Fact: If Chelsea played the way they did in the first half against Moan U all the time, they would win the League, both cups, World War 2 and the National Lottery, all without breaking sweat.

It was superb to see the "great" Man U reduced to panic within 2 minutes of the game starting, as Franco Zola strolled onto a great ball from Di Matteo or Petrescu, I forget which, danced around three defenders and slotted the ball past Schmeichel at his near post (yes, NEAR POST !). The way Zola comprehensively took out Irwin, an experienced defender, was awe-inspiring.

As you can imagine, the place went completely nuts, I was hugging people I'd normally cross the street to avoid, it was great stuff.

After that, things got even better, United went to pieces completely, I've never seen panic like it, it was a first grade, top quality, economy sized shambles. Better still was the baiting of the Butcher Keane, I was offering any odds that he'd be off by half time, but nobody would take the bet. The only reason he didn't go was because the ref was his Dad. (He must have been, no-one else would have put up with it). To see so-called experienced players lose it so comprehensively was so pleasurable that I'm seriously considering taking a change of underpants next time.

The only United player not to lose his temper was poor Brian McClair, but he was so unremittingly AWFUL that it didn't make any difference.

The only thing Chelsea did wrong was not to capitalise on the situation by scoring at least one other goal, something they really needed to do. We all knew that one goal wouldn't be enough against Moan U, they can be relied on to score by the 50th minute of injury time, if not before. (In the event they scored mid-way through the second half, thereby saving the ref from the embarrassment of having to keep the game going until they did).

Chelsea did come very close with the best move of the match, and probably every other match played that day. Again Zola was involved, he was awesome in the first half. His understanding with Hughes is causing lots of problems for defences these days. I feel sorry for Vialli, but you can see why Ruud sticks with those two in attack. Anyway, the moved involved both of them streaming away on the break, two on two. Zola had the ball and ran diagonally right, while Hughes ran in the opposite direction to draw off the defender who was tracking him, on the grounds that Zola could comfortably deal with one defender and have a good scoring chance. Amazingly, both defenders followed Zola, leaving Hughes completely unmarked. This is where great players show their worth: instead of taking on the defenders and trying for glory, which he was perfectly entitled to do, Zola saw that Hughes was free, dummied the gits, and pushed the ball into Hughes' path. Unusually, Hughes couldn't get in a good enough shot to beat Schmeichel, and the move broke down, but it has to rate as one of the great moments at the Bridge.

You should have seen Fergie's face while all these shenanigans were going on, talk about a mouth like a cat's arse ! Cantona looked like he'd been sucking lemons for lunch as well. How we laughed.

At this point it's worth mentioning Man U's "fans". They were magnificent, applauding every tackle, encouraging the team when they let in the goal, roaring and yelling so much that you just couldn't hear Chelsea at all. Not. They were fucking useless, just standing there with their hands in their pockets, looking sullen, the twats. It's always the same with them, you only hear them when they're winning. What they need is twenty five years of winning fuck all, then they'd understand what it is to be a fan. I promise you, we didn't hear one peep out of them until they scored, and you can imagine the derision they were subjected to when we did finally hear them.

We were trying to imagine what Fergie was going to say to his team when they went in for half time, what I wouldn't have given to be the proverbial fly on the wall. I reckon he met them in the tunnel with his face painted blue, swinging a claymore round his head, because United were clutching their arses and looking embarrassed when they came back out.

Predictably, perhaps, Chelsea seemed to have lost the plot a bit, and allowed United to string some passes together and get some rhythm going. It was frustrating to watch, because Chelsea had already proved that they were by far the better team. It was only a matter of time before they scored, and sure enough, they duly scored one of the jammiest goals you're ever likely to see - Frankie Sinclair headed a cross away, which landed straight on Beckham's right boot, not a place you'd particularly want the ball to fall. It was jammy in that sense, but to be honest United had been piling on the pressure, and Beckham took the goal well enough.

The good thing was that the Chelsea fans didn't start slagging the team, they got behind the boys. It was great to be a part of it. The atmosphere these days reminds me of what it was like when I used to go as kid in the late sixties and early seventies, when Chelsea drew crowds of 50,000-60,000 regularly.

I enjoyed the game immensely, there's not much wrong with Chelsea now, all they need is self belief and more games together, then the consistency will come.

Honourable Mentions:

• Frank Sinclair, he was superb at the back as usual, and his commitment was up to his usual high standard.
• Roberto Di Matteo, his passing and running off the ball were amazing.
• Eddie Newton, I crapped myself when he had the ball and was taking on two attackers with nobody behind him to back him up except Grodas (!), but somehow he got away with it. Three times.
• Mark Hughes, what can you say about the man ? Again his holding up of the ball was first class, you can see how it helps the rest of them sort themselves out.
• Franco Zola, words cannot do justice to the way he played, especially in the first half when the space he was being allowed on the right wing was criminal.
• Dan Petrescu, again a superb performance.

It just goes to show what quality we have when I haven't singled out people like Den, Franck, Steve Clarke, even Hitchy for praise. They all played well, which is the key. You need everybody to be pulling their weight against swine like Moan U, or you'll get stuffed every time. Are you listening, Scott Minto ? (Woeful once again).

Incidentally, it was nice to see Erland coming on as sub, I like his commitment as well, even if he is a bit of a donkey. Er, I mean Viking.

The crowd:

Better than normal today, apart from the two blokes in front of us, who were rightly getting at Roy Keane, the trouble was that they were calling him a "dirty paddy bastard", plus other, worse Irishist (?) insults, which was bad enough, especially when you consider how my mate Brian from Galway, who was paying us a visit for the weekend, could have felt about it. In fact, he seemed to find them faintly amusing, which says a lot about him as a person. I wonder how they would have reacted to hearing, say, Eddie Newton being racially abused by a Moan U supporter ? Of course they'd have gone mental, wouldn't they ?

They made up for it by calling Schmeichel a "white bastard" though. In fact the whole lot of us were chanting "Ian Wright Wright Wright" at him, you could see he was fuming.

To sum up, we were probably unlucky not to win, based on our performance in the first half. What really saved us in the second half was Andy Cole. How many times was he clear through, only to balloon the ball into the penthouse suite in the hotel or into the side netting ? Perm any number from 20 to 100. He really is quite awful.

I'm looking forward to the Leicester replay, if we play like we did today we'll win 10-0.