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The mind of the drummer is a mysterious and desolate domain, but using numerous psyhotherapy sessions and by asking questions about the size of his winkie, I beleive I have tapped into the very heart of his psyche behind the facade of dribbling stupidity.
I have presented my results of the 7 experiments I conducted below, along with my final findings.
Big snogs
Prof. Gerald Monkeytapper
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The first area of mental activity isolated is a large area of frothy gloopy stuff beleived to be responsible for the ability to play the drums |
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Drummers are often under the delusion that they are Rock'n'Roll rebels, which they beleive makes them appealing to young ladies ... |
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... and animals |
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Next I managed to isolate a vast area of the cerebellum which inexplicably appears to be completely empty. This area seems linked with most other regions and facets of drummer's personality. |
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Drummers, especially old farts are obssessively addicted to all manner of alcohol and mind bending drugs. Some binges may take several weeks to complete. |
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This region of the mind appears to control speech and social interaction. |
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The large bulk of the frontal lobes is given the name 'Drummaris Cretinus'. It is incredibly small and mainly useless. |
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Thanx are due to
Infinite Fish for providing the background
© 1996 (though you can copy something if you really want to)
E-mail Dooog
Comments gratefully received
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