June 12, 1997
The squeegee squad
Are the dog days getting to Mike Harris and Dave Boothby?
Rather than do some productive work, they seem to just wanna bang on their
drums all day. Premier Mike is suddenly feeling faint about Metro's mini-boom in
"in-your-face" bare breasts. And Police Chief Dave is sweating, well bullets
about the squeegee kids who are sprouting like weird, pierced rhubarb on traffic-clogged
street corners. And both are having a meltdown over that ultimate challenge
to Toronto the Good: Bare-bosomed squeegee kids!
So the big guys are cranking up the heat. Harris is asking Ottawa to pass
a law restricting bare nekkid ladies to beaches, and Boothby is trying to squeeze
the squeegee kids into another line of work, although here are no obvious jobs for
them, or even welfare.
But jeez, Louise, why all the fuss? Since when is equality between the sexes
a bad thing? Or a bit of free enterprise, for that matter? These are bedrock Tory
values, aren't they?
We haven't been struck by a riptide of nudity on Yonge Street, or drivers
cowering in fear of squeegee-swinging goons. Politeness is still the norm. No one
has to ogle a topless stroller, and the squeegee kids routinely take No Thanks for
an answer.
In fact, we've seen odder goings-on in bucolic places like Bracebridge or
Bancroft. Has anyone checked out the raucous Combermere bathtub races recently?
Big-bore hunting (and drinking) season in Barry's Bay? Midsummer deckwear (not)
on Georgian Bay party boats? Or the OPP in their yee-haw Texas Ranger headgear?
There's some strange brew out there. Some of it makes the prancing around Metro
look tame.
Okay. Tory premiers and top cops live to defend the status quo. Free spirits
and free enterprisers are challenging community standards. But times change,
and so should attitudes. Rather than crank up the heat, Harris and Boothby oughta
chill out. And shake loose a loonie for the squeegee squad.