Sir, The summer is upon us once again, and naturally our thoughts turn to bikinis, Bob Marley and Bolivian marching powder. Before we get too carried away, however, let's take a few moments to review the crazy events of the last few weeks:
As you know I have long suspected that Sven Goran Ericksson is a pervert who knows absolutely fuck nothing about football, but today I offer you hard evidence. Did you watch the Slovakia match ? I ask you, who in their right mind would pick Gareth Southgate and Matthew Upson ahead of John Terry ? OK, JT is coming back from injury, but even if he had a wooden leg he'd be a fuck sight faster than those 2 muppets - when you think of mean defences Middlesborough and Birmingham are not your obvious choices, are they ? And let's not even discuss Calamity James or Phil Neville in central midfield.. I read with horror that we have let Jody Morris go gratis, with hearty thanks for the memories and shut the door behind you. Have I missed the point, or are Chelsea trying to suggest that nobody was prepared to pay a penny for Jody ? What, not even Portsmouth ? Them who were so desperate for a midfielder they bought Tim Sherwood ? Tim fucking Sherwood ! I ask you ! I would like to say a big thank you to Jody for his all his devotion to Chelsea over the years. I wish him all the best in what I predict to be a fantastic career (but not Tottenham eh Jody?) You have got to admire those news-hungry journos who slave night and day making up stories for our daily papers. And have you ever wondered why you will never read a positive story about Chelsea ? It's because they are scared of us and what will happen when we take over European football. So it really is no wonder that they link us with all the worst players (Bowyer, Battigoal, Danny Mills !) while suggesting that we are on the verge of losing our crown jewels (Terry, Gallas, Zola). My advice to all you Chelsea fans is to ignore all other information sources and rely on Priesty to tell it to you straight. What is it with all these muppets who call themselves Chelsea fans and then in the next breath call for Jimmy Floyd to leave our mighty, mighty club ? Let me remind you, sports fans, that JFH was second only to Gianfranco in the scoring charts, and remains the best striker in the Premiership today. You can take all your Ruud Van Nestles, your Terence Henrys and the rest and shove them up your arse. JFH is the man and will remain that way for at least 4 seasons, god willing. Claudio, if you are reading this please consider bringing any of the following players to Chels this summer: Jason Koumas (WBA), Danny Tiatto (Man City), Simon Davies (Tottenham), Nagatta (Parma). Since the start of the Premiership, if you added up all the points amassed by each team and put them in a league table, who do you think would finish in the top 4 ? Who gives a fuck about 1-2-3 but you may be surprised to know that Chels currently occupy 4th position, ahead of your Leeds, your Spurs, your Villas, your Newcastles, your Evertons and pretty much everybody else. So next time you hear John Gregory suggesting Chelsea are not a big team tell him to him to go and fuck his mother. The same goes to anyone who slags off Sir Kenneth, who over the last 20 years has brought us Gianfranco, trophies, seating, electric fences and a fuck-you attitude.
Hush... we are in the presence of genius....
© 2003
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Les.
