January 11th, 2004

Here, is where I tell you various things about me. Wow. When I began writing this, I didn't realize how lengthy it was. I'll give you a synopsis--it is a rant about me, as an artist. A very bulky article of my obsession.

Currently, I am not feeling up to dealing with the idea of people stereotyping me based on little factlets such as age or astrological sign or such, although I shall give you one--I am female, although I suppose you may have assumed that already.

More importantly than other factors, to me, anyways--I am an artist. Art is my life, art is me. Or, as the tattoo I plan on getting, someday, will say... "Art, is my God." Allow me to elaborate--I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person. I believe that there is something beyond what our human consciousness can understand, something bigger, if you can describe such things in terms of large and small. Art, is my way of praying, my way of expressing myself, my way of giving praise to something devine. "God" is just a convenient way of summarizing all of that.

I suppose that is the most important thing that I can say about myself, as it tends to consume everything else.

My art takes many forms--Pen and pencil, ink, watercolour, acrylics, sculpture, computer art, writing, photography. Various forms of computer work are art, to me--HTML, PHP, Perl, Python, database theory, Javascript.

There was a time, a while back, when I lived in Alaska, and I did not have a job, nor any really pressing responsibilities. This combined with a strong anti-social streak left me with a lot of free time. I simply sat at the computer, obsessing over various projects, or did my art. Now, so many things distract me, work, friends, my girlfriend, generally just living, and I find myself using that as an excuse to avoid art.

I live in North Carolina now; factlet number two. Or perhaps 10, or 20, as many things I have said can be disolved into factlets, just picked apart from their text.

Edward Gorey is definitely one of my favourite artists, although I have read that he considered himself to be an author rather than an illustrator, (and indeed, his talent with English is perhaps, far superiour than even his excellent drawings.) I consider writing to be an art, and I admire his writings greatly, although it is his drawing style I worship the most. Absolute attention to detail, hundreds of precisely drawn lines of subtle (or not so subtle) implications of horrors, either about to happen, or having happened previously.

I also adore Jhonen Vasquez, although he is so cliched in goth circles... His work is truly beautiful, sarcastic, always joking, always pushing the edge of seriousness. I find myself reading his comics and being reminded of my own form of humour, as I am often known (I think) to say things that are hilarious when taken to be just a joke, and absolutely immoral, sick, twisted, and/or "wrong," when taken seriously--and I intend them, usually, with equal parts humour and honesty. Perhaps I am incorrect in thinking he is similar in that respect, I would not know. In any matter, I find his work hilarious, and visually beautiful.

Next, perhaps, we come to R.S. Connett, who is.. as dark and twisted as I could ever hope to be. I don't think I could allow myself that much freedom to express my dark side... and I also find it hard to take him seriously as an artistic role model, because what I see him express is only darkness, evil, disgust... and I aim to express everything, from the most holy, hollywood-esque love to the most gruesome, sadistic revenge... (Yes, my dreams are often as dark as Connett, yet there is still much light and beauty in them as well. More on this in a minute.) But at any rate, there is much that I do admire in his work, and he is certainly very skilled at expressing himself visually.

In my artistic visions... I often have much darkness I wish to express. I may be, at times considered, by some, rediculously morbid. It is my desire to explore the negativity in life, not to ignore it or pass it by. I have experienced much pain and various unpleasantness in my life, as I think that most have, in some way or another, and I wish to find a way to deal with it in a healthy manner... as opposed to turning on the television, or popping pills, until my synapses die. I draw spooky images so that I can continue to enjoy life.

Very well, enough of my ranting. Please, do not feel forced to read or care about any of it.. and if you wish to know various "factlets" about me, instead, or as well, just email me.