Sir, This is Klaus the voice of reason, formerly from the East Stand, latterly in exile in Moenchenfuckinggladbach, trying to give your tawdry website some European flavour... For the first time in living memory I wasn't that upset seeing The Blues lose at the weekend. At least, I thought, it would wipe the smile off God's face. Surprise surprise, it didn't. Yes, we are 2nd in the league and practically in the next round of the CL, but so we were with Claudio and it was at least fun watching. Just having bought Claudio's book, a lot of things have become clearer to me. For one thing, as long as that turncoat Kenyon is anywhere in West London nothing will change. Roman bought the club as a toy; he wants to have some fun. So what is the point of having that cunt Kenyon around ? He is taking the fun out of everything. It's no surprise that George Graham thinks we're great - we're just as boring as his Arse... I was the guy who said I didn't care if we had 11 kangaroos on the pitch as long they wore blue and won, and I stand by that, but I didn't count on a Mateus Rose-swilling, wannabe Italian on the touchline... Jose, you can wear what you want and have a 3-day stubble, but you will never have the class of a Luca or a Claudio, basically because you come from a third world country which is only good at building golf courses and selling Bacardi Breezers to tourists on the Algarve. The next time you demand a table for fourteen in La Famiglia without booking, learn the Italian for "you gotta be joking mate, we don't care who you are, Claudio and Ken always phoned first"... Klaus.

© 2004 Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.