East Hartford
PLAYER PROFILE
FEATURING:
Stouts
Birth Name: Dennis Stanley Connors
Uniform # 21
Date of Birth: April 24, 1969
Age: 31
Height: 6’1"
Weight: 215
Hair: Light brown w/ some grays
Eyes: Green
Nicknames: Al-Stan-Stouts-Boris-Leonard-Serinski-Jr., Cash, Stuffer
Acquired: signed on as a waterboy (equipment manager) on 9/1/83, later re-signed as a player 3/29/85
Marital Status:  Single (lucky dog)
Favorite Food:  Chicken, or anything that had feathers
Favorite Drink:  Rumplemintz
Favorite Sayings: “What the f---!?", "You suck", "Blah", and many more that he is trying to purchase the copyrights from Morrissey
Most embarrassing moment:  Falling down on seats in section 321 at Whalers game, only to be stopped by some woman's arm eight rows down

        Signed originally as the Kings equipment manager(AKA water boy) Stouts worked hard to improve his game till he earned a spot on the big club in the spring of 1985.  Known early on in his career as a garbage collector, Stouts worked endlessly to improve his shortcomings and through hard work made himself an excellent defensive player, a skilled playmaker and an outstanding forechecker.  During his time on the Kings he has been a member of five championship teams and has led his league in assists once and his team twice.  When not playing for the Kings, Stouts has also had a lengthy career as a member of the Kings sister team the Blades where he has won three championships.
 
        Though his career was productive, there can be little doubt what he will be most remembered for.  His outstanding work on the Kings web page has been nothing but amazing.  He along with T.F. Cormier rejuvenated the love and the hate of the purple and gold just before it was beginning to be a footnote in history.  On the dek he will be remembered for his ability to annoy other teams’ defensemen with his “in your face” style of forechecking (that is until he got old and slow like the rest of us). The list of defensemen his pissed-off in Plainville is endless and I’m sure they won’t miss seeing him in their corner anymore.  With all of his accomplishments, the one thing this writer will remember most is his unwillingness to pass to a wide-open T.F. Cormier as he stood unguarded on the side of the net.  Cormier was quoted as saying “he owes me big time.  Thanks to him, it is the only season I have played where I have not scored a goal since way back in Bloomfield”.  On the dek, I’m sure most everyone else will remember him for being the recipient of Mike Blair’s “big dummy” comment, which could be the stupidest putdown ever directed to a Kings player.


        Though mostly positive, there are a few things Boris would like to forget.  These include:  his days as water boy; losing that same job to Richard Kukla (AKA Rats twin brother); the possibility that the ball he claims is his first career goal is nothing but a practice ball (50/50); losing to the Monarchs after working so hard to make the playoffs; anything to do with Kevin, Miles and Adam; losing in the finals in East Hartford in the final Kings’ appearance in the finals; that Mike Carerra wore his number one season; anytime he played with Jay Creel (could never accept a pass from); getting smooshed by Tony Delaura; playing with his head down while playing at the tennis courts; that at the tender age of 15 he saw a guy getting oral favors in the parking lot at Hockey World; drinking that OJ  before his dad’s birthday party (about a ½ gallon mixed with vodka, left over from a King party the night before); the nickname Boris or Uncle Boris (if near Victoria Cormier); and of course, giving his work phone number to T.F. Cormier.

 
        Stouts hopes for the future are that all the losers who played on Westside and couldn’t keep their trap shut die of a slow painful death (when they are not busying shlobbing each others knob), that the Kings web site will get an award from PC Magazine for web site of the year, that T.F. gets Adobe photo shop so he will stop bothering him all the time, that he never has to see a reenactment of the infamous Doug picture with Mark Priest as the subject, that one of the three idiots on Westside mess with Rat, that Mike Blair never tries to get revenge about anything written on the web page, that he wins just one dead pool, that the picture to right was actually true, and that he gets the chance to play hockey on any level with Morrissey, Carter, Priest, Rat, Nick, Stuka, T.F. and the Mook one more time, even if it’s not as a member of the Kings.

- T.F. Cormier
 
 

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