If I were to tell you that boy bands and a pair of teenage breasts were ruling the "pop" charts you might guess it was the late 80's. You'd be wrong. The exact same wonderful pop music that guided the ignorant masses into the 90's also guide them into the 00's.

Why even bother examine something as useless as pop music? I guess in someway it's the perfect example of a society that grades personal taste and intelligence so far down the list of acceptable and desirable qualities that musical trash such as what infests the pop charts is all that oozes from radios and TV's coast to coast.

I don't pretend to know the details of this mess. I can't remember the last time I was able to listen to a "modern" music station. I also can't remember the last time I said, "I know! I want to watch some MTV" My role in this mess is simply to view it from the outside and judge it according to my tastes.

I wanted to examine this musical waste product but when I tried to I realized there was no musical scale to judge it on. You can't point to a band member and give them credit for being a skilled musician you can't credit a teenage boy band for being innovative. The art of music seems to have been wiped out of the American mindset completely. Why must the most media savvy, well-connected, most educated, richest country in the world have the worst tastes in popular music?

So why do people like it if it's so bad? Simple. Americans love nice little plastic packages with a catchy jingle attached to them. It's the same reason they're going to show up for Die Hard part 8,002. Freedom confuses them. They're like scared animals. No. They ARE scared animals unwilling to scour away from the herd on their never ending march to mediocrity.

Well that's all I have. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to listen to some good music and cleanse my mind of this mess. I conclude that pop music is possibly the worst form of media brainwashing that exists in modern times and the record industry is not very far apart from the type of people who sell poorly manufactured consumer goods on late night TV infomercials.

My musical hero Frank Zappa once said that music is less vital and important than the Frisbee to most Americans. He couldn't have been more right.

It's only fitting that my non-objective review of "pop music" ends without a shred of actual reviewing content. If this article were a pop song, it'd be a hit.