What a great time to be alive! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Leeds are all licking their wounds and Dennis Wise is the toast of Bermondsey! Yes my friends life is sweet – even having 20 stitches in my foot, hobbling around on crutches and being prescribed non opiate based pain killers cannot dampen my enthusiasm. Why am I so happy? Do you really need to ask?
Well done Plucky Arsenal!
I would like to congratulate minnows Arsenal on getting to the quarter finals of the Champions league. This really is an extraordinary achievement for a two-bob club. It really is one for their fans who have to put up with a decrepit ground, a team full of foreigners (with the exception of Martin Monkey Keown), and a manager who clearly does not know his arse from his elbow. So for a team like Arsenal to score twice against Chelsea and to get a draw at Stamford Bridge is really the stuff of legends. The big question is how did we go 17 matches without beating the cunts?
You’ll never beat the Chelsea
If you think that Arsenal are bitches just take a stroll down the waste land that is Seven Sisters to White Hart Lane. I find it incredible that Spurs have managed to stay in the top flight for so long given their criminal lack of talent, their gift at buying overpriced tarts and their desire to have an team with an average age of 42. It is really no surprise to learn that Spurs have not finished in the top 10 in the Premiership in the last 9 seasons and yet their fans still reckon that they are one of London’s top sides! Still we cannot complain as they always give us 6 points and a fucking good laugh in the process. I say well done Pleaty, you old kerb crawler! Earlier in the campaign he was forecasting Euro glory, now he’s toasting another season in the prem.
Maurice Tarrico, what were you thinking?
Watching the recent Spurs match I was highly amused by the antics of argentine hothead Maurice Tarrico. In a 10 minute spell in the 1st half he first chins Damo Duff off-the-ball and then stamps on Scott Parker. His behaviour was so bad that even mild mannered Frank Lampard had to have a go! I don’t know what Pleaty said to him at half time but Maurice came out fighting, was promptly booked (when a sending off was more appropriate) and then was substituted. My question is what is Maurice so angry about? Is he still smarting about his sending off against Chelsea last season? Or is he playing for a shit club, with no future and the worst fans in the capital?
Ambrosio
I do not often make mistakes but when I do I like to apologise to those involved and I owe a massive apology to Ambrosio. When I first heard that Carlo was out for the two Arsenal games I thought that’s it we are fucked. However I was seriously under-estimating Ambrosio. He went from zero to god of goalkeeping overnight. Did you catch his performance against Bolton? He was nothing short of brilliant. Now at last Carlo has some competition and we never have to watch Neil Sullivan again!
Monaco Away
I had a dust-up about the 1st leg in Monaco. My adversary was suggesting that Claudio had got it wrong and lost the match. I saw it differently. Think boxing. Monaco were reeling from the red card and were on the ropes. Claudio says to himself: “Now I fuck them in the mouth!”, and throws on a couple of wingers (well JFH and mystery man Veron) with a hope of delivering the knock-out blow. He took a chance, my friends, and you can’t say fairer than that. Unless of course you felt that Claudio should have kept his flies done up and should not have shown his Roman bollocks, but only a small bitch would think like that.
Big Fat Ron
Oh Ronald what have you done, you orange fucker? You have ruptured the liver of your golden goose and you will never be heard of again. Unless of course you go to a “Burnley BNP Night with Ron” fund-raising dinner. Let’s kick Ron out of football, because there ain’t no orange in the union jack!
Reasons to be cheerful X 10
You see my point ?
Mental, mental, chicken oriental...
© 2004
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Sir,
Les.
