somebody, every day should be your own personal Valentine's Day. This is a person near and dear to you - show it as much as you possibly can. Automatically showing love, just because it happens to be Valentine's Day, makes you nothing more than a human Pavlovian test subject; only you don't get the food pellet like the mice do.
A third crime I cannot deal with is couples who don't think that sharing their affection with one another is quite good enough, so they ditch convention and go the proverbial extra mile to let everyone know just what they feel. A simple walk in the hallway can lead to the viewing of an Ireton 'Big Red' commercial. You know, if I had even the slightest of concerns for your relationship - which, in all honesty, I don't - I would have voiced them by now and, until I do, please have the common courtesy possessed by even the lower forms of mammals (as well as some forms of coral) and keep it out of my face...please. I'm not bitter or anything, I just happen to think that there is a time and a place for everything.
Finally, I think that there is an undo pressure on those who are not in the game of love to toss in their ante. Why? Maybe they want to sit out a few rounds, or maybe they just haven't been dealt the right cards and have decided to cash in their chips (enough card game references?). Of all days to let that person you've had your eye on know just how you feel about them, this is not the day. We're talking cliche city here. Be original, don't go down the well-trodden paths others have made. Be Mark Trail - chart your own course. On the other hand, there is no time like the present, and if you do feel that the time is right, go for it (who knows, it may prove successful).
So see, it's not that I hate Valentine's Day for hate's sake - it just happens to be handled in a way that I don't agree with very much. Much like communism and New Coke, it is a great idea that fails when put into effect. All that I can say for all you lovers out there is: don't stop on the 14th...make the day after that your own Valentine's Day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next.....
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