Poems about... Playing the Shit

FIVE YEARS

How could City be so foolish
As to sign Tony Pulis?
Scally couldn't cool his
Temper nor his mulish
Disposition.

Wouldn't practise penalty kicks -
Lost to Royle in the play-offs.
Thus the Gills were truly fucked.
Scally sacked the foolish Pulis
For alleged gross mis-con-duct.

"I don't care," said dotty Scotty
As he signed the foolish Pulis.
"I will cool his
Nasty temper
And his mulish
Disposition."

"I'm in charge," said dotty Scotty
As he signed the five year deal.
"I will rule this
Foolish Pulis
I'm in charge, not Robert Neale."

A C Ashton
6th July 1999
My Dad's reaction to when City got Tony Pulis as manager, what a good decision that turned out to be - not! Ha!

HOW DO I LOVE THEE?


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth of the
Memorial Ground and beyond. When play-offs are out of sight
For this season - you're still my ideal Gas.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet read, the Evening Post website.
I love thee freely, as you strive for goals;
I love thee purely, despite this losing phase.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with memories of lost derbies
I love thee with a love that I can never lose
With those lost games - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death. 

SUE ASHTON
15th March 1998
With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I wrote this after we lost 2-0 at trashton in 1998. We'd had a string of defeats and this was the icing on the bad run cake. But despite everything, losing in a derby makes you realise how much you love your team. Some of it is a reference to the fact I got a lot of the Rovers gossip from the Internet as I was at Uni at the time and not able to go to every game. Luckily, after this we pulled things round and got into the Play Offs in the last match of the season v Brentford!!

RAGE


They must be mental to support the Shite
Whose players run round and round until the end of play
Rage, rage against promotion of the Shite

Supporters who when things aren't going right
Tear up hoardings at their own ground, they
Must be mental to support the Shite

Sad men who on that derby night
Got into their ground without having to pay
Must be mental to support the Shite

And with Wembley and the winning post in sight
Remember, remember the second of May
Rage, rage aginst promotion of the Shite

And you, dear Scott, from your sad height
Put your money by for another day
You must be mental to support the Shite
Rage, rage aginst promotion of the Shite 

A C ASHTON
With apologies to Dylan Thomas
5th May 1997


Another poem of Dad's about City




JOHNNYWARDY



'Twas brilliant as the Beadle shots

Did crash and settle in the net;

All happy were the Gashead lot,

The City fans just wept.


"Beware the Johnnyward, my son!

The jaws that gape, the words that bore!

Beware the Jordan Joke and shun

The Scott we all abhor!"


He took the contract in his hand;

Long time an increased fee he sought - 

He'd still not signed when Wycombe came,

And stood awhile in thought.


And, as in selfish thought he stood,

The Johnnyward, with eyes of greed,

Approached again the Rovers' board,

And said he'd sign the deed.


"Two-nil, two-four makes four and four,

It doesn't matter if we lose,"

Were not the words they'd waited for,

And so they had to choose.


And thus they sacked the Johnnyward,

And welcome home our Kingswood boy.

"O glorious day! It's Holloway!"

We shouted in our joy.


'Twas brilliant as the Beadle shots

Did crash and settle in the net;

All happy were the Gashead lot,

The City fans just wept.



A C ASHTON
With apologies to Lewis Carroll



A poem about John Ward going to City...unfortunately Beadle ended up there too after this was written...










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