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Part 1
It was a sunny morning on the day of Rafe ik'Letrani 's birth. To his father it seemed that the boy took more time and trouble arriving than he had in the making, but Garek said nothing of this to his Kia. With a burst of their mental energy, the boy burst forth into the world. Lerana sank to the bed with sweat surrounding her, and Garek was handed his son.
Somewhat mumble handedly, Garek managed to imprint himself on his son, awaking him that way. The field of stars irised out of his pupil, and his son's did in response. "Rafe." Garek said, walking over to his wife and lying the child in her arms. He regretted that he had barely a moment to hold the child, and less time for his wife. She was lethargic as he kissed her cheek and brushed back her hair before he walked out the door.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"I trust all went well. Lerana is doing alright?"
"As far as I could be sure of. I had to leave so suddenly, my liege."
"I am sorry for this, Garek. Had I any other choice...or any other protector."
Garek raised his hands in supplicance. There was no other guardsman better than he, it was as genetic in his family as it was for the Oosha to be the Oosha. Three hundred of his ancestors had stood slight behind and on the right hand of the Oosha. Hopefully many more would continue to do so. Even young Rafe.
"It cannot be helped."
"You never said what the child was, Garek." The Oosha said to him.
"Rafe." The two walked briskly down the hallway, trailing other various guards, but Garek was the only real danger to anyone - or protection. "I would like to know what your brother finds so pertinent that I must miss the birth of my own child."
"He is home for his report. He will only stay a few days and then he will be back to earth to negotiate with the Erdlufi." The Oosha said as they entered a room. He looked over his shoulder at the large Commander of the Guard, and the doubt passed between their eyes, something that would be imperceptible to anyone outside of the exchange.
The doors opened and the Oosha hugged his brother, the Draggit, who threw a scathing gaze at Commander Garek. "Brother...so good it is to see you again." The two stepped apart. "And you as well, Commander."
Garek bowed his head a moment. The Draggit was, after all was said and done, of higher rank than he who was only the personal guardian of 'the ruler of us all'. After the perfunctory bow to the brother of the king, and the opening pleasantries, Garek took up his post behind the Oosha's right shoulder as the ruler listened to his brother's report.
All lies, Garek knew.
And Garek was only listening with half of his mind. He noted the bulk of the report, which was in hard copy at the Oosha's fingertips, and the leer in the Draggit's eyes, but stored it away. His mind was focused on the newest ik' Letrani...on the young babe that slept at his mother's breast...on Rafe.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Young Rafe seemed to grow like what the Erdlufi would call a weed. At his third birthday, along with learning how to walk and talk, he was nearly three and a half feet tall. Lerana was so proud of him -- all Rafe's accomplishments served only to prove that there had been no mistake in making Garek a personal guard, nor in the choice of his line, nor in his choice of her. She was utterly in love with the boy, as was his father when he had a chance to be home with the two of them.
Rafe admired the tall man that came to visit them sometimes, and did as he was told by calling the man 'father', but he was far closer with the mother that enveloped all of his days and time.
They were each other's waking and dreaming worlds. From morning 'till night they were the only necessary society of the household.
And then that world fell apart.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Rafe was playing with his new toys. His birthday had been the day before and 'father' had sent him several diversionary playthings. He sat in his room on the first floor of the domicile. Relatively speaking of course, the house was too large to be called a house and far to lavish to be ccalled a mansion. On the outskirts of the capital of Tyrus, this house had been in the ik'Letrani line since they had first become the masters of the personal guard to the Oosha. Careful management had extended it, and now what Lerana and Rafe considered the first floor was really the balcony level above five stories overlooking the land that accompanied the estate.
But Lerana had not come to check on him, as she usually did at this hour.
It had happened before, Rafe remembered, but that had usually been when 'father' was home. All he had to do was go searching for her, as she sometimes did, and she would be sure to find him before he got too far. That was the way the two lived together...apart and yet always in contact. He rose onto his long shaky legs and walked out of the room.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
She wasn't on the balcony outside his room. Not anywhere near the kitchen. The servants were gone as well, and that made him wonder a little, in his three year old mind. He could never recall a time when there were no servants to handle the menial jobs, at worst some were sent away because of conduct...whatever that meant. And now none were anywhere.
