East Hartford
PLAYER PROFILE
FEATURING:
Mike Stuka
Birth Name: Mike Joseph Stuka Jr. 
Uniform # 1
Position  Goalie
Date of Birth: November 20, 1968
Age: 30 (as of 11/13/99)
Height: 5’10"
Weight: 225
Hair: Blonde and thinning
Eyes: Blue
Nicknames: Stu, Stuke, The Stu-man, Sieve, Pylon, Road Cone, Rodney
Acquired: signed as a free agent on 6/19/93
Marital Status:  Married
Favorite Food:  Filet mignon
Favorite Drink:  Long Island Iced Tea
Favorite Sayings: “I was screened", It's not my fault, I stopped the first five", "Where the hell is my defense?", "How did that go in?", "Is my neck getting red?", "Why do you play Priest and T.F. on defense at the same time?", "he was in my crease", "F--- off", You suck", "So the doctor says...", "There's your brother", "Con?, Stu.", "Joooooooooooe"
Most embarrassing moment:  Giving up three goals to Dennis Connors in less than two minutes when he was the goalie for Franks Willow Inn

        Signed originally in the summer of 1993 and immediately paid dividends.  Stuka helped lead the Kings to the first of six straight championships with his play in goal in his very first season.  In his years with the Kings Mike has been a member of three championship teams including the teams last one in the summer of 1996.  Mike was also a long time member of the Kings sister team the Blades.  His departure from that team came when he stopped showing up for games and was unceremoniously dumped and went on to sign a free agent contract with another team.  Recently he attempted a comeback with the Blades, but  (like many of us) has other priorities to put a squash on that.  There is no doubt however that his crowning achievement came when he was named to the first team all-star team in Kings history and was nominated for membership into the Kings hall of fame.
 
 
 
        Stuka will long be remembered for being the only goalie in dek-hockey history to lead his team to a championship his first season - then be replaced before his second season, sharing a three way tie for most titles as a King goalie, being Rat’s secret lover (proven by their need for Rat to touch him last after warm-ups), for instigating the last melee in team history, for surviving years of having T.F. and Priest on defense in front of him and for saving his best for the playoffs (even if he was a sieve the rest of the time).
 
 
 
 

        Stuka lists many things he would like to forget, included in which are: Giving up those last two goals to the Monarchs, that he didn’t knob #11 on the Dreamers when he had a chance, giving up all those goals to Stouts when he was a member of the hated Franks Willow Inn team, Boning the Blades, having T.F. score on him in a playoff game despite the fact that they were on the same team, not getting that hole between his legs stitched up, not proposing to Rat before Lisa, any time Priest and T.F. played on defense together and of course any game he faced the Kings and was lit up (which was all of them).
 
 
 

 
        Now that he is retired, Stuka hopes the future will bring: that he finally get the long deserved respect from T.F. that he feels is warranted for his play in goal, that his future child looks like his wife and not him (for obvious reasons), that he has the votes to be enshrined into the Kings hall of fame, that he never see the numbers 9 and 11 in front of him again, that Rat gets to touch him one last time without his wife finding out, that he gets permission to attend the Kings gathering/d-pool event after the first of the year, and most importantly, that he and his wife have a happy bouncing baby King.

- T.F. Cormier
 
 

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