"Priesty's Everton report will appear here by this 5:30 this evening (27th Nov)"

Well. That was a bit of a lie, wasn't it ? It's probably a bit late to do a report now, but the basics of it were that Everton were shite, Chelsea couldn't break down their 11-man defence until a few minutes from the end, when we got two penalties, 1 of which was as clear a penalty as you could ever hope to see, the other was debatable, we scored from both and won 2-0. End of story, 3 points in the bag.

Notable moments were few and far between, except the incident where podgy boy Southall picked the ball up after the second penalty had been given, and deliberately hoofed it into the Everton section of the crowd, who, of course, didn't give it back. We all got a good laugh when someone yelled out: "Bleeding scousers - they'll nick anything".

Sorry about the unforeseen delay in doing the report, nought out of ten for commitment, must do better.