Sure, the WLAF is a hit in Europe, but here are 10 things about
the league that somebody had better fix -- and fast.

   1. THE TV RATINGS On the last week of the World League's regular
season, ABC's rating for a Saturday game between Birmingham and
Raleigh-Durham was 1.4. You can get a higher number than that just by
counting the people who accidentally leave their Sylvania on while
showering. With all due respect, nobody outside eastern North
Carolina gives a used lotto ticket about how Raleigh does or how
Durham does, not to mention Raleigh-Durham. There is an old saying in
the ratings game: When in doubt, go to where the television sets are.
Get a team in Los Angeles, for crying out loud. While USA Network has
three years left on its contract with the World League, ABC has only
one year remaining on its commitment to the new league, and if the
network bolts, who do you think is going to pay for this league, King
Juan Carlos?
   2. SUIT UP SOMBODY WE KNOW  The league MVP was (drumroll, please)
Stan Gelbaugh. No, not a Phoenix orthodontist, but the London
Monarchs' quarterback. He played great, but guys like that aren't
going to tear people away from cleaning out their rain gutters. Have
each NFL team send a few  roster players each year. You can't do it
legally, but if, say, Dan Reeves suggests it in just the right way,
guys will line up to volunteer. The U.S. fans would get a built-in
homeboy to watch.
   3. BUY A CALENDAR  London, with the league's best regular-season
record (9-1) and largest following (average home crowd: 40,481), was
supposed to play at home in its semifinal playoff against New
York-New Jersey, but the Monarchs couldn't use Wembley Stadium
because soccer matches that had been scheduled months before had
first dibs. So the Monarchs flew to New York to play the first home
game in history staged five time zones away. A sure crowd of 55,000
in London was turned into one of 23,149 in East Rutherford, N.J.
   4. WHAT GENUIS DECIDED TO GO WITH USA NETWORK?  USA has done an
excellent job $ covering the games -- the helmetcam, the miked
coaches and players, the strong color commentators -- but hard-core
fans, which this league requires, do not watch USA. The ratings
plunged below 1.0 for eight of the last 15 games USA carried.
Besides, when do you plug your upcoming games, during reruns of
Murder, She Wrote?
   5. NEXT YEAR, BE READY TO PLAY  The league was still drafting
players on Feb. 28 and started its season on March 23. American fans
seemed interested enough to give the WLAF a look -- ABC's ratings for
the first three weeks were 2.6, 2.7 and 2.4, respectively -- but the
games were so mangled that they didn't deserve a second look. When
one game had 11 turnovers and on five occasions early on a team gave
up 10 or more sacks, My Favorite Martian reruns started looking
pretty good. By the fourth week, ABC's rating had sunk to 1.7.
   6. ENOUGH WITH THE SWEARING  More blue language came over hot WLAF
mikes than in a month of HBO. Fine 'em $500 every four letters. To
these guys, $500 really means something.
   7. NO TEAM IN THE MIDWEST?  You're right -- nobody likes football
in Chicago, Cincinnati, Denver or St. Louis. Get with it.
   8. BACK OFF The league is not yet six months old and it's
overexposed. If you had wanted to watch a WLAF game on Saturday
afternoon, Saturday night, Sunday afternoon and Monday night, you
could have done so in each of four weeks. You would have been
considered a very sick person, but you could have done it.
   9. TWO EUROPEAN TEAMS IN THE BIG GAME?  America had to love that.
Hey, Morty, let's get everybody together over at my house with a
bunch of Cheez-its and beers and watch Barcelona and London in the
World Bowl. . . . Morty? Set up the playoffs so that an
intercontinental matchup is guaranteed in the championship game.
   10. SAY NO TO DAY-GLO  You know those uniforms the Orlando Thunder
wear? The lime ones? Turn them down a notch. Thanks.



Copyright 1991 Time Inc.