Part 6 of The Odyssey

Part 6 of the Odyssey:

Kananaskis to Banff

(Illustrations can be found below this text.)

In the last episode, we left Calgary in disgust on Easter Sunday, fed up with its drab browness, lack of mountains, lack of any reason to stay, really.

Oh, avoid the Savory Lodge (in the Motel section of town).

We both felt pretty unhappy about life in general, but things improved as the Rockies re-appeared, and the landscape became clean again. TB had a deep hatred of youth hostels (cos they contained Youth), but as we headed into Kananaskis country, the sign for the HI hostel at Ribbon Creek popped up, and on a whim we went to have a look.

It was a little log house, set in a birch forest, all on its own. We went in, and it seemed deserted, and rather homey. So we put our names in the book against a "family room", and then headed up the road to the posh Kananaskis Resort, where TB discovered that the recently abandoned Children's Easter Rotunda contained sheep. (See pictures!) So we played around there a bit, then headed back to the hostel.

The room had one of those bright red bunk beds with a big fat bed underneath and a weedy little bed up top. We pondered this for a while, before deciding that TB could have the bottom bunk.

The whole place was like a rustic old ski lodge. People started to appear before dinner time, and we found that most of the lodgers were rather old, and very friendly.

TB baked some ham, and then we spent the evening chatting to a bloke and his two young sons.

He was a farmer from somewhere north of Edmonton, near Little Slave Lake. The bumpkin act wore thin quite fast, and he and his boys revealed themselves to be educated men, thinkers, and snowboarders! TB choked down his instincts and kept chatting. Later that night, we all went outside for the best views of comet Hale-Bopp, with no lights to spoil it.

The boys rattled off the names of the constellations and the main stars, and in-all a most civilised evening was enjoyed by all. Quite late, a group of boys from some international school in Japan arrived; most of them were European, but they all spoke Japanese!

My sleep would have been peaceful had it not been for bloody TB who lurched about all night, making the bunk sway and buck. He was damn lucky I am not prone to sea-sickness.

Monday March 31:

Off to ski Fortress Mountain. This must qualify as the worst, crappiest, awfulest, ripoffishnest, rottenest excuse for a ski area EVER! Whoever designed it should be SHOT!

No snow maintenance, grooming, all slow lifts going nowhere, short runs...utter rubbish.

We gave up after an hour, and made the happy discovery that our tickets would also work at Nakiska (developed for the Calgary winter olympics).

So we went there, and found a much better proposition. Two fast quads, wide runs, rather a lot of man-made snow softening lower down, but up top it was deserted, well-maintained and quite satisfactory cruising. Guess what happened at lunchtime? TB became toast!

So, off to Banff. It had been booked out for Easter, but TB found us a room at the Spruce Grove motel, which was adequate, and walking distance to town. After TB had a nice afternoon snore, we went for dinner to Joe Bfitsplks diner - overpriced, tired, and terrible service - and then up to Wild Bills as there was an important Ball Game (TB-ese for basketball) to watch.

TB also kept a weather-eye out for Lurv, but none appeared, so he proposed that we return home. But, as we were leaving, some Mutton dresssed up as Lamb came in, and he hastily changed his plans and decided to drop me at the motel while he returned to the bar! He had the usual success, however, and was safely tucked up in bed and snoring to wake the dead before 10pm.

Tuesday April 1: Banff

We got up very early, headed for Sunshine, intending to beat the dreaded Families. We failed.

Got to the gondola at 8.30am, bright and cold day, and it took us 1 1/2 hours to buy our tickets and catch a gondola. We found the main runs served by super-fast chairs, but there didn't seem to be much in the way of actual runs! (There's some pictures of me turning the Olins below.)

So we went to try out Goat's Eye, the new bit, and that was better, tho the queues were bad and the runs were cut up by a bloody cat-track. It was a bit icy, too.

TB was toast and gondola-ed down. I skiied a bit more, and then de-mountained via the cat-track. We prowled the shops at Banff (I have this T-shirt habit...) and had a look at the Banff HI hostel, which was magnificent. We then found the Banff Centre, and used their net access in a very civilised library. While TB continued his flame war with the Seattle Men's Knitting Group ("it's purrrl one knit two, you bastard...") I clumped around in ski boots dipping into Plutarch and Arrian and dabbling in their modern philosophy collection.

Wednesday April 2: Lake Louise!

Weather was good, crowds were awful... I decided to brave the bloody Radius's again, hooked on that rebound but dreading their behaviour on ice. The scenery from the top was just awesome, and we toured over to Larch area, which was a bit quieter, the snow was good and the skis were popping out of those turns like springs - brilliant.

Then we went back around to the front of the hill to try the downhill course. But! it was quite icy, though not excessivly so, and the Radius's threw a wobbly and decided they weren't going to hold an edge on ice, so there. I became very very angry and was looking about for a nice cliff to throw them over, and TB became toast, so we decided to bugger off....after 1 1/2 hours skiing!

A record, surely?!

So, we decamped to Chateau Lake Louise which was seriously, utterly, gorgeous. Escorted Doggie through the grand portals (we were in ski boots) and went out the back to play on the lake (it was frozen). We debated whether we would ever stay there, if we were rich, while Doggie entertained the Japanese by zooming around on the ice. Returned to Banff, whereupon TB heroically set out for Calgary ON A BUS!!!! to get the new hire car he'd arranged, which we could leave in Seattle.

I shopped, got some witty T-shirts, a large bottle of Becks Bier and some Greek Chook and watched a very entertaining movie on TV called The Second Civil War. TB got in about 10pm...

Thursday April 3: Banff to Seattle.

TB was homesick, and realising he'd never get rid of me, invited me to stay with him in Seattle (foolish fellow!) I'd got rather used to coffee in the morning and having someone else to do the cooking, and so gratefully accepted.

First though we had to return one hire car to Cranbrook airport, which meant I had to try driving on the wrong side of the car/road again. TB took the lead and I followed. The drive was fun, back through Kootenai Park where it was snowing heavily in the passes. The radio reception was horrible, and the radio stations all played country music.

With a short stop at Radium Hot Springs so TB could play with sheep (see pictures), we got to the airport, dumped car, and set out for Seattle.

As we crossed the border, TB started to keep an eye out for a petrol station, as the car was low on fuel. But, he wouldn't get any in Canada, no, it was too expensive. "It's cheaper stateside", he said. Except when there isn't a bloody station stateside! So, me and Doggie sat in the car scoffing his duty-free toffees while he hitched a ride with a loony to find petrol.

The drive to Seattle was long, and we passed through every kind of weather imaginable. They were night-skiing at Snoqualmie Pass, and Seattle's lights were a lovely sight as we drove down out of the mountains.

Poor TB: his homecoming was not auspicious. The lounge room looked like a tyre salesroom, the fridge had died and still contained what used to be food, the toilet had blown up and the cat had taken to leaving little presents around his cellar.

I took up residence on the couch, and contemplated his extensive collection of pirated videos, 60's music and pirated videos.

Thus ends Chapter 6. In chapter 7, I discover Seattle, ski Local Areas and meet Stu Rempel, president of Olin, who shows me around the Olin/K2 factory.

I also do battle with TB’s evil house-mate, and his evil cat.


	So, how do these Olin shapeds actually turn? Here they are carrying me down a powdery slope at Sunshine, Banff. Managed to get two turns off before running out of hill. It was deceptively high, actually; I got a touch of altitude sickness.