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The Story:
    What makes a lot of these jokes really funny is that they are based on reality. To be fair, some of them are completely fictional, and are just amusing things we always say about players. Sometimes however, truth is stranger than fiction...

Riddle me this	True or False?
Q: How many Blazers does it take to change a tire? A: Zero. None of them could pry the nuts loose!	Happened January 14, 1998, in Yoho National Park.
Q: What's the difference between Randy Petruk and God? A: God does not think he is Randy Petruk.	Insert name of least favourite player here...
Q: Did you hear what award Micki DuPont won? A: The Blazers voted him their best all-ROUND player!	No, it's a fat joke. Don't ask me, I didn't start it.
Dean Evason walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to Davis Parley and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." Parley agreed, and Evason looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?" Parley thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?!" Evason exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!!!!"	I wouldn't put it past them.
The Phone Conversation Player: So why won't you sleep with me? Ex-girlfriend: I'm pregnant. Player: Oh...Uh, is it mine? Ex-girlfriend: Umm...We never had sex...	Names have been withheld to protect the stupid.