Maybe she was upstairs.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The house was deadly silent as Rafe started up the long staircase. It was difficult for him, having just so recently learned to walk and still in the process of coordinating his leg muscles and motions to accomplish walking. Stairs were something he was still usually carried up.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Lerana and Garek had decided not to install the elevators or ramps that many homes deemed necessary for usage. They liked the classical style that the staircases had lent their home. Garek would never be happier about their decision as he was on that afternoon. The door opened, and the sun was lowering behind him. The first sun anyway. He saw the large staircase before him, and Rafe halfway to the first landing.
Rafe looked behind him to see the silhouette in the doorway. It was 'father'. All he wanted right now was to find mommy, to be able to have a hug because he was suddenly very frightened. He cowered against the banister of the stairs and watched the tall, large man climb the stairs quickly. 'Father' patted him on the head and smiled at him as he passed, on his way upstairs.
Rafe stayed where he had stopped because that probably meant that the two of them would be busy for a while. He got a little angry, but then the man came back down the steps. "Mommy?" Rafe asked him.
Garek was broken up inside, and he scooped the open-armed boy up against him awkwardly. "No, she's not with us anymore, Rafe." He said tenderly, with compassion in his voice.
"Mommy's gone? Where did you take her!" The small fists beat against the strong chest futilely and he looked upset. Garek started to speak, but Rafe dropped off his pounding. Comprehension was strong in him about such things. Even at three, and he was shocked by the realization. He asked his father, in a voice older than Garek thought possible, "Will I ever see her again?" as he pressed himself against his father's chest in a sorrowful hug.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Rafe's mother was dead. She had been threatened by the servants...those Rafe had known all of his life...and had taken the best way out. Lerana was courageous, almost as much so as her husband was, and she had first taken an arubus that he kept in the house for her and killed many of the rebellious servants, only to be stabbed in the back with a har-nor. Upon his entrance the other rebels had fled...and rather than follow them, he knelt to his Kia.
"Kia, how can I help you?" His heart had been in his throat at the moment.
"I do not think you can, beloved." She said in kind as the blood began to run from her back. "Protect...our son...he must be you..." She said, gasping for breath because the sharp knife had pierced her lungs through her back and were digging in deeper with each breath she took.
"I love you." He said, tears in his eyes as he looked down into her face, so full of pain.
"I, you, always." She replied in their personal vow.
Garek saw that she would suffer longer than necessary, if left to bleed to death, and so he opened a locket at his neck. "No more pain for you, Kia." He was crying, and made no effort to stop the flow of salty liquid from his eyes, nor the pain from his heart.
"You were always so good to me, beloved..." She said as he took out a pill.
He winced. "I left you alone...for so long." He said, as he raised the pill to his eye level.
Unexpectedly, she took his wrist in her hand with the remaining strength she had, despite the throbbing pain in each breath. "Never." She said to him, "You did not leave me...of your own...will." There was a raspy silence a moment, and he bent to kiss her lips one last time. "You gave me a new life when you left." She said. "Protect him, beloved, Rafe must..." She coughed.
Garek nodded.
"Rest now, my dear...you will soon be in a beautiful place...and there will be no more of this pain."
Lerana closed her eyes to the pain on his face, and felt the pill placed on her tongue by his loving hands. Then the darkness closed in on her, and the last thing she heard was her husband's final sob as she went limp in his arms.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Garek had laid her gently down, and wiped the tears from his face, closing the locket at his neck and rising. Now was the time to get out all of the feelings he held inside, because once he walked through that door there would be no more tenderness left for his own feelings. He would have to be strong. For Rafe.
Oh, Kia, how I will miss you. How Rafe will! I never thought that he would be all mine at any time...I don't know if I can...
Suddenly he came upon a memory. It was of the two of them, on the day of their fifth step. She had pressed her hand into his, and he felt the feelings in her heart, 'I will be with you always,' she said to him, and he said it right back. The memory began to fade, and he clung to it a moment, hoping to keep her thoughts alive...but her voice was in his mind chiding him, 'Something as little as this should not phase you, my love! I have not gone away, just ahead, and I will be waiting for you. But he needs you now. The father he has never known...the love of yours he has always had and never truly been aware of. You must teach him what the word father means, even as it was taught to you.' He closed his eyes against the pain in his heart, 'In here, you know what to do. And I will always be here with you.'
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The Oosha was surprised to see Garek so soon. They had parted ways to attend to more personal matters than they had indulged in at the current moment. Garek was to spend time with little Rafe, he recalled. "Garek, what brings you...OOF!"
Garek had not paused in his energetic pace, catching the Oosha around the chest with his left arm and continuing onward to some unknown destination. Rafe was following to the best of his capabilities, and Garek made sure not to leave the boy behind.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
When at last he felt that they were far enough not to be followed, Garek entered a large meeting room and closed the door behind him. The three crossed the room, and entered the young Oosha's private 'office' of sorts. Garek closed the door with his foot and set the Oosha on his feet, then pushed him onto a bench that was against the far wall. "Sit down, Rafe."
Rafe did as he was told, not quite understanding who this man was next to him. 'Father' called him ruler...and Rafe remembered seeing him on the visual displays at home when mommy would point out 'father' to him, always right beside this man called 'Oosha'.
"Meet your Oosha, my son." Garek said, pointing to the royal person beside him.
Rafe turned and bowed his head, as he had been told to when this happened. Garek never sent anyone into a situation un-prepared. Except, perhaps this time, his Oosha. "My son, Rafe, my liege." He said. The Oosha nodded and touched the boy's shoulder, and Rafe lifted his head.
"What is the meaning of this Garek!" He said once he had turned his attention back to the commander. The commander patted his son's head and told him to watch the door.
Rafe obediently rose, glad to be allowed to depart the anxious scene that was developing between his 'father' and his 'Oosha'. He stood shakily, tired after a long day at home and his climb up the stairs. Things were very muffled and he stood listlessly at his post by the door, leaning on the statuette there.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Explain yourself, Commander!" The Oosha roared at him in a moderate voice.
Garek looked into his young Oosha's eyes...the same eyes that had been set in the scared child he had been given charge of when he had been just a boy. Many years ago now, but still not too many that Garek had forgotten...he never forgot about his Oosha.
"Since I was a young boy you have always cared for me, Garek...looked after me...protected me." He said, though the eyes said it so much better. The Oosha looked into Garek's eyes and saw a troubled sorrow. The protective spirit that lurked to watch over him hovered amidst a great pain this time, and that was all. The usually readable eyes of his most trusted guardian were like closed doors to him now, and that scared him more than the abrupt departure and forceful leave taking the man had enacted moments before.
"It has been my duty, my honor, my liege, to do so." Garek said.
"It has oftentimes seemed as though you put your life on hold for this honor, Garek. Have you..." the Oosha's voice was very timid and shaking, "come to resign?"
Garek had indeed considered such a course, for half a moment...when Lerana had looked up into his eyes that last moment...but that had not been for retirement, but for death. "I would never leave this job, unless I left this life, my Oosha." Garek recalled all the times when this same Oosha that was fearful of loosing him had tried to get him to resign...or a new post...or anything. "My life is yours - I have pledged it to you, even as my son will after me."
"Then what is the matter that brings us here?"
"Lerana." Garek said, with only a hint of his inner pain in his voice.
"Your Kia?" The Oosha stared blankly at him. "But she is who you went to see today, is she not? She is well?"
"She is dead." Garek said with another hint of his remorse coloring his voice.
The Oosha was horrified. "How did this happen?!"
"Rebels at the house...she took a har-nor in the back...to protect them from discovering Rafe downstairs."
"Then you helped her along...didn't you?" Garek gave no reply. "YOU..." But Garek's hand clamped over his Oosha's mouth...motioning towards Rafe dozing across the room.
"Listen to me," Garek said in a deadly silent whisper, "she was suffering. Nothing could have saved her short of the Exotar itself. I could not force her death like that." He said, and waited. "No one would have expected otherwise of me." He said, all emotion leaving his voice. "But you have no Kia as of yet, my liege, you cannot know my anguish."
Indeed, he could not, but he could feel pain for and through his friend. Garek did not let go until the Oosha nodded twice, assuring him of his empathy. "You are in danger, my Oosha." He said, straightening the Oosha up from the handling he had given him. "Someone does not want my family's protection of yours to continue."
The great warrior...
He saved my life, my love.
One who walks alone...
He never asked for a thing in return.
One who managed kings and princes...
He deserved so much more.
The man with no past.
A stern taskmasker, a firm shoulder to cry on that asked no explaination.
The man with no feelings.
And gave no explaination.
The man with no future.
The man with no love other than his duty.
Or so they thought